complete brain fart

[evie]

"Okay honey, you're good to go." She smiled. I smiled. It had been painless. "Next appointment in four weeks."

"Okay." I walked fairly happily over to the secretary's desk, signalling my mom in the wait area at the same time. She met me at the desk. "Four weeks", I said to the secretary. She flipped a few pages in her planner, and then it happened.

Pencil poised, she looked up at me..."okay, and your name?"

I stared dumbly. Realizing that I had made no sound, I began to think about it. Damnit, what was my name? Was it...Eva? No, that doesn't sound right...Did it begin with a "K"? A "C"? Nothing was coming to mind. In desperation, I looked over at mother, who was sending me a "what-in-the-hell-did-i-do-wrong-with-you" look, who then bailed me out. "Evie. Her name's Evie. Jesus!"

Anyway, that happened about a month ago, and as I prepare to go back to the orthodontist, I'm worrying about whether or not I'll be able to look that secretary in the face again...and thinking perhaps I should write my name on the back of my hand...

So what's your biggest brain fart ever?

 

[Wabbit]

lol That's funny!

I do that kinda thing all the time or I say something when I mean something else and confuse who I am talking to! I'm a mess lol The problem is my mind is so chaotic and I am always daydreaming of other stuff so when I ask it to attend to reality that's where the problem comes in!

As for the biggest, I don't know

The most recent was I was going to get a train and I asked for a single ticket and then said, no wait, I want a return. That kinds thing is common!

 

[cajunmama]

Hahaha!!! I can identify with both of you. I guess the biggest brain fart was calling a friend's girlfriend by his psycho-ex-wife's name. OOPS!!

Somedays, it seems the hardest thing for me to do is remember my middle two children's birthdates. They are both born in May.

 

[Cathy C]

My father-in-law beats you all. My husband is the youngest of four (3 boys, one girl). Whenever Dad gets distracted, Don (my husband) can get called Bruce or Bob, but seldom his own name.

But recently Dad took the cake and called him Barb IN PUBLIC! Not only switching names ~ but genders! Boy, was he embarrassed when his wife burst out laughing.

 

[The Purple Worm]

Not sure about the biggest but a couple of weeks ago my mum decided to try making a pear and apple crumble because she'd only ever put the fruits in separate crumbles before and as I was eating it she asked me what I thought... So I said "Well if you eat the pear and the apple separately it's kinda like eating them both at the same time". My family and partner just gave me this blank look and started laughing... Truly I don't think I know what I was saying either...

 

[cajunmama]

My father-in-law beats you all. My husband is the youngest of four (3 boys, one girl). Whenever Dad gets distracted, Don (my husband) can get called Bruce or Bob, but seldom his own name.

But recently Dad took the cake and called him Barb IN PUBLIC! Not only switching names ~ but genders! Boy, was he embarrassed when his wife burst out laughing.

That is soooo funny!!! As anyone with more than one child can tell you, sometimes it is nearly impossible to come up wiht the right name for the person you want. We occaisionally have to resort to pointing and "hey you". But gender, now that is a new one...

 

[Rogue]

My Mum does that sometimes too. I'm the second of five kids (3 girls, 2 boys) and sometimes she calls me 2 or 3 other names before she gets the right one. Pretty much enyoing! LOL

 

[novella]

My dad commuted to work early one summer morning, got out of the car and only after several minutes realized he was in his boxer shorts. Shirt, tie, black socks, shiny shoes, no pants.

 

[dele]

I always forget how old I am. Went out to dinner one night and ordered vodka. The waiter looks at me funny as if trying to see if I'm of age yet, and I turned to my boyfriend and asked him how old I was. I just couldn't remember my age.

 

[Crystal]

dele, that is cute.

Spoiler

umm, mine, not sure whether this fit or not.

my friend got a really bad cold, and as i was visiting her, she took her medicine. we were talking, talking and talking, and suddenly, i asked her "shake your body." and without her reply, i shaked her left and right. Because, i thought it'd be better to shake it when taking a pill. anyway, thought i was watching too much cartoon.

 

[Billy Oblivion]

My mam not only went through all my siblings' names (one of whom is female) but I also got Honey and Jumble, the dogs' names. And grandad!
For some reason she never used the cats' names.

 

[Maya]

lol

It happens to me all the time, especially during exams or tests etc.

I remember during a history test, I was stressed out (I always am) and I kept writing and writing and I had a few minutes left and I was at the last question, and went blank, I forgot what "Berlin-wall" is, I know what it is, I forgot what its called, I kept watching the clock and started stamping my foot, and biting my nails, and panicked. (I know it's just a test, but it's afterall me we are talking about)

then I shouted: what is that thing?
Teacher: what thing? you’re not allowed to talk.
Maya: you know, it’s kind of thick, its known. It’s in that country..
Teacher: which country?
Maya: (silence)
(the more I stressed, the more I forgot). The war, that country, the bad one. You know the man, and the jews, and the evil country during war.
Teacher: Germany?
Maya: YESSS, that looong thick thing there, divides the people. In the city in the middle.
Teacher: you need to be a little specific.
Maya: in our book, people sit on it, it divides the city.
Teacher: which city?
Maya: the city in the middle of the country on the map.
Teacher: in Germany.
Maya: YESSSSS, you've said that. The huge city, the thing divided Europe too. East west..
Teacher: the Berlin-wall?
Maya: (scribbling, scribbling, scribbling)

 

[dele]

Exams are the worst times for stupid mistakes! Back in high school my teachers used to make special allowances for me to have a French-English dictionary with me at all times. They were hesitant at first, but after correcting a few papers with the French teachers' help they learned it was for the best. Halfway through an exam my mind would just switch tracks and I'd start writing, midsentence, in French - which is not my native language.

 

[cajunmama]

Exams are the worst times for stupid mistakes! Back in high school my teachers used to make special allowances for me to have a French-English dictionary with me at all times. They were hesitant at first, but after correcting a few papers with the French teachers' help they learned it was for the best. Halfway through an exam my mind would just switch tracks and I'd start writing, midsentence, in French - which is not my native language.

That reminds me of my high school days. I took three years of Spanish in high school, but before that, in another state, I had six years of French. It was not uncommon for me to answer a question in French on my Spanish tests!! Even if it was the correct answer, the teacher would only give me half credit, though.

 

[dele]

Even if it was the correct answer, the teacher would only give me half credit, though.

I always hated those teachers. If the answer is right, it shouldn't matter too much which language it's in, provided it isn't a grammar question.