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Parents Need To Watch This Feb 4th, 2006 - MySpace

Motokid

New Member
Parents Need To Watch This Feb 4th, 2006 - Myspace.com

Primetime NBC - clicky here

Check your local listings for times. If you have kids and they "play" on the internet, both parents and kids should watch this show. Put a face on internet predators who search for kids just like yours.

You'll be surprised to learn who some of these guys are.
This is fear factor for parents.
 
We have 5 computers in the house, three are internet accessible. One is in the room shared by our 22 and 21 year old dds. The other kids are not allowed to use that computer or face the wrath of territorial (and mean) big sisters. The other two are in the master bedroom, and require permission to be used. The kids know we're watching where they're going and who they are talking to. In most cases they're talking to people I know personally. Computer privacy is severely limited here. The kids under 16 are just not encouraged to surf the net without one of us in the same room.
 
Don't know if anybody saw this. My whole family watched. 50 guys in three days all got arrested in this sting operation and filmed. Teachers, law enforcement, grandad's, kids, and a few registered sex offenders all got nabbed.

One of the best take-aways from it was that my kids did not consider Myspace.com to be a "chat room" which is where all this stuff started for these creeps.

My victory was that Myspace.com was mentioned specifically, and many times as part of the problem.

One guy had been arrested only 4 months earlier and was out of jail on probation. The system really works so well doesn't it?

One guy drove past the house as another guy was being arrested and handcuffed in the driveway. He circled around, and waited. Called the decoy and was told the person being arrested was a neighbor getting busted for drunk driving. The guy waited for the cops to leave and then proceeded to come into the house. Busted.

The other good takeaway for other parents was this is not a danger simply for girls. Many of the guys arrested were there seeking to hook up with a 12 or 13 year old boy. Including the over 60 year old grandpa looking guy. :mad:
 
Or is this just a lot of paranoia on the part of parents? :confused: (In other words, have I just been rereading Lolita too much?) :rolleyes:

I've posted some (sample) rebuttals down @ the bottom of this looooong quote.)


It's a social networking sites — sort of a cyber combination of a yearbook, personal diary and social club. The biggest of them is MySpace.com. With more than 50 million members, its one of the fastest growing Web sites in the country.

Shannon Sullivan, teenager: Everyone has a MySpace and everyone wants a My Space. It’s free, easy to join, and easy to message its members. Kids chat about everything from school, to sports, to fundraisers for Katrina victims. It all seems like innocent fun, and it can be. But many parents and teens are unaware there are hidden dangers.

Shannon Sullivan: I honestly just thought it was my friends looking at it Which is why Shannon disclosed so much on her space. She put her name, her address, and where she went to school— everything about how to find Shannon was on that site.

Rob Stafford, Dateline correspondent: Were you worried about doing that?Shannon Sullivan: I didn’t think twice about it. Shannon did think twice about something else: The rules on my space say you’re supposed to be at least 14 years old.

Stafford: How old did you say you were?Shannon Sullivan: I think it was 18.Stafford: You think it was 18?Sullivan: I was 13 at the time. Shannon’s mother Margaret happens to run the computer system at a private grammar school. She has parental controls on her home computer, and several months ago, MySpace popped up on one of the reports Margaret gets on the Web sites Shannon has visited.

Margaret Sullivan: I was just very upset. Somebody looking for a kid could find a kid very easily.Stafford: Had you ever heard of it?Margaret Sullivan: No. She was stunned by what Shannon revealed and found the sites of other kids far more revealing.

Margaret Sullivan: I found all kinds of pictures of kids in revealing positions, and pictures of kids scantily dressed. It’s a cyber secret teenagers keep from tech-challenged parents who are not as savvy as Margaret. It’s a world where the kids next door can play any role they want. They may not realize everyone with Internet access, including sexual predators, may see the pictures and personal information they post.

