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Small Talk

Martin

Martin

Active Member
I am incapable of it. Especially one-on-one; if there's more than one person sitting across the table, then I'm fine, but one-on-one, I simply have nothing to say.

It's horrible, really.

It's not that I'm shy, because I'm not, really; but I am just incapable of chatting about the weather for 7 minutes, followed by a conversation about the ridiculous gasoline-prices that lasts for 11 minutes, only to close off with a 4 minute discussion of which bus we should take on the way home.

It seems like a brutal waste of time to me. This is the main reason why I hate birthdays, also - I simply cannot do it.

Can you?

Cheers
 
Why you can easily do four minutes on the denizens of TBF!

Just imagine, Irene and the non-existent "Wilde Bunch" can help you fill the awkward pauses in your conversation, and you'll have something for which you'll be grateful to me!

"Irene spares me the social discomfort of silence during chit-chat!" Your testimonial shall read.
 
Martin, I'm there with you. I have a 7 year girlfriend, and I still would rather go on a doubledate. One-on-one doesn't have the spark. Three or more people, preferably four, make for a good conversation. I don't know why. I'm sure someone here has some insight into it. Anway, those are usually some really good times.
 
It's not that I don't have fun when I'm 1-on-1 with someone else, au contraire. I have a hoot, usually, and uncomfortable silences only (sporadically) occur with people I don't know, and who don't know me.

I, too, have been in a relationship for 5 years now, and we've been living together for 6 months now, so I guess I'm not completely socially retarded; but put me in a room with someone, alone, and I'm struggling.

It can be pretty annoying. On the other hand, I sometimes sit there, on birthdays for example, listening to this chit-chat, and I praise the lord for my inability to talk about nothing.

Cheers
 
I can talk one-to-one with somebody, but it quickly becomes deep talk. The chit-chat about the weather and so forth lasts seconds. Soon I am looking deep into the person's eyes and pressing them with questions. I take conversation pretty seriously. So, no, I don't really do small talk, but one-to-one works out anyway.
 
I'm from the south in the US, which is supposedly reknown for the ability of women to smalltalk. This must have passed me by, as I have to have something of substance to talk about or I just can't think of what to add to a conversation. I'm not all that embarrassed by it, though. I figure its the other person's problem to invent a topic to discuss. ;)
 
i excel at it. i grew up in a diner, and when my parents finally felt i was old enough to wait tables i quickly realized that ones ability to chit-chat is directly related to ones tips. thankfully it was a family business and there was no way i would get fired because i can be mouthy and cheeky and not everyone thinks it's funny.
and that skill has carried over into working in family resource centers and womens shelters as not everyone is ready to talk about all the tragedies and hardships in their lives.
 
--I can handle a one-on-one conversation but it depends w/ the person that I'm talking too,as long as the topic is somewhat lively and we're both interested and knowledgable,I can keep talking,what's the use of having a group conversation if all us we're talking different things at the same time?
 
The key to small talk is questions. If you ask questions then the other person does all the talking and thinks of you as a fantastic listener who's actually interested in them.
 
Irene Wilde said:
The key to small talk is questions. If you ask questions then the other person does all the talking and thinks of you as a fantastic listener who's actually interested in them.
Click to expand...


bingo!! and then the tips come rolling in. ;)
 
Irene Wilde said:
The key to small talk is questions. If you ask questions then the other person does all the talking and thinks of you as a fantastic listener who's actually interested in them.
Click to expand...
That's usually my approach, yes.

Cheers
 
I'm the same way Martin. I can't keep a conversation going that long. Usually I can talk my butt off about something I enjoy talking about, but if it doesn't interest me...meh.
 
I hate hate hate 'making small talk' i.e. the pointless, nothing conversation - hairdressers and taxi drivers are the worst culprits. But I love finding out about other people, so often I find myself having quite personal conversations with relative strangers - not about myself I should add.
 
I hate to say this Martin, but with over 7000 posts, you are quite the professional small talker....maybe that's just the cyber Martin, and not the personal Martin?


I can small talk quite easily. It's forming a bond, or friendship that's hard for me. Mainly because I don't have a burning desire to have a bunch of relationships with a bunch of people. I prefer to keep my little personal community little.
 
Hah, to be fair, he (Stewart) has a point. But the inane drivel here is somewhat different to finding yourself confronted with someone who you feel forced to make small talk with. All depends on how you define small talk.
 
I loathe small talk but I agree with Irene... it's all about questions. I ask everyone everything. They think I am interested. Not really, although I hear lots of gossip. Funny thing is, people think I'm their best friend because I don't tell anyone else their secrets. That's because I don't choose to remember them.
 
Motokid said:
I hate to say this Martin, but with over 7000 posts, you are quite the professional small talker....maybe that's just the cyber Martin, and not the personal Martin?
Click to expand...
Hit the nail on the head there. First off, I'm just better with the written word than with the spoken word - probably due to having a heavy stutter while in highschool. That will kill your communicative skills stone dead, not to mention your confidence.

Plus, 7000+ posts in 2 1/2 years isn't all that much, is it? And some of 'em were bookrelated. No, really!

Cheers
 
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