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Mother forces daughter to wear sign

Motokid

Motokid

New Member
http://www.cnn.com/2005/EDUCATION/11/16/girl.on.corner.ap/index.html

Child abuse? Psychological abuse? Tough love? Alternative parenting? Humiliation tactics? Taking things too far?

You make the call.

Personally, I think people need to lighten up. This mother felt "drastic action" was needed and she stepped up. It might be a bit unorthodox, but if it helped to motivate her child to stop f'n off in class, and straighten out a bit, I say more power to her. I'm sick of reading about how damaging something like this "could" be. We're all turning into a bunch of pansies. This mother reacted in a way that she thought was best for her child. If it worked that's great. So far it appears it did work. Nobody got hurt, and who cares if the child was humiliated for a short period of time. That small bit of humiliation could ahve been just the wake-up call she needed to get her life on track.
 
As a mom with teens, I can sure identify with this mom's frustration. I know that each child is a whole different creature, and what might work with most others, will not necessarily work with the child causing the problem at any given moment. It sounds like this mom was already taking more traditional steps to motivate her daughter to improve her grades and behavior, and the daughter was still not taking mom seriously. It sounds like the passersby were harmed more than the girl. These people are not responsible for this child; her mother is. I can understand why strangers might call the authorities, since they had no way of knowing what was going on. This mom was standing right with the daughter. She was in no physical danger, and any potential emotional damage was lessened because the mother was right there. It would have been nearly as humiliating to the mom..
 
Personally, I think people need to lighten up. This mother felt "drastic action" was needed and she stepped up. It might be a bit unorthodox, but if it helped to motivate her child to stop f'n off in class, and straighten out a bit, I say more power to her. I'm sick of reading about how damaging something like this "could" be. We're all turning into a bunch of pansies. This mother reacted in a way that she thought was best for her child. If it worked that's great. So far it appears it did work. Nobody got hurt, and who cares if the child was humiliated for a short period of time. That small bit of humiliation could ahve been just the wake-up call she needed to get her life on track.
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Amen!, I'm personally getting tired of the culture of constant praise, even if what you are praising them for is insignificant. At that age, you can't infer things, you have to directly and matter of factly state what the facts are, even if they don't like it. If you don't, they will just play the situation out to their advantage. Kudos to the mom for not putting up with the daughter's excuses.:cool:
 
Yeah, this mom should be applauded for dealing with her daughter's problem at the source instead of running down to the school to rant and rave against the teachers and faculty for not being more effective..I know that schools and teachers are sometimes at fault, but far too often parents fly off the handle and blame the wrong people for their children's shortcomings. This mom is wise.
 
I agree with the psychologist at the end of the article. Positive reenforcement always works better than punishment.
If that girl was as bad as that mother made her out to be, that girl wouldn't have even been out there on that road holding that sign.
I also sypathize with the child because she's a girl. I think it's obvious that she needs to build up her self esteem and feel like she has a purpose rather than have her put on the side of the road like a bum.
 
I say Good for Mom! As moto said, we're becoming pansies. We're raising a generation of spoiled, rebellious kids that are told they don't have to take responsibility for their actions. If this girl is THAT traumatised by holding the sign (the article said her behavior improved over the following week and a half) she needed help long before that incident.

Also, I liked what mom put on the placard, that the girl would work for food saying this prepared her for here future without education. Fantastic!
 
Tattoos. They should have tattoos put on their foreheads if they misbehave too much.

No.

Not really.
 
Can you say reality check? Better this than a more serious one that can't be reversed. This is a parent that actually cares about her child's performance in school. Taking away priveleges apparently didn't work. Sometimes you need to walk smack into a pole in front of a crowd of people and get laughed at to learn to watch where you are going.
 
lovermuffin said:
I agree with the psychologist at the end of the article. Positive reenforcement always works better than punishment.
If that girl was as bad as that mother made her out to be, that girl wouldn't have even been out there on that road holding that sign.
I also sypathize with the child because she's a girl. I think it's obvious that she needs to build up her self esteem and feel like she has a purpose rather than have her put on the side of the road like a bum.
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Nothing wrong with positive reinforcement. It's a great thing, and everybody needs, and deserves a pat on the back when they do good.

However, some seem to forget that it's important to teach that there are negative consequences for negative actions.

