XxRockinTheMxX
kickbox
I do this writing exercise where I randomly choose 3 words out of a dictionary, and write whatever comes to mind for a set limit of time. Later, I go back and try to edit and rewrite some. These aren't even complete stories, just fragments, but I would still really like some feedback to improve my writing! Thanx so much.
nowadays
reservoir
channel
Nowdays it’s all I can do to keep him out of my head. Constantly, thoughts of him barrage my mind, forcing me to relive those last moments: a fragment of a laugh, a partly remembered conversation, the edge of a smile.
It’s like there’s this fathoms-deep reservoir in my head, filled to the brim with memories of him: lately my mind has been like an old black and white TV, flipping from memory to memory to memory, and I can’t seem to find the remote. The channels keep turning and turning and turning. A cold day in the park, frosty breath, wearing his coat. The smooth feel of his skin, smelling of Old Spice. A dark room, sweet sighs. An impromptu joke, in the middle of the street, in the kitchen, laughing at the lake, in the driveway, on the stairs.
ablaze
saleswoman
bond
The night sky glowed a livid orange above the small suburban home. Its quaintly shuttered windows were blown outward by the force of a fiercely burning fire. The flowered wallpaper wilted, scorched, burned, finally succumbed to the greedy flames. Small bottles of nail polish, heated to unbearable temperatures, exploded in envious green. Beautiful glass chandeliers swayed over giant precipices, hanging on by only a thin cord, then plummeted, gems shattering in a dying rainbow on peeling and burnt tile floors. Carpets quickly caught fire, roaring ablaze, burning a fiery trail through the hallways, into the rooms, up the curtains, bursting through the window panes, disintegrating the painted wooden frames.
The fire blazed for what seemed like an eternity, the night simply darkness leading to more darkness while the only sound piercing the silence was the roaring of the flame, and the house screaming.
snow
coffee
pepper
The fire at the hearth roared as James and Kate huddled even closer on the small corduroy couch. They were both cold, however, in a way that the fire couldn’t dissipate. Kate hands entwined with James’, clutching his fingers for warmth that she knew the fire could not give. James pulled Kate closer, even though he knew that he would have to let her go soon. He reluctantly gave the clock over the fire a glance, and then, with equal hesitance, gently disentangled his fingers from Kate’s.
“Is it time?”
Her question was quiet, yet James heard the tears in her voice, felt them tug sharply at his heart.
He gently took her hands in his, and, rising, pulled her to her feet, holding her close, smelling the familiar scent of lavender in her hair, and feeling her soft, smooth skin.
“I love you.”
He didn’t need to say it: they had surpassed that long ago. But he knew that she needed to hear it.
“I love you too,” she whispered, her voice cracking pitifully.
Any second now Kate was going to cry: he could feel it.
“Kate, don’t -,” he started, but Kate erupted into sobs, piercing the silence with her grief. James was surprised by the sudden outburst: Kate was not given to such loud displays of emotion. She was tough, and when she cried, she cried silently, as if hiding she were ashamed of her tears. James’ disbelief waned, however, when Kate began to gather herself, and her sobs began to abate.
“You - can’t - go,” she pleaded between diminishing gasps, “What - about - us?”
She paused, drawing herself up, wiping away her sudden tears, quieting her sobs.
“Kate, you know I would stay if -”
“If - what?” she demanded, tears now mostly subsided, and eyes fiery with hurt, and anger. “You said for - ever.You didn’t - say if. When you - gave me - this ring-,” she said, stopping to angrily pull the promise ring from her finger, “you said - forever. You never should have said it if you didn’t - mean it,” she accused quietly.
“You know I meant it. Don’t you dare throw that in my face, Katherine. I tried. I wanted forever. You know that. I wanted everything that forever could give us. I want forever, Kate, and I want you.”
He took hold of her hands again, tenderly taking the ring from her palm, and placing it back on her finger.
Kate watched him warily, jerking reflexively when he ran his fingers through her hair.
“I’m sorry, Katherine.”
She eyed him cautiously, then queried,”For what?”
