Stories From The Road

[Motokid]

It's about 80 degrees here today. I go out for a quick blast on my motorcycle. I'm runnin' down a twisty back road getting to the special place in my mind...just me and the road. As I'm pitching into a nice rolling curve a sensation of pain starts to remove the Zen from my being. I realize that the pain is a sting. Somehow a bee has got between my shirt and skin and is currently stinging the shit out of me. My shirt is tucked in to my pants to keep it from working it's way up my back as the wind speed increases, so the bee is stuck between me and my shirt. Now I'm going about 50mph and there's no shoulder to pull off on, so what do I do?

Here's what I do. I start beating the hell out of myself to hopefully kill the little bastard before I get stung a few more times. I must also keep control of the bike, and watch the road as it's pretty curvy with blind corners and small hills. Not a road to take your eyes off of that's for sure. I also, of coarse must immediately look for a safe place to pull off and get the little f'er for good.

Thankfully, a private driveway makes itself visible and I can pull off, remove my helmet, and untuck my shirt to survey the damage and or complete the mission of bee destruction. Nice red welts. Dead bee. I must have got him with one of my mad-man flailing wacks to my side at 50mph, or hopefully the little bastard ripped his own ass off in the process of stinging me. Either way I'm not sure who won. I think we both might have lost.

My ride was not the Zen experience I originally had hoped for. Fortunately I'm not allergic to bee stings, and I made it through the episode with little more than a very red, welt riddled, bee stung hide.

Happy Spring y'all....

So, what are your road trip stories?

 

[jenn]

before we were married matt and i drove across canada coming home from bc. we had been given an old saab 900s, the same colour as eggnog, and we were coming out of the rockies when matt thought the car felt a bit wobbly. we pulled over and the front tire was seconds away from spinning off. then as we got back in the car, our dog stepped on the key (which is between the seats not at the wheel) and broke it off in the ignition. we were locked out of our trunk so matt had to tear apart the back seat to pop it.
when we finally got on the road we were tired and frustrated so we pulled into the next camp ground, set up and crashed. around 11-11:30 we were awoken by 2 girls getting it on with a very large biker guy. we had talked to the girls earlier who had said they were heading into town to party. well party they did!!!!!! we finally couldn't take it so around 3 am we got up, partook of illegal substances that i am by no means advocating or condoning, and fell peacefully into oblivion.

 

[Motokid]

This morning there are two very distinct little red welts, and a smaller 3rd spot that may or may not be the result of the little bastards desires to punish me for trapping him between my shirt and skin. Definitely two stings...maybe I squished his wittle head before he completed the third one....who knows????

....those biker guys get all the chicks....funny story Jenn.

 

[jenn]

well he wasn't hot fantasy biker let me tell you. he was scary, hairy, eating a dozen donuts and a bucket of chicken all by himself kinda biker.*shivers* original recipe my ass!!!!