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For years I thought I spoke English but I've come to the realization that I speak American. There's a British monkeyhumper I know that sends me things I can't make heads or tails of. :p Other than American, I took some Spanish and know bits of German from an exchange student that stayed...

I've been working out. It's nice to be appreciated by my Man. :D RaVeN

Okay, that makes twice now that I agree with Abulafia. That's even the first time I've written his name correctly. I'm scared. I may as well resign myself to agreeing with everthing he says from now on. Damn you Martin. Damn you to Hell for turning me into Abulafia's Stepford Bitch. RaVeN

Since he's closed his thread, I've started this one for people to ask Martin questions in which you have little hope of getting an answer. And if you do, it will likely take weeks or be answered by someone else. You should check back hourly though because you never know if the posts will be...

Martin, how dare you make me agree with Abu on something! I'll never forgive you for this. :mad: RaVeN

If you miss him then, he will also be at Borders Oxford Street, London, the night of Oct. 11th for Science Fiction night. Joining him will be Susanna Clarke, author of "Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell" RaVeN

Phil who? :D RaVeN

What I make out of it is you like to search for sick filth that should be banned. Cool. :D RaVeN

Okay. okay, okay. So when's your Birthday? I want some proof that you're just not trying to get a spanking from everyone. RaVeN

It can't be your birthday next month. I've checked the calendar and officialy, you've never been born. Now, that's cause enough for a celebration on my part but if you'ld like to point out a particular day of your unbirth, we can all celebrate it together. :D I suggest insted of begging off...

Don't forget to show them to the same cat that you showed my fudge to. ;) RaVeN

I don't think you understand. I was giving you a tease from my upcoming story. How does it feel to be petty and teased? Huh, huh? Why not just send me the hobnobs now and save us both some time? :D RaVeN

Be as petty as you please. There's no way I can lose. I'll take all your hobnobs....and your little dog too. HAHAHAHAHA RaVeN

Thank you Master! You're the inspiration for my putrefication. :o RaVeN

Question: How do you steal the wooden leg off a unique pirate Wabbit? Answer: Unique up on it. :eek: RaVeN

Of course it's unappreciated. It was done by a boring artist in a bored state of mind. The only thing that's not boring is the parrot, and that's because it's dead and can't be blamed for you boriousity. :D Drink up wench, I've a titanium spork that would fit nicely in your small intestine...

Maybe their doom wouldn't be so watery if you'd cut back on the nanas a wee bit. RaVeN

Have you no cannon balls? Why are you taking aim on a ship that's flying a white flag and who has to clean the poopdeck if you hit it? BTW, remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue. :D RaVeN

It was written in 1970, so I doubt it. ;) RaVeN

Purchases this week include: The Distant Echo by Val McDermid 24 Hours by Greg Iles Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon Garden of Beasts by Jeffery Deaver Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Brown I read the last book years ago...