Julie Kenner: Carpe Demon

[mehastings]

The Barnes & Noble Review
Kate Connor used to be a demon hunter: Now she's a stay-at-home mom, a "glorified chauffeur for pep squad practice and Gymboree play dates." But when a demonic assassin shows up at her suburban home minutes before an important dinner party, the retired Hunter is forced back into action to save her town -- and her freshly baked mini-quiches -- from the invading fiend and his army of the undead.

Kate's husband and her two kids don't know anything about her demon-killing past -- and she wants to keep it that way. So while doing what supermoms do -- raising an inquisitive two-year old, dealing with a teenage girl's myriad of social issues, supporting an overworked husband running for county attorney, etc. -- Kate also finds time to unravel the mystery behind the sudden ghoulish invasion. It seems a master demon named Goramesh has come to town in search of an invaluable religious artifact secreted in a much-storied cathedral. But in order to obtain the relic, Goramesh must first find a suitable human subordinate…

The character of Kate Connor is an appealing mélange of Laurell K. Hamilton's sexy, butt-kicking vampire executioner Anita Blake, Sex and the City's super-cool column writer Carrie Bradshaw, and the women of ABC's Desperate Housewives, whose lives revolve around domestic intrigues like potty training, teenage curfews, PTA meetings, bake sales, neighborhood gossip -- and scandalous secrets. Fast-paced and strikingly clever, this lighthearted romp through suburbia will appeal to romance, mystery, and fantasy fans alike.

OK. I would like to start off by defending myself. I didn't buy this book new. I got it at a second hand shop that was having a yard sale (or I guess sidewalk sale). I got it on the cheap, along with the sequel. Then, I forgot about it until I started clearing out books that I wouldn't consider part of my permanent collection.

So, anyway, on to my opinion. Don't buy this book. Don't even get it from the library. Pretend that it doesn't exist. The main idea is that Kate was a demon hunter in her youth, but has been retired for fifteen years, until the demons infiltrate her perfect suburban life. Although she wants nothing to do with hunting, she gets back in the action out of fear for her children. The plot on its own isn't enough to hold a book together, but with good character development and quality writing, it would have been worth a speedy mass market sweep of grocery stores and airport shops. It wasn't. The characters were so idiotic and flat that they were impossible to connect with on any level. The writing was far too conversational and filled with stupid remarks that are supposed to be witty, but just sound lame to me. A fantastic example being:

Well, what the heck. I was a woman of the new Millennium. I'd staked vampires, defeated demons, and incapacitated incubi. How hard could a last-minute dinner party be?

It just makes me wish we had the little poop icon available here. It would seem that the folks at Warner Brothers feel differently as they have optioned Crappy Demon. Anyway, I suggest this book to people who think Harlequins are great. After looking at the author's website it would seem that the majority of her books are numbered. Plus, just to show that she isn't just a lousy writer, but also a lousy reader, she suggests that stupid Confessions of Super Mom book. Remember...the "swiffer generation"?

 

[abecedarian]

You summed up my experience with Carpe Demon pretty well! Talk about silly..And mind you, I have nothing against silly if done well. This was just dumb. like pigging out on cotton candy instead of holding out for Dove chocolate.

 

[Occlith]

Wow, that book sounds like crap.

It just makes me wish we had the little poop icon available here.

Okay, I guess it is.
I'm not about about to waste my time creating a poop icon, instead I've wasted my time searching for a poop icon (that wasn't too gross) and posting it here.

Mehastings, Carpe Demon aka Crape Demon, earns a 5 out of 5 poop rating.

 

[mehastings]

Wow, that book sounds like crap.

Pretty much. I'm going to save that poop icon. I still have the sequel kicking around here!

 

[mehastings]

OK, OK....I admit it. I read the sequel. I just wanted to get rid of it and for some reason felt guilty about doing it without at least trying it (I have a whole box of harlequins gathering dust in a closet because I feel guilty getting rid of them without reading them).

It was better...not good...just better. I still wouldn't suggest it to anyone reading above a fifth grade level though.

 

[Occlith]

You're a glutton for punishment. What poop rating would you give the sequel?

(I have a whole box of harlequins gathering dust in a closet because I feel guilty getting rid of them without reading them).

Love yourself and do the right thing; toss them in the rubbish bin. Harlequin is the guilty party for publishing them.

 

[mehastings]

You're a glutton for punishment. What poop rating would you give the sequel?

Love yourself and do the right thing; toss them in the rubbish bin. Harlequin is the guilty party for publishing them.

I give it just one

. It wasn't that bad.

I actually know someone who might want the trashy romances. Her evil hag grandmother likes to read them. I should check on that.