When “Dateline” surfed MySpace, we found scenes of binge drinking, apparent drug use, teens posing in underwear, and other members simulating sex, and in some cases even having it. We also found less provocative pages like Shannon’s was, but potentially even more dangerous. Teens listed not only their names, and addresses, but even cell phone numbers and after school schedules.

Parry Aftab, Internet lawyer and safety expert: [It’s] one stop shopping for sexual predators, and they can shop by catalogue. Internet lawyer Parry Aftab started the Web site wiredsafety.org, and her safety tips appear on MySpace.com.

Stafford: Do parents have any idea what some kids are posting on these sites?Aftab: Parents are clueless. They’re caught like deer in the headlights. Aftab educates parents and kids about the dangers lurking on the Web.

Aftab: Pedophiles are using all of the social networking sites. And every other anonymous Internet technology to find kids. The social networking sites are where kids are. Aftab says even kids who don’t list their name and address can provide enough personal information— such as the kinds of bands and boys they love— for a pedophile to use to con their way into their lives.

Aftab: If someone knows you "like pina coladas and walks in the rain," it’s very easy online to be exactly what it is you’re looking for— to be your “soul mate.”Stafford: Who might happen to be a 40 year old predator?Aftab: Absolutely. The teens just don’t get it. To them, they’re talking to a computer monitor.They’re playing in an area where they don’t recognize the consequences. In the last month, authorities have charged at least three men with sexually assaulting teenagers they found through MySpace.com and just this week police found a missing 15-year-old girl who investigators say was sexually assaulted by a 26-year-old man she met through the site. MySpace members are now warning each other about the danger of sharing information online.

Aftab says parents need to find out what their kids are sharing.

Aftab: Say to your kids, “I’d like to see your profile page tomorrow.” It’s important that you give them a day to clean up their page. That will be the last time you give them warning. Then Aftab says look at their site: Are the pictures provocative? Their profiles too detailed? Who are they talking to? And perhaps most important— have they kept their profiles private, protected by a password, to keep strangers out?

MySpace.com would not agree to an on-camera interview but did tell “Dateline” via e-mail that it prohibits posting personal information and has a team that searches for and removes both underage users and offensive material. MySpace said it does not pre-screen the content of its more than 50 million members, but encourages all of them to exercise caution.

Shannon Sullivan’s safety lesson came from her mom who grounded her from the Internet for two weeks.

Stafford: And six months ago you had no idea this was a danger?Shannon Sullivan: Six months ago, I thought it was just another place you can to on the computer.Stafford: And you were 18 back then?Shannon Sullivan: Yes. (laughs) Her mother, Margaret, did something Aftab says too many parents are afraid to do: take control of their child’s computer.

Aftab: They’re afraid of their kids. They somehow think because technology is involved, they’re no longer the parent. Get real. You’re the parent. If you don’t like it, unplug the computer. If they don’t follow your rules, no Internet at all. If you’re not the parent and if you’re not going to step in, no Web site on earth is going to be able to help your child be safe.
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© 2006 MSNBC Interactive

Read some rebuttals here:

http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/05_50/b3963001.htm

:mad:

Nickname: dixiediamonds
Review: MySpace is not a bad site. All of these people wanting to ban the use of it and such are just being ignorant. This is America, people. You can't keep taking things away from people. It a breach of our rights. And for all those who talk about pedophiles and such, think about all of those who are living and acting within your own communities without you even knowing. Atleast on MySpace, it's pretty obvious who the perverts are. MySpace is, like all other sites, good and bad. I actually met my boyfriend/future husband off of it, and so, hey, at least it helped one person.
Date reviewed: Feb 2, 2006 6:53 PM
Nickname: crazigirl
Review: I think MySpace is OK, to a limit. I have a MySpace and it's very fun to put up different pics and stuff but if your child is on there just to strut their stuff and pretend that they make out all day and smoke weed then you (the parent) need to become more active with your kid.
Date reviewed: Feb 2, 2006 5:44 PM
Nickname: jesus
Review: Parents: You are never going get us off MySpace, no matter how hard you try. Nobody will stop me from using it, even if you do block it at school. Teens do what they want, and parents trying to stop them only makes them more rebelious. Please stop being all: "Oh my God my child is talking to a child molester." We're not stupid, although a very small percent is.
Date reviewed: Feb 2, 2006 5:18 PM
 
It certainly is all the rage with kids. My 13 year old is using it all the time. Hopefully we've pounded it into her head to be careful and smart.

