Save me from my comfort zone.

[manuscriptx]

What is my comfort zone? One of my earliest memories as a kid was waking up in a house to seeing no one around. All that was left in front of me was an empty bowl with a spoon inside, a box of cereal and a reminder to get to school on time. I felt uncomfortable and afraid; they left me there to grow up by myself. I can only but so distinctly remember the crossover from eighth to ninth grade being on the one hand easy and the other an effortless way I once made friends. One day to the next ran the summer; but this time I was all alone to try my best again. I saw no opening; I was left to grow up by myself.
I didn't know how to reach or who to trust exactly; where my whims or feelings, smiles or mysteries came from.

So I grow up alone, so what. Being passive apprehension is not a bad thing. Anger and fear with resent and felted under-appreciation goes unnoticed. A feeling of commonplace and complacency, I am that way and yet so much more. If you ask I will tell you what it would take to return to the days of old, nothing to say, the moment is gone. I am who I am and it is without not that the system stays and was always waiting for me. Kind of like genetics not clicking in until a certain age; like puberty of the hormonal imbalance that won’t start overflowing until everything is readily slightly different, eschewed and off kilter. Where is the normal? Remind me of the parameters of that comfort zone I once knew because I don't know it anymore now than if I ever did then. Once as a child, I am afraid now. Terrified of being alone with no one, not even my wandering monolith to guide me as it still continues to do. No, I'm evermore angry or hateful. I can express it in a way only I can with plenty of zest appeal. Vivid imagination runs afoul with the law whilst I steal anything that isn't nailed down. My mind can run a thousand miles while taking only one step from wake to sleep, a glass of stale room temperature water or champagne. The light inside burned out long ago. I accept that, now and forever more, or gleefully at least until I die. Which ever comes first, I do not know nor sure as heck won't be told.

Nice Try.

 

[WriterJohnB]

This is the best thing you've ever written, in my opinion. I liked it, no shit. You don't do that rhyming thing, which makes your writing seem manufactured, and it's very introspective. Visceral, that's the word. Deep would be another adjective I'd use.

Someday, I hope, you'll go beyond the 2-paragraph feelings and tell us about something that has happened or might happen. Go beyond feelings into action. Work on this one, tweak it a bit with attention on the writing rather than the message.

Good writing,

JohnB

PS - and, as you know, if I think somebody's writing is not up to snuff, I don't hold back.

 

[manuscriptx]

Thanks......

It's interesting you characterize it more so about message than writing.
That's the whole point to my style of writing, there's that hidden undertow of sorts which makes it understandable to the reader in some ways, and a mesh of encryption in others.

The point is not to spell it out for you, or to make it in any way simple, because again, as I've always said, I want my writing to be different.

There's a billion other writers who in my opinion all write the same way, in some cases the exact same way. To be different, this is how I need to write, and if it finally got your priase, that's definitely saying something.

 

[WriterJohnB]

Ah, but the message is what it's all about. Style is all well and good, but if it doesn't transmit the message clearly, what good is it?

It's like having a damn good-looking car that doesn't run.

JohnB

 

[manuscriptx]

Response.

I disagree.

Think of it another way. If you're familiar with or have seen
2006's The Prestige with Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale.

The key to creating suspense and interest is that art of illusion
and misdirection. Once you reveal the secret to something it becomes pretty unappealing.

 

[WriterJohnB]

That's plot development, not style.

JB

 

[WriterJohnB]

Okay, I looked at your reference. You're using a movie to argue about WRITING style? I fail to see the relevance. I, personally, do not relate to the world visually, as in TV, movies and could probably never write a script, certainly could not suggest cinematographic style for my own writings. But I do relate to word-crafting and do not confuse it with any other form of fiction story-telling. Although, I admit, you don't tell stories. so we all have our own viewpoint.

Take care,

JB

 

[manuscriptx]

Exactly.

How does one tell a tale of conflict? It's often described as a personal experience of indecision on just about every and any level but I want to tell it from different perspective. I don't just want to use words, catch phrases and taglines but build up a series of interesting and thought-provoking " vagaries of perception ".

Does the reader slightly, or in anyway shape or form understand what I'm writing, are they interested and do they want to learn more by either continuing to read a passage until the end or ask questions of the writer?

In all cases I want that answer to be yes.
The worst thing isn't the text, the crafting or the structured order, it's being predicable.

 

[mehdirza]

If you mean to remember the earliest ever, it has been recorded by Leo Tolstoy because he has remembered that he'd had a runaway in bathroom when he was 7 months. And man, you're from Massachusetts, ey? I'm coming to Massachusetts on June because I entered Massachusetts Institute of Technology.