Motokid
New Member
For the first time in my life I can’t wish my mom Happy Mother’s Day. She died at the end of June last year of Hodgkin’s Disease. Cancer of the lymphatic system.
On Mother’s day last year we still had hope. She was sick, and the latest round of treatment/chemo had not gone very well, but we still had hope.
Even a few weeks later, on my birthday to be exact, when her doctor told us that there was really nothing else that could be done, other than make my mother as comfortable as possible, we still knew that she would be around for a while. I mean, this was my mother we were talking about.
My Dad died when I was 17 years old. That was back in 1980. My mother never dated anybody, or ever really expressed any desire to get involved in any kind of relationship after my father died. She lived in the same house my parents bought, by herself for the rest of her life. She was happy there. If she was ever lonely she never let on to either my sister, or myself. I lived only 20 minutes away. So we saw each other often. Had dinner at her house or at my place regularly. She would baby sit my daughters. We had a good thing going. We would vacation every year together. Mom would rent the house. We would drive her there, meet my sister and her boys, and spend a week on the beach together. It was this way for many, many years. Most holidays were spent at my mothers house. She was a great cook.
But less than one month after my birthday last year. Less than one month after hearing that there was no way to defeat the cancer that was lurking in my mothers body. About a month and a half after Mothers Day. She died. I thought I could get through today without becoming emotional. I thought I had enough control to keep it all together. I thought wrong. I went to bed last night after mid-night. Technically it was Mothers Day. In the dark and quiet, I reflected to last year a bit, and that was all it took.
Goddamn it...I really miss you Mom.
On Mother’s day last year we still had hope. She was sick, and the latest round of treatment/chemo had not gone very well, but we still had hope.
Even a few weeks later, on my birthday to be exact, when her doctor told us that there was really nothing else that could be done, other than make my mother as comfortable as possible, we still knew that she would be around for a while. I mean, this was my mother we were talking about.
My Dad died when I was 17 years old. That was back in 1980. My mother never dated anybody, or ever really expressed any desire to get involved in any kind of relationship after my father died. She lived in the same house my parents bought, by herself for the rest of her life. She was happy there. If she was ever lonely she never let on to either my sister, or myself. I lived only 20 minutes away. So we saw each other often. Had dinner at her house or at my place regularly. She would baby sit my daughters. We had a good thing going. We would vacation every year together. Mom would rent the house. We would drive her there, meet my sister and her boys, and spend a week on the beach together. It was this way for many, many years. Most holidays were spent at my mothers house. She was a great cook.
But less than one month after my birthday last year. Less than one month after hearing that there was no way to defeat the cancer that was lurking in my mothers body. About a month and a half after Mothers Day. She died. I thought I could get through today without becoming emotional. I thought I had enough control to keep it all together. I thought wrong. I went to bed last night after mid-night. Technically it was Mothers Day. In the dark and quiet, I reflected to last year a bit, and that was all it took.
Goddamn it...I really miss you Mom.