Last nights show at least proved that Dad is not a complete lunatic. :rolleyes:
 
Motokid said:
It certainly is all the rage with kids. My 13 year old is using it all the time. Hopefully we've pounded it into her head to be careful and smart.

Last nights show at least proved that Dad is not a complete lunatic. :rolleyes:

Tell me about it! My girls like Xanga and Facebook and at least one is considering myspace too. They know that there are boogeymen out there, and that someone claiming to be Daniel Radcliffe is probably not legit.. They've made real friends through the net, folks they've met in realtime and are now face to face friends. But they've always had mom and dad standing in the background questioning if this person wasn't really a 50 year old guy with a record..and we question loudly and often! They know the dangers and that we WILL keep close tabs on them, even when they're over 18. It's what concerned parents/families do. The one time a dd arranged to meet a guy she met online, she had him meet her at her place of employment so her coworkers could check him out, and he would know that they knew his name and had his description..it was all done in a funny, low-key manner, but the idea got across.
 
Myspace seems to be all over the news these days. I don't know if the whole story is huge news in the rest of the US, or if it's just around here. Anyway, I saw a couple news reports this weekend where friends and family members blamed what happened on Myspace.
 
Blaming My Space is not going to change the fact that it is the responsiblility of the individuals using the forum to think before they post. Parents DO need to monitor their kids and discuss the very real dangers that exist in cyberspace. My kids don't like to hear us questioning the veracity of their "friends", but they need to hear our warnings just the same. Any cyber meeting place can be used for bad, if one is not careful, even TBF. I think parents need to be aware of the dangers and make sure their kids know them too. Make use of these reports that have been in the news lately; talk about them without getting hysterical. Discuss the people the kids are talking too online. Ask a few pertinent questions, "Do you know this person in real life?" "Does anyone you know in real life know this person?" If not, ask them how they know this individual is who they claim to be. Many of the cyberfriends my kids have made, they met in protected forums. By that, I mean they were heavily moderated places for kids, where each member had to give the mod their phone number and parent's name so the mod could call and verify the information provided by the kid. Once they got older, and started hanging out in places with a wider variety of people, they continued the practice of talking mostly to people they already knew, or folks that could be vouched for by their real friends. I still remind them that anyone can read a Xanga or Facebook page and add them to their list. That's my job.It's also my job to be the voice of caution when they talk about arranging meetups. I'm the stick in the mud that asks how they know this person isn't an ax murderer trolling for victims. I'm supposed to be nosey and a nag..I'm sure it's in the fine print of a parent's job description.
 
Thanks for posting on this Motokid. Lenny nero and I were talking about this sometime last year. In the other Dateline specials, they focused mainly on Yahoo! chat sites and messenger.

I have a MySpace account and was thinking about posting something about this on there. It's extremely frightening. I recommend parents visit the Perverted Justice website. They're the volunteer group featured in this special that pose as underage kids online. They have a list of the people who have been caught and more information on how to keep your children safe.
 
