Staff Assessments

[Halo]

Saw these staff assessment comments in the paper the other day - they're really funny!

"I wouldn't allow this worker to breed."

"A photographic memory, but with the cap over the lens."

"This lady has delusions of adequacy."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean."

"Since my last report, this employee has hit rock botton and has started to dig."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"This employee is not so much a has-been, more of a definite won't-be."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"When she opens her mouth it seems that it is only to change feet."

"He'd be out of his depth in a puddle."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner the better."

"He would argue with a signpost."

"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."

"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

"He donated his brain to science before he was finished using it."

"This employee has two brains. One is lost, the other is out looking for it."

"If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

"Some people drink from the fountain of knowlege, he only gargled."

"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

Brilliant! I love the last one.

 

[Martin]

"This lady has delusions of adequacy."

Love that one.

Good stuff.

Cheers

 

[mehastings]

"This employee has two brains. One is lost, the other is out looking for it."

Makes me wish I was an employer rather than an employee.... Of course, I suppose they could become snide co-worker comments.

 

[direstraits]

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

Could think of a couple of people this can apply to.

Good list, Halo. I'll be sharing these.

ds