The Darc truth of deception(ignorance is bliss but is bliss ignorant)

[DaDarcBrothuh]

Hi everyone well i write books well frequently( not like im a author) but i write the ideas that come out of my head.

I have had an idea for a book an i want to kno if it in the least sounds appealing?

(sigh) here it goes:

For every 7 people a guardian angel is born. The angels soul purpose is to protect his/her 7 people, but what happens when the angel is born in a defiant state of curiosity.....
Damen is a guardian angel who's ambition on living (persay) is to ask his seven people about the world an how they lived life...

you see guardian angels can only see their seven people an protect them not from a natural death but one caused by demonic hands. In a way they are like children an are living in bliss .

When damen's seven people all die by a fateful fate of suicide there is only one place he can go to talk to them and choses to defy god by making an agreement with the devil himself and the price is half his soul......


but half his soul isnt the only price... god punished damem by removing his wings , therefore banishing him from heaven to life on earth.

After a century of relizing the cruel, selfish desires of what man has to offer he longs for entry into heaven...

the devil offers him an agreement he will give the fallen angel wings but they come with a price

things get out of control later when damen spills 4 angels blood an god banishes what is left of his soul into a newborn baby hoping to give him a chance he longed for but dreaded later as his punishment...

can any man live with 2 souls in once body?.....

In this world if you honestly know to much you die.


lol thats jus my prolouge um tell me what yall thing plz.

um if u want the full description of the book ill b happy to tell it to you

 

[Stewart]

Do you really need a prologue?

 

[Motokid]

tell me what yall thing plz.

Can you tell us a little about yourself first?

How old you are?
Where you are from?
What language is your primary language?

Some basic knowledge of who you are would help a lot.

 

[Stewart]

Do you really think all that matters?

All he wants to know is if his idea is good, not whether his idea is good for his age or whether his idea is a good for a non-native speaker of English, which I doubt he is anyway.

I'm not going to be able to pass comment on such a synopsis because a) I don't like that sort of thing; and b) It's the sort of thing I would have come up with when I was twelve.

 

[Motokid]

Do you really think all that matters?

If all he's asking for is our opinion on the basic idea....then I have no interest in it what-so-ever.

However, knowing some of the other stuff might lead to some entertaining discussion.

 

[Stewart]

To be honest, I would just say don't waste your time asking for the opinion of others on your plot because what that says to me is that you are unsure of it or perhaps don't even like it yourself. If you have such doubts then just forget it and move onto something new that genuinely interests you where you don't need to ask for others' thoughts.

The stuff that appeals is not the plot but the energy on the page. And that will only come through - regardless of how dull the plot is - when you are truly excited about what you are writing.

Does your summary excite you? Excite you enough to want to write it? Then just go write it. If it doesn't excite you, find something to write about that does.

 

[DaDarcBrothuh]

i see well i appreciate how you all were honest. i understand this doesn't seem to catch ur intrest in the least bit but o well i still like it.

an i dont see how mt age would seem to spark any intrest but im 15 not 12.And atlanta is where i live.

Yes, i would need a prolouge. It would explain the child's mild case of schizophrenia

 

[Motokid]

i see well i appreciate how you all were honest. i understand this doesn't seem to catch ur intrest in the least bit but o well i still like it.

an i dont see how mt age would seem to spark any intrest but im 15 not 12.And atlanta is where i live.

Just a heads up for the sake of making your participation here a bit easier on you, and everybody else.

At your age, and being American, and having some desire to be a writer, you should have a desire to communicate in a way that makes people want to read what you write. Replacing words like "your" with an abbreviation like "ur" will cause many people here to get frustrated with communicating directly with you.

Spell your words out. Try your best to spell them correctly. This is not English class, and you are not getting a grade on your posts, but most people here expect, and deserve a little more effort.

If you want to be a writer, you should at least try to write better even when making a simple post in an online forum.

Welcome to the forum. Enjoy yourself.

 

[DaDarcBrothuh]

hehe i actually made some typing errors though...ironic

Thank you for the post but im not ignorant,i kno people take you more seriously by the way you type here. I have typed what i wanted your advise on in proper english,however im not going to let that stop typin how i feel fit. If people dont want to read my stuff by the way i type then thats their problem an they shouldnt waste their time.

intelligence can't be measured over the computer

Although i appreciate ur post very much.

 

[Stewart]

intelligence can't be measured over the computer

But a damn good impression can be formed. And you don't gain much respect - on a forum based around reading and writing! - when nobody knows what you are saying.

You have to respect that its not just kids your age using sites like this. There are older people who may not find that shorthand crap to be legible and, more importantly, there are non-English speakers who may be left confused by what you are trying to say.

 

[tundra]

Your prologue is too complicated. I get the feeling you're trying to pack in as many story twists into the minimum number of words. Complicated stories are fine, just don't try to explain everything at once. You're including a sketch on a society and a very long list of extraordinary and ridiculous circumstances that occur one after another in setting up a character that doesn't need to be set up on page 1. I read a lot of fantasy, but if I read something like that in a prologue I'd roll my eyes and chuck it. It's too much. Besides, prologues usually depict some semi-interesting event about which the writer explains nothing--on purpose--so the reader is interested enough to learn more and continue reading. Supposedly. But I don't like prologues in general--I'm more likely to react with "get the hell started and stop blathering." If the book is good, people will read it anyway and you don't have to annoy them.

ps. Please learn to spell and form complete sentences before attempting to write a book.

 

[DaDarcBrothuh]

I see thank you for the comment. Since you people have been here longer than me, I will respect your wishes.

 

[Stewart]

With that much information, you would be better suited to use flashbacks or play about with the chronology to fit it in.