Let-it-free

[V.D.]

What you guys think about this poem? Any suggestions are invited and appreciated

Let-it-free
--------------
I want to tell my life story.
It is like a flooded quarry,
full of stones, full of gold,
few moments new, few moments old.

I just wish to design it in words
and let them fly like free birds.
But they are trapped, trapped in a coop
eager to come out giving the war whoop.

It is all buried deep down inside me,
with emotions of a silent sea.
And I am just lost, thinking
how to let-it-free, let-it-free
let-it-free.

 

[Leonardo Noto]

What you guys think about this poem? Any suggestions are invited and appreciated

Let-it-free
--------------
I want to tell my life story.
It is like a flooded quarry,
full of stones, full of gold,
few moments new, few moments old.

I just wish to design it in words
and let them fly like free birds.
But they are trapped, trapped in a coop
eager to come out giving the war whoop.

It is all buried deep down inside me,
with emotions of a silent sea.
And I am just lost, thinking
how to let-it-free, let-it-free
let-it-free.

I like it. Here are a few minor edits, for what they're worth (which may not be much--I write prose).

To tell my life story,
like a flooded quarry;
full of stones, full of gold,
few moments new, few moments old.

To outline it in words,
let them fly free like birds.
But trapped they are, trapped in a coop,
eager to break out with a whoop.

Buried deep inside of me,
emotions of a silent sea.
Lost and harking,
let it free, let it free.