The Dumbest Thing...

[mehastings]

Everybody has that moment where every little bit of common sense they have drains out of them and they just act like an idiot. So, what is the dumbest thing you've ever done? I've probably got more of these little things than most people, but I had a doozy that really stands out this afternoon.

We keep one of those two gallon containers with the spout in the fridge. If you don't have the spout turned in the right direction it can open up when the door closes and make a mess. So, this afternoon I got a glass of water and didn't pay attention to the spout. Ten minutes later Tom called me over to come clean up my mess. It was worse than usual. Almost a gallon of water had spilled out. It was all over the fridge, all over the floor and the two bins in the fridge door were full of water. I pulled everything out and dumped the water out of the bins. Then I mopped up the fridge and water.

I went back to the couch and my book. At some point I rubbed my eye because my allergies make them itch a lot lately. Suddenly, BURNING. My eye felt like it was on fire, it hurt like hell and I couldn't see a thing. It started to tear up and the area under my eye started to burn too. It was horrible. Tom looked and said my eye wasn't even red. Eventually it went away. An hour later I came back from the store with dinner. I moved the no longer wet condiments back into the bins to make room for our food. When I was done, back to the couch I went (productive day). I must have rubbed my lips or something because they started to burn too.

All I could think was "SHIT! I've got OC on me". A patient from a few days ago got OCed by the cops and I kept thinking "my god, it's on my pager, it's on my belt". I ran around the house trying to wash the burn off of my face and trying to sanitize anything that could have OC on it. Suddenly, I realized I had something that looked like ketchup on my finger. I took a sniff, and hot sauce. I had gotten some 1,000,000 Scoville hot sauce in my eye. I'm lucky it didn't do any damage. It got on my finger when I was taking stuff out of the fridge bins. This easily takes the cake for stupidest thing I've done in a long time.

 

[Ronny]

I can't imagine having that in my eye I would freak, it made my eyes water thinking about it. As for my own stories I don't know were I could start being a tad bit absent minded and a clutz to boot gives me lots to pick from This is the one I still here about the most.

My first landlord had the patience of a saint, I called for maintnance all the time usually on things I broke. How was I to know you could not put a whole burnt roast down the garbage disposal? I figured the main trick would be shoving it in.

But the best was when I called on the utility closet, we had this big closet that had the water heater, AC and all that stuff in it and one day I hear this noise I peek in and see sparks. OMG me and baby will be electricuted so I call landlord and tell him it's a major emergancy please come, he shows up a few moments later, finds me and my son sitting outside in a panic. I tell him all the electric stuff has gone haywire sparks, crackling noise, everything. He is now scared to go in but ventures a look inside. I hear something along the lines of "you got to be kidding me" and he comes out with my son's helium balloon. It had drifted into the closet, the sun reflecting off it looked like sparks and the air moving it around made the crackling sound. Needless to say I wanted to hide under a rock but like I said the Landlord was very nice and said it was ok, call anytime and didn't even laugh at me, well not to my face anyway but who can blame him for what he told his friends.
_________________

 

[SFG75]

We got a new copier at work a few years back, really snazzy one. It had numerous pull-out containers for different sizes of paper and had about a thousand options for printing. one of the containers of paper was empty and I opened it up. I noticed that the paper that I had grabbed was a tad-bit too large for it, but forced it in there anyways. I wasn't thinking as I had a hundred things on my mind that morning that I had to complete. I pushed in the container and left the printing room. When someone else used it, the paper got caught in every nook and cranny of the copier and the machine made a metallic, metal on metal noise that wasn't good. Not only that, it made a loud "pop" noise and gave up the ghost and died. When I talked to the secretary a few days afterwords, she said the repairman stated that it was the absolute worst problem with a copier he had ever seen. Evidently, "someone" put in the wrong paper size and who would dare do such a thing? I shook my head and agreed with her 100%.

