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Im writing a book (Need some support)

Darie

New Member
Today, everyone gets the fist page of whats gonna be a book published by me. a simple person. Its called "Center of the Universe". Please read and tell me if its worth publishing and has captivated you enough to buy it. Thank you.

Center of the Universe. Sounds good? Well, it definitely sounds good to me as a notion, so why shouldn’t it sound good to you? Many people from all walks of life want to know the answers to certain questions they have, and they are willing to do almost anything for those answers. Why? Because they think that knowing the answer to a question they have regarding a particular problem that haunts them would ultimately solve that problem. That’s where they are making the mistake in the first place. You don’t need to know any answers to anything, you just need to act! What does that mean? Well, why does it matter now, all that matters is the fact that you’re the center of this universe. You are the “middle point” and everything reacts to you. Everything changes based on your decision and every single particle in this galaxy and “thing” we call World revolves around you, in fact , this world would be nothing without you. You are the “decision maker”, important one, the one that chooses your own destiny and future. Make no mistake, this isn’t just about destiny, its actually a little bit more complicated than that. Its about the whole entire history and timeline of this world, that is solely based on your decisions and actions, on your well being or bad being and on your gift of living. You can be of any religion, race or cultural group from this planet, a dominating one or a small unique and almost inexistent to other people eyes’ one, and you are still the center of the universe. This thinking method, is the most successful one and it has been for centuries . It is very similar to the phrase you used to hear from your mother, father, friends, successful people, etc (If you think it, it will happen). Unfortunately that “phrase”, along our history has been changed, has been tampered with, making you believe you don’t have the power or abilities or knowledge required to become as successful as the most successful ones. Our creator made us equal and different at the same time. Think how big of a power is that! How interesting and beautiful. Every human has 2 eyes, 2 legs, 2 arms, in their programming stage but every single one of them is different. Some have diseases that change that commonness, some are born without 2 arms, and some are born with 2 arms but missing a leg. Some are born perfectly fine from a physical point of view but have pshycological problems, and some create them while they live their life. The point where I’m trying to get is that there is also a universal balance. This balancing system is so perfect, we , as the dominating species, don’t even have the ability to understand it. Take this for example : A blind man can hear a number of times better than a normal person, using that to their advantage in order to compensate for their disadvantage. The perfect example that supports this kind of thinking may sound humorous to you but it has been in front of us , each one of us, for centuries , yet we refuse to accept it. Its simple. Babies. We have all been babies. And these “little creations” of our own, have no self destructive behavior (jealousy, fear, insecurity, hate,) and many others that “stick to us as we grow. Basically , we need to get ourselves back to the baby “kind of thinking”. They, act, as if they deserve everything (because they do), as if they have no fears, as if they have no insecurities, and obviously no hate. These are just a few of the examples of how “free” their mindset is. Alongside with growing up, comes a set of these attributes which do nothing more than just slow us down to getting to our goal. There are many books out there that try to change you, based on that particular cultural point of view of good, and try to steer you in a certain direction already “known”. Well, there is one thing you should know, as a human , you have the ability to think at a bigger and faster rate than any other species. It is proven that a big percentage of species have feelings, its not a fact, and the science community has a hard time acknowledging that
 
1. It’s a giant block of text. Breaking things up into paragraphs is much nicer.

2. It’s real sloppy, and breaks a ton of basic writing rules, both grammatically and structure wise.

3. The story itself may be good, which is what really matters. :)
 
Dear Darie,
I beseech you in the name of all that is good and kind and decent and holy and happy and merry and pippin and gamjee, use paragraphs. Please.

Is this book fiction or otherwise?
 
I managed to plow through it. It wanders, offers no new insights, and is full of inconsistencies. It failed to catch my interest in any way. Sorry.

JohnB
 
Center of the Universe. Sounds good? Well, it definitely sounds good to me as a notion, so why shouldn’t it sound good to you? Many people from all walks of life want to know the answers to certain questions they have, and they are willing to do almost anything for those answers. Why? Because they think that knowing the answer to a question they have regarding a particular problem that haunts them would ultimately solve that problem. That’s where they are making the mistake in the first place. You don’t need to know any answers to anything, you just need to act! What does that mean? Well, why does it matter now, all that matters is the fact that you’re the center of this universe. You are the “middle point” and everything reacts to you. Everything changes based on your decision and every single particle in this galaxy and “thing” we call World revolves around you, in fact , this world would be nothing without you. You are the “decision maker”, important one, the one that chooses your own destiny and future.

As I am the centre of the universe I shall now act! I have made a decision not to read your book.
 
It's a little difficult without paragraphs.
With paragraphs, people might be able to see your actual message.
And then agree or disagree with that.
:flowers:
 
Darie, I have to basically agree with the input you have gotten from the others. you lost me after the first few sentences, it goes on too long. hope the input you are getting helps you.
 
A few pointers

Yeah, it needs work, but that doesn't mean that you suck--what it does mean is that you need to do some work to get to where you want to be. The following are some good self-improvement writing resources that I have personally found useful (for what it's worth):

How to Write Great Sentences. This is one of The Great Courses from The Teaching Company (search online for them; once you order once they'll start sending you catalouges in the mail).

Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing. (on Amazon; her other books also look good but I haven't used them personally).

Dr. Leonardo Noto

leonardonoto.com | Physician, Paratrooper, Boxer/Grappler Turned Grumpy Old Writer! (nonfiction book reviews) or follow me on Twitter @DrLeonardoNoto (medical tweets).
 
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