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hello i'm published

jenn

New Member
each week in the globe and mail, a national paper here in canada, the reader section has a contest called the challenge. 2 weeks ago the challenge was this,
"imagine a scandal breaking out in any work of prose or poetry and to briefly describe the result"

mine was this: softwood lumber restrictions force local woodworking artisan, Gepetto, to take up glass-blowing.

i didn't win. the winner was this one: autopsy discloses that goliath was actually slain by a second stone, apparently flung from behind a grassy knoll. michael nozick in winnipeg.

this weeks challenge: suggest a remark from a prospective romantic partner that tells you he or she may not be the right one. e.g. "i'd take you to my place but the police are still digging up the basement."

anyone want to take a stab at it?
 
"Do you want to come inside? My husband has just bought a new pair of handcuffs and the dog hasn't had anything to eat for a week."

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have AIDS?"
 
'you know what? i don't think i can go away with you this weekend. it might violate my parole."
 
"You don't mind if I keep my gloves on? I don't want to be leaving any DNA this time"

"I'm so glad you agreed to come out with me, it's ages since I was last laid"

"Did I tell you about the time I was abducted by aliens?"

"Don't tell anyone, but I'm a secret agent for the government"

"You wouldn't happen to have a twin sister who's also free tonight would you?"
 
"I haven't had a chance to try out my new parts since the surgery."

"You know, I have a pet goat."

"Have you ever heard of a snuff film?"

"Is it just me or is Bin Laden just ahead of the game?"

Fun post, Jenn. We'll have to do it more often.
 
hay, that's gross. But brilliant. I love it.

'Oh, the fridge? Nah, they just look like body parts. They're really just chicken.'

ds
 
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