StillILearn
New Member
I've been working on this one for a while, but I keep finding myself coming back to this beginning and trying to make it more concise. I think I've lost my ability to see the words with any objectivity. Suggestions will be gratefully appreciated. I keep removing and replacing the same damn words! (Sometimes I just move them around and then I put them back where they were in the first place)
Here it is:
"Things may be going well for you one day, then something happens and you are destroyed. This is the way life is. Remember it can happen to you, too!" (Kumeyaay Ceremonial Mourning Song)
The word Aashaa means Mockingbird in Ipaii
PART ONE - AASHAA
Two hundred years before Emma’s birth, Mockingbird (had) inflicted the knowledge of the impending fate of their people upon Emma’s ancestor. Aashaa strove to refuse the knowing, but Mockingbird would not allow this, relentlessly tormenting the young shaman with (his) terrifying visions.
The worst dream was one in which Aashaa had at first been allowed to experience great happiness. Within sight of the place where his people were camped, waist-deep in the sparkling sea, feet braced far apart to keep from being tugged free by the swirling waves, Aashaa was using his strong stone knife to pry a huge abalone from its place in the crevice of a submerged boulder. Aashaa clung to this rock with one strong hand while with his knife he broke the grasp of his quarry. Victorious, he was glancing down to tuck his prize deep within the leather pouch at his hip, when he was nearly felled by a vicious blow to his left shoulder, a blow like that of an enemy spear.
Straight down, from out of the blue of the afternoon sky, it was Mockingbird that had struck him, cruel Mockingbird -- falling straight and landing hard -- sharp black talons entering warm brown flesh.
Here it is:
"Things may be going well for you one day, then something happens and you are destroyed. This is the way life is. Remember it can happen to you, too!" (Kumeyaay Ceremonial Mourning Song)
The word Aashaa means Mockingbird in Ipaii
PART ONE - AASHAA
Two hundred years before Emma’s birth, Mockingbird (had) inflicted the knowledge of the impending fate of their people upon Emma’s ancestor. Aashaa strove to refuse the knowing, but Mockingbird would not allow this, relentlessly tormenting the young shaman with (his) terrifying visions.
The worst dream was one in which Aashaa had at first been allowed to experience great happiness. Within sight of the place where his people were camped, waist-deep in the sparkling sea, feet braced far apart to keep from being tugged free by the swirling waves, Aashaa was using his strong stone knife to pry a huge abalone from its place in the crevice of a submerged boulder. Aashaa clung to this rock with one strong hand while with his knife he broke the grasp of his quarry. Victorious, he was glancing down to tuck his prize deep within the leather pouch at his hip, when he was nearly felled by a vicious blow to his left shoulder, a blow like that of an enemy spear.
Straight down, from out of the blue of the afternoon sky, it was Mockingbird that had struck him, cruel Mockingbird -- falling straight and landing hard -- sharp black talons entering warm brown flesh.