This child was talking back to teachers, consistantly late to class, and did not do her homework. Overlooking extremely poor behavior like that is doing that child, the school, the teachers, the other students, and society in general a dis-service. You can not constantly reward good behavior and overlook bad behavior. Reward without punishment does not help anyone.
 
I couldnt do what this women did to her daughter,but i can understand where shes coming from!

I find with my daughters when they wont behave i take stuff off them as in pocket money,there tvs out of there rooms and i wont let them go out to play with there friends!
This gets to my girls and they do say sorry for what they have done and they draw the line and start to behave themselfs!
 
I just read an article about this in the newspaper! I thought it was a hoot and kudos to the mom for thinking of it. That gave the kid a taste of what life would be like if she flunked school. Let's just hope that the lesson stuck.

I agree people need to lighten up-I wonder what kind of people called the police? The kind of people who think that anything remotely negative is child abuse?
 
"The trick is to catch them being good," he said.
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In other words, the good behaviour that we expect of everyone is to be rewarded. This means that we'll be raising children who will be expecting pay-rises whenever they do their job. The job they're already paid to do. No, I believe that only exceptionally positive behaviour should be awarded, and common good behaviour should be repaid with what's normal - namely a hug, a kiss, a thanks, whatever. If we raise our kids with rewards for everything they do as they're told we'll end up at a point where we can't get them to shut up in the movies without bribing them with 5 lbs of chocolate, is this what we want? No. I see kids like this at times. Their mothers have huge problems with them and can't for the life of them get the kids to do whatever they want them to without bribing with soda or a burger.

Pity, really a pity. Whatever will those kids do when they get real jobs?
 
Jemima Aslana said:
In other words, the good behaviour that we expect of everyone is to be rewarded. This means that we'll be raising children who will be expecting pay-rises whenever they do their job. The job they're already paid to do. No, I believe that only exceptionally positive behaviour should be awarded, and common good behaviour should be repaid with what's normal - namely a hug, a kiss, a thanks, whatever. If we raise our kids with rewards for everything they do as they're told we'll end up at a point where we can't get them to shut up in the movies without bribing them with 5 lbs of chocolate, is this what we want? No. I see kids like this at times. Their mothers have huge problems with them and can't for the life of them get the kids to do whatever they want them to without bribing with soda or a burger.

Pity, really a pity. Whatever will those kids do when they get real jobs?
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And volunteerism will die a slow, painful death..everyone will expect to be paid for showing kindness. I'm seeing signs of that now, with a family I know that have kids who have formed a (very mediocre) bluegrass band. They expect to be paid for some performances, such as church functions like last years Ladies' Retreat. Everyone else who was involved volunteered their services, but I found out that these kids were paid..This year I was on planning committee, and two of my kids played for free-as they should have. Another kid played, also for free. I think something's wrong when kids are taught to look at every situation and ask, "what's in it for me."
 
I think it's really funny actually. Not that the kid is bad in school, but that the mom makes her stand out on the road with that sign.
 
I'm sure the message could've been delivered to the girl in a less public and humiliating way.
 
It sounds like the mother tried that. The girl was not allowed to play sports for one thing. My guess is the mother was at her wits end and this was a last ditch effort. Sounds like it worked to....
 
The mother still seems a bit messed up, and the girl needs some higher self esteem and motivation.
That's my view and I'm stickin' to it.
 
That's the point-they tried motivating her by not letting her play sports till she brought her grades up. That didn't work, and I bet that was their ace card, then they ran out of ideas. I was wondering if there were underlying problems (that the parents are unaware of) that a few visits to a therapist couldn't work out.

Self-esteem? Hah. I'd say there are very few 14-years olds with high self-esteem. Puberty, zits, awkwardness, etc. are hard to deal with.
 
lovermuffin said:
The mother still seems a bit messed up, and the girl needs some higher self esteem and motivation.
That's my view and I'm stickin' to it.
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Yeah, the woman isn't a PH.D. in physics or anything, she even admits that in the article. Usually, drastic measures are taken in response to lax/permissive parenting. It all could have been avoided had she had her act together when the child was much younger-and still can, though if the kid curses and is loud, nine times out of ten, she learned it from her mother.:rolleyes:
 
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