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Raging Fat Man

manuscriptx

New Member
Hey Lover Boy, look at that. Smell the vile that is chowder fat.
A stench beyond all probable belief and a hand literally shoving foot over mouth wide to the teeth, eyes shut and lungs abreast. Leaning back he had to be wheeled over for oxygen and with the numbing of his fingers massaged and massaged once again.
Good God Man, this is just too much for any one sane person to take much less experience.

Fish and skull bones, chocolate lathered beef, pork, and vanilla sausage, bits of bacon, shards of lettuce, tomato and onions cover the ground where the sea gulls fly by. Jesus Christ no vultures? Are they just as aghast as I am? Come and take this man please? Return him to the depths from whence his ashes came to being. The amino acids that formed such a hideous soul, ugh, the stench, the bearded face, the crumpled and crusty toes, falling over dripped in snot, lathered in mud like a greased pig from a fat farm two miles away. Oh the humanity, the gilded cage bending by the wayside and flinging open.

It could not contain him any longer.

Raging fat man speaks, where's my Tibet, my darling daughter? Who? What?
Where and When? Who would do such a thing as to grace themselves over this charming fat man with the pleasure of a piece of skin, not chicken wing, but real breasts, nipples to bless him one child or much less many. But they ran, they all ran to him, daddy dearest.

Who would do such a thing but a maid? A maid called empty, empty for everything but her one her only one true love was him, I imagined. Him I could only guess was her one, her only one true love.

Go figure.
 
It got better as I kept reading. The first part wasn't so great, I don't know, I think you need to tweak it a bit more.
 
First parts are important.

I know, the first part isn't the " original text " when I thought it up yesterday. Usually I write it, then copy/paste on MS. Word, and shape with the program's spelling and grammar function. It almost never sounds as good uncorrected.
 
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