i need a title!!!

[lahondas]

i have a book that i am alomst done with, it has all my poems i written. there are 3 poems i have no titles for, i need them to have a title though, please think of some. thankyou

also... DO NOT STEAL MY POETRY PLEASE! NO COPYING AND PASTING!

heres first peom


sometimes i want to surprise you.
to go out and buy you a gift.
make you appreciate that im yours.

sometimes i want to give you everything,
just to make you feel secure.
but right now all i can give is my love,
but it feels like its not enough anymore.

i wish that a hug could give you money,
a kiss would give islands, and cuddling would give you treasures.

but then youd have everything, and not need anything,
not need me.

then ill have nothing,
and ill be alone without anything.
and youll be on your island,
with your millions and billions,
and your gold and jewels
thinking of me, of how we used to be,
and how much you love me,
and how much you miss me.
now you are rich and wealthy,
but have know one to share it with.
so you let it all go, and you come back to me

and i am so blessed that you came back to me,
that i go out and surprise you with a diamond ring
and ask you to be mine, so that together we have something,
to enjoy and have all the time.
our love for one another is worth more than anything.

 

[lahondas]

heres second poem:

god i pray to you this
let me not brake his heart
let me not run from him
let me keep our love strong
let me love him forever and on

and god i ask you this because
i am not strong enough to do this alone
you have the power to keep our marriage strong
let us always care for one another
and may we be so happy together
that nothing or no one can part us not ever
god i pray to you this
may you bless us with your love
with your word may we be well
thankyou god for your time and your hand
may my prayer be answered when i say amen

 

[lahondas]

third poem:

they lay now alone
with unshown eyes
facing forward for us all to see
barely laying there in such quiet state
looking above with a flat face
their diffrent, so diffrent
nothing changed for them yet
it all stopped when they saw no more

when that day came for you all to hear
that your good [name] had passed away
ofcourse it was hard to take
it was like swallowing a rock to your gut
cutting and burning you as it went down
but once taken in
your minds took over the pain
forcing good memories to come
and you are all thinking of him/her
you wish you knew them better

i know you were not done loving her/him
you never will be
because they are going to be part of you
this day and more
that is why were are here today
to give respect in memory of [name]
may she live long in your thoughts and dreams
and may you all remember her/him at his/her best

 

[Cathy C]

Poem #1 - A Hug to Give you Money
Poem #2 - A Prayer to Bless Our Love
Poem #3 - Not Done Loving You

A couple of quick notes:

You have a few misspelled words that sound alike, but change the meaning, such as "Let me not brake his heart." Brake is to stop (like a car), instead of Break - to hurt or tear apart (but not literally.) It's an interesting image the other way, but probably not how you meant it.

Not sure about the third poem being a "suit to fit". You might be better served to make it generic, by using euphamisms, such as "your darling had passed away", or "give respect in memory of love". This one might be well suited to a sympathy greeting card for Hallmark or the like, and generic is better. If it's only for your poetry book, then don't be afraid to use a name, even if it's not a real one. The reader won't care. But they do relate better if they can apply it to their own lives in one way or another. It can be for lovers, or parents or children or grandparents if it's not so specific.

Hope that helps!

Cathy

 

[Occlith]

1. Other Riches
2. Marriage Invocation
3. They Lay Now Alone

 

[lahondas]

oooh i love "a prayer to bless our love" its perfect thankyou, and your revisions we good, its a first draft, but im glad you pointed them out, especially naming for the last poem, wasnt sure if it was best to use names or not, now i think i will. and occlith, i love the "other riches" title, its perfect too. thank you both!