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A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a
calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto
Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious
Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged
by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a
problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They desire solutions by means and
extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to
themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3
sides to every triangle".
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes."
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a
calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto
Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious
Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged
by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a
problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They desire solutions by means and
extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to
themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3
sides to every triangle".
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes."