Joke Of The Day!

[Madeline]

Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"​

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.​

​

 

[Madeline]

Promulgating Your Esoteric Cogitation

In promulgating your esoteric cogitation or articulating your superficial sentimentalities, and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity.

Let your conversational communications possess a compacted conciseness, a clarified comprehensibility, a coalescent cogency, and a concatenated consistency.

Eschew obfuscation and all conglomeration of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement, and asinine affectations.

Let your extemporaneous descanting and unpremeditated expatiation have intelligibility and voracious vivacity without rodomontade or thrasonical bombast.

Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolificacy, and vain vapid verbosity.

In short: "Be brief and don't use big words."

 

[Madeline]

An Ususual Paragraph​

This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching! Answer: (scroll down)











































The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.

 

[Madeline]

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

 

[Madeline]

The Pope
-------------------------

After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he
doesn't travel light), the driver in New York City
notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse a-me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please-a
take-a your seat so we can-a leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive
at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm-a sorry but I cannot-a let you do that. I'd-a lose-a my job!
And what if-a something should-a happen?" protests the driver, wishing
he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you, "says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind
the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting
the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please a- slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but
the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm-a gonna lose a my licence," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,
but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and
gets on the radio.

"I need-a to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a
limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't a think we wanna do that, he's a-really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"

"No, I mean a really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "President?"

Cop: "Bigger"

"Bigger than the President? - ridiculous," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!!"