Poem: Appleseed

[Logos]

Appleseed

Aphrodite swung her hips up and down
the streets of Troy
there were no survivors.
Just the insect shells of Trojan men
who starved when they saw her:
the clamshell cover-girl w/ collagen puff'd lips
and much junk in thy trunk
enough to sink all the distant ships

On thigh highs like suicide, she stalks
leather 'n lace, fellating an apple.
Golden delicious,
molded for her embrace.
Every man was ravenous for a taste.

Would that I were born an apple seed in the ground
just to rise on branches above the ramparts
and fall
when I grew to heavy to live anywhere
but between
your lips.
Put cider in my veins,
boiling steady with each heartbeat
until it bursts through my skin
and I'm left with machetes
where my ribs used to be,
dicing up my insides
everytime I breathe in your Lavender

 

[Vespertilio91]

I like the poem...a bunch. I think the Aphrodite usage was interestingly amazing, but I have just one problem...it swings around too much at the end. You jump from Aphrodite to an appleseed with very little to connect them. It may confuse your audience.

The sensory words are wonderful, and the detail exquisite. I'll give you 9/10 stars on this one. Great job!

 

[Logos]

Thanks. Your right about the seeds, when I read this in public (college coffeehouse nights, and anywhere else they will hand me a mic) I find myself telling a paraphrased story about the trojan war, I claim the popular dischordian belief wherein an argument over an apple is the catalyst for the events leading up to the trojan war. Hence the 'seed' for my pictorialization of aphrodite as a dangerous, self-obsessed, femme fatale who started a war to win an argument.

"when I grew to heavy to live anywhere
but between
your lips."

is my attempt to put an apple in the picture of Aphrodite's mouth that I've hopefully helped you visualize in the first part of the poem.

 

[Phlebas]

Just spotted this ...

I enjoyed it, some great expressions
- particulary liked the "insect shells of Trojan men" very evocative.

Opening line nicely catches the waying motion in the words

The setting of Aphrodite as a modern female celeb is caught very well in the expression "clamshell cover-girl" - Botticelli really made her the first pin up when you think about it.

The bursting apple metaphor is powerful.

Couple of typos - think it should be "too heavy" and "leather 'n' lace"

Just my thoughts.

Cheers,