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GUYS: Do you REALLY mind if the woman

F

fashionprincess

New Member
makes the first move? I was just wondering and I'm not talking about for sex or a meaningless fling. I'm saying if you're friends/acquaintances with the guy you recently met, and you can tell he's attracted to you and you'd like to pursue a real relationship. I've always heard the man would MUCH rather make the first move otherwise "he's just not that into you"--like the book says--but I was just wondering what you all think?

Does the woman come across as desperate if she expresses a genuine interest first. In my experience, I've noticed that when the girl treats the guy like shit (pays him no mind), they can't seem to get enough of her, but if she makes a fuss over him: poof!!... He's gone!! I've started treating the ones I'm kinda into like the guys I'm not interested in (guy friends). There are so many studies and books out there on the subject, but I wanna hear it from the horses mouth ya'll!! What do you guys think about the woman showing interest first? Does it scare you away?
 
Stewart....first laugh of the day...

FashionPrincess, there's a lot to consider here. If you're asking about guys in general minding about a girl making the first physical move I've never met one guy who doesn't find that a wonderful thing. Unless the lady making that first move looks like Margaret Thatcher or Janet Reno..... :eek:

However, if you are talking about a verbal, "commitment oriented" assault on the guy about exclusive dating, moving in with him, getting married and having kids all before you've even had your first kiss then that's a different story. That would have most running for the hills.

Have you ever seen the movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days" or something like that with Goldie Hawn's daughter? Funny, but many things are true in it.
 
Motokid said:
Stewart....first laugh of the day...

FashionPrincess, there's a lot to consider here. If you're asking about guys in general minding about a girl making the first physical move I've never met one guy who doesn't find that a wonderful thing. Unless the lady making that first move looks like Margaret Thatcher or Janet Reno..... :eek:
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Well said, Moto.
 
Stewart said:
Theoretically speaking, does she have big tits?
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Oh I don't know about that, Stewart. If her eyes are pretty enough then the size of her tits may seem less important.
 
Stewart, I’m met girls with eyes more beautiful then any jewel ever found. If you notice the eyes, it might be a long time before you notice anything else.
 
If you're asking about guys in general minding about a girl making the first physical move I've never met one guy who doesn't find that a wonderful thing. Unless the lady making that first move looks like Margaret Thatcher or Janet Reno..... :eek:
Click to expand...

There is more truth in this little paragraph than most of you women realize. Guys just HATE being forced upon. ;)

And Moto, I for one wouldn't knock Reno. Who is your attorney general!?, say her name now #*&^(!, Who is your attorney general!? Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!. :eek: :D
 
Hmmmmm, I think I hijacked the thread. Time to return it to the question for which it was stated. Sorry, fashionprincess.
 
My husband may or may not post an answer for himself, but I will say that when we first met he was an extremely shy person. I made all the first moves. Once he got that confirmation that I wasn't going to reject him, he felt confident enough to help the relationship develop through more stages.
 
Oh, Mari, I'm disappointed. When I saw that you had posted to this thread I thought you were going to slam this how-to-catch-a-man discussion.

I mean, isn't the assumption here that fashionprincess needs advice on how to be a better mantrap?

When, in fact, any decent relationship is based on mutual attraction and trust . . . never mind.
 
Hmm...I didn't look at it that way because I never went through the how-to-capture-a-man phase. I met Eliott early and our mutual attraction and trust developed very fast. There was just the one obstacle of his shyness to get past, and the intiative I had to take to do it seemed relevant to her question. Basically, I didn't have any choice except to make the first move. Didn't think twice about going ahead and doing it; never looked back.

But you're right. I did cringe at her mention of books and studies, and her apparently calculated way of showing or not showing interest. I don't want that to reflect on her; it's our advice-laden culture that may be at fault.
 
My point is really that in practice it cuts both ways: men worry about how to attract the women they want and vice versa. The notion that the woman is bait is a pathetic hangover from the days when women were not legally allowed to own property and therefore had to 'catch' a man in order to survive.
 
fashionprincess said:
I've started treating the ones I'm kinda into like the guys I'm not interested in (guy friends).
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If I understand correctly, you are treating the guys you're into like friends. But that makes the friendship insincere. What are either of you gaining from that?
 
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