An excerpt from one of my works-in-progress...opinions and suggestions welcomed!!

[odyssea]

thanks! all done.

I can't figure out how to delete the thread, so I'll just wrap it up. thanks for your thoughts and suggestions! they all helped. maybe after i make some changes i'll introduce some more material.

 

[Wabbit]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That's fantastic! MORE, I say! NAY! I demand more!

Thanks for sharing, but you left me hanging and i'm thirsty for more!

 

[odyssea]

lol, thanks! im glad someone likes it. maybe after i've tweaked it a little bit i'll let you read everything leading up to that point. im usually pretty...anal about letting people read or see any of my uncompleted works, but i also need to know how folks respond and what needs to be changed or improved.

 

[Wabbit]

I liked it!

Post more of the story... or the kitten dies.

no animals were harmed during the filming of this post.

 

[Ashlea]

This is very intriguing, but it seems more like an outline. This could be an entire chapter or three. Flesh it out with details, descriptions, and emotions.

Also, if you like pirates, I just finished the Scar and can recommend it as a pirate book like no other.

 

[Litany]

Pirates!!!

 

[True@1stLight]

Decent descriptive writing, but I agree with Ashlea. Too many events whip by to fast to give the reader any sense of the characters or any insight into them or the events taking place. Instead, a significant period of time flashes by in two paragraphs without any real storyline. On the upside, it seems there are a plethora of possibilities with which to expand and extract meaning from the story. Good luck!

WABBIT LEAVE THE KITTY ALONE! You've killed enough kittens from what I hear.

 

[Wabbit]

Nothing can save that kitty now... maa... mmmmHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

 

[bobbyburns]

nothing can rescue my one-eyed cat, bootsie, now from the old stovepipe of my grandmother's cabin. Ha Ha!

 

[Martin]

Why would you want to delete the post, Odyssea?

Cheers