James looked her straight in her eyes, reached for his suitcases with both hands, stood up to his full height, and whispered sadly, a split second before turning to leave, “For breaking your heart.”
nowadays
reservoir
channel
Nowdays it’s all I can do to keep him out of my head. Constantly, thoughts of him barrage my mind, forcing me to relive those last moments: a fragment of a laugh, a partly remembered conversation, the edge of a smile.
It’s like there’s this fathoms-deep reservoir in my head, filled to the brim with memories of him: lately my mind has been like an old black and white TV, flipping from memory to memory to memory, and I can’t seem to find the remote. The channels keep turning and turning and turning. A cold day in the park, frosty breath, wearing his coat. The smooth feel of his skin, smelling of Old Spice. A dark room, sweet sighs. An impromptu joke, in the middle of the street, in the kitchen, laughing at the lake, in the driveway, on the stairs.
ablaze
saleswoman
bond
The night sky glowed a livid orange above the small suburban home. Its quaintly shuttered windows were blown outward by the force of a fiercely burning fire. The flowered wallpaper wilted, scorched, burned, finally succumbed to the greedy flames. Small bottles of nail polish, heated to unbearable temperatures, exploded in envious green. Beautiful glass chandeliers swayed over giant precipices, hanging on by only a thin cord, then plummeted, gems shattering in a dying rainbow on peeling and burnt tile floors. Carpets quickly caught fire, roaring ablaze, burning a fiery trail through the hallways, into the rooms, up the curtains, bursting through the window panes, disintegrating the painted wooden frames.
The fire blazed for what seemed like an eternity, the night simply darkness leading to more darkness while the only sound piercing the silence was the roaring of the flame, and the house screaming.
snow
coffee
pepper
The fire at the hearth roared as James and Kate huddled even closer on the small corduroy couch. They were both cold, however, in a way that the fire couldn’t dissipate. Kate hands entwined with James’, clutching his fingers for warmth that she knew the fire could not give. James pulled Kate closer, even though he knew that he would have to let her go soon. He reluctantly gave the clock over the fire a glance, and then, with equal hesitance, gently disentangled his fingers from Kate’s.
“Is it time?”
Her question was quiet, yet James heard the tears in her voice, felt them tug sharply at his heart.
He gently took her hands in his, and, rising, pulled her to her feet, holding her close, smelling the familiar scent of lavender in her hair, and feeling her soft, smooth skin.
“I love you.”
He didn’t need to say it: they had surpassed that long ago. But he knew that she needed to hear it.
“I love you too,” she whispered, her voice cracking pitifully.
Any second now Kate was going to cry: he could feel it.
“Kate, don’t -,” he started, but Kate erupted into sobs, piercing the silence with her grief. James was surprised by the sudden outburst: Kate was not given to such loud displays of emotion. She was tough, and when she cried, she cried silently, as if hiding she were ashamed of her tears. James’ disbelief waned, however, when Kate began to gather herself, and her sobs began to abate.
“You - can’t - go,” she pleaded between diminishing gasps, “What - about - us?”
She paused, drawing herself up, wiping away her sudden tears, quieting her sobs.
“Kate, you know I would stay if -”
“If - what?” she demanded, tears now mostly subsided, and eyes fiery with hurt, and anger. “You said for - ever.You didn’t - say if. When you - gave me - this ring-,” she said, stopping to angrily pull the promise ring from her finger, “you said - forever. You never should have said it if you didn’t - mean it,” she accused quietly.
“You know I meant it. Don’t you dare throw that in my face, Katherine. I tried. I wanted forever. You know that. I wanted everything that forever could give us. I want forever, Kate, and I want you.”
He took hold of her hands again, tenderly taking the ring from her palm, and placing it back on her finger.
Kate watched him warily, jerking reflexively when he ran his fingers through her hair.
“I’m sorry, Katherine.”
She eyed him cautiously, then queried,”For what?”
James looked her straight in her eyes, reached for his suitcases with both hands, stood up to his full height, and whispered sadly, a split second before turning to leave, “For breaking your heart.”