abecedarian said:
Blaming My Space is not going to change the fact that it is the responsiblility of the individuals using the forum to think before they post. Parents DO need to monitor their kids and discuss the very real dangers that exist in cyberspace. My kids don't like to hear us questioning the veracity of their "friends", but they need to hear our warnings just the same. Any cyber meeting place can be used for bad, if one is not careful, even TBF. I think parents need to be aware of the dangers and make sure their kids know them too. Make use of these reports that have been in the news lately; talk about them without getting hysterical. Discuss the people the kids are talking too online. Ask a few pertinent questions, "Do you know this person in real life?" "Does anyone you know in real life know this person?" If not, ask them how they know this individual is who they claim to be. Many of the cyberfriends my kids have made, they met in protected forums. By that, I mean they were heavily moderated places for kids, where each member had to give the mod their phone number and parent's name so the mod could call and verify the information provided by the kid. Once they got older, and started hanging out in places with a wider variety of people, they continued the practice of talking mostly to people they already knew, or folks that could be vouched for by their real friends. I still remind them that anyone can read a Xanga or Facebook page and add them to their list. That's my job.It's also my job to be the voice of caution when they talk about arranging meetups. I'm the stick in the mud that asks how they know this person isn't an ax murderer trolling for victims. I'm supposed to be nosey and a nag..I'm sure it's in the fine print of a parent's job description.

The internet is truly something else. We've had 17 and 18 year old girls making plans to meet 35 or 40 year old "boyfriends." We let their parents know and then ban them from the computers for awhile.
 
SFG75 said:
The internet is truly something else. We've had 17 and 18 year old girls making plans to meet 35 or 40 year old "boyfriends." We let their parents know and then ban them from the computers for awhile.

I know a family that's been torn apart by this very issue. Their dd had unlimited access and freedom and made plans to run away to Florida to be with her 30 year old boyfriend. Days before her 18th birthday, she ran away to a friend's house, and that friend took her to the airport on her birthday. That was nearly 2 years ago. Things have sort of settled down now, but we heard lots of horrible things that the family discovered about this man, so we were terribly worried when we heard he'd taken her to Puerto Rico for awhile. The latest I hear is that they are now married and she's ok, so at least this time it turned out alright for the most part. Unless you count the devastation of her parents and brothers..
And then last year, another friend of my daughters' made 'friends' with some guy online and was planning to get married in two years when she turned 18. I think my girls and a few others managed to talk some sense into her, and that little romance cooled very quickly. I was proud that my dds came and told me about it and asked for help before they felt obligated to go to this girl's mother.
 
Due to Internet predators, I am careful and never reveal my full name. Through the fanfiction site I used to post on, I met some people and we exchanged e-mails and IM's. They know that I am "Kat" from somewhere near St. Louis. I told everyone explicitly that I would not reveal my name--a couple told me theirs, but no one pressured me.
Eventually, I wound up talking to this guy who called himself "Alaric." It wasn't his real name, and I was always aware of this. But then, after a few weeks, he announced that he was in love with me. This creeped me out, as I had never met him and didn't even live on the same area of the country as him. I told him I just wanted to be friends, but he kept sending me desperate love letters. I didn't know what to do to keep from hurting his feelings.
I discussed the situation with another Internet friend, Anubis. He said that it didn't sound safe and that my safety was more important than Alaric's feelings. I agreed and finally made the decision to block him from e-mailing or IM-ing me. I haven't heard from Alaric since, and I am glad I handled it the way I did.
 
And then last year, another friend of my daughters' made 'friends' with some guy online and was planning to get married in two years when she turned 18. I think my girls and a few others managed to talk some sense into her, and that little romance cooled very quickly. I was proud that my dds came and told me about it and asked for help before they felt obligated to go to this girl's mother.

Going a bit beyond the whole Nabokovian predator thing, it never ceases to amaze me how people make major life decisions through the internet. I've known people who were promised jobs through "friends" online and it didn't pan out. They were even promised a place to stay, not to mention provided transportation. Then you have the folks who do the whole online dating thing. Now I've been married for six years now, so I've been out of the game for a long time, but that just really sounds odd to me. "Oh yes, we met online through findadate.com and he had me at "hello" when he text-messaged me.":rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Oh Puh-leeeze!. Call me cynical I guess.
 
One of my dds is in the beginning stages of a romance with a guy she met online, not through a dating service, but at a place called meetchristians.com.That one isn't exactly a dating service. It's more like Xanga, but with the goal of being a hangout for more like-minded folks. She's made several friends through Xanga and Facebook, but they've all been through networking with a few people she knew in realtime.
 
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