 

[G4G]

We got a new copier at work a few years back, really snazzy one. It had numerous pull-out containers for different sizes of paper and had about a thousand options for printing. one of the containers of paper was empty and I opened it up. I noticed that the paper that I had grabbed was a tad-bit too large for it, but forced it in there anyways. I wasn't thinking as I had a hundred things on my mind that morning that I had to complete. I pushed in the container and left the printing room. When someone else used it, the paper got caught in every nook and cranny of the copier and the machine made a metallic, metal on metal noise that wasn't good. Not only that, it made a loud "pop" noise and gave up the ghost and died. When I talked to the secretary a few days afterwords, she said the repairman stated that it was the absolute worst problem with a copier he had ever seen. Evidently, "someone" put in the wrong paper size and who would dare do such a thing? I shook my head and agreed with her 100%.

Let's hope that no one from your place of work sees this then....

 

[clueless]

I have so many to choose from and I was going to go for the one in the Post Office, when I tried to post a parcel in a radiator or the one with the bag of peanuts and the elephant. After seen SFG75, though, I decided to go for the laser toner one.
Someone else was trying to change the toner on a printer. The pull out strip was really stuck on and wouldn't come out. Instead of sending it back to the supplier, I tried a little trick with a screwdriver. That was the first time someone had to use a vacuum cleaner on me.

 

[jenn]

i've never done anything dumb in my whole life, but ricky, whooee, man. i will let her tell you about the toaster and the ketchup...

 

[clueless]

i've never done anything dumb in my whole life, but ricky, whooee, man. i will let her tell you about the toaster and the ketchup...

I bet Ricky says the same about you. We'll ask her. Where is she, anyway?

 

[Motokid]

Very early on in my motorcycle life I was leaving my home and had to stop at the end of the driveway to let a car pass by. I decided to do a quick check of all things safety related...turn signals, horn, high beams and low beams, and last but not least brake lights...right hand (front brake) leaning back to see if light came on...check....right foot (back brake)...check....

complete loss of mind, brains, common sense.....

left foot...(gear shifter).....

I had stepped onto the gear shifter popping the bike into first gear whilest leaning back to check the tail lights/brake lights....

Bike lurches forward, before stalling due to no ref's on the throttle, just enough to make me lose my balance, and my hold on the bike and we both topple over at the blindingly fast speed of maybe 1 mph....

ego....bruised but still alive....bike....scuff on turn signal and a slightly bent clutch lever.....

aye carumba !!!!!!

 

[mehastings]

The pull out strip was really stuck on and wouldn't come out. Instead of sending it back to the supplier, I tried a little trick with a screwdriver. That was the first time someone had to use a vacuum cleaner on me.

I have a co-worker who did the same think with a powder fire extinguisher in the back of a van ambulance (the ones that feel like they are the size of a toyota corolla in the back). Somehow the pin had gotten pulled out so the extinguisher had to be checked and retagged. It was stuck under her and her partner's personal belongings. Instead of moving the stuff she decided to yank it out. The entire thing unloaded all over her and the inside of the truck. It took more than four hours to clean. We had to vacuum her hair!

 

[ricky]

yes yes jenn..you've never done one dumb thing in your life....

when i was about 7 years old, i was quite in love with myself and would gaze longingly in the mirror for hours. the toaster used to sit on the kitchen counter and i was short enough to look into it. one morning i came downstairs, looked at myself in the toaster and sang a little song about how beautiful i was. i was so beautiful in fact, i decided to give myself a little kiss....not knowing that jenn had just put down two slices of bread. i leaned in, gave myself a little kiss and my lips began to sizzle. they actually stuck for a second or two. needless to say, once everyone regained composure from laughter, they tended to my now fried lips that at this point had gone completely white. i had to tell my friends at school my lips were chapped.

the ketchup incident happened at our family's restaurant. we had a dispenser that hung on the wall and the ketchup came in a bag. to get the ketchup in you had to lie it flat and change the plug with the nozzle and then heave it into the dispenser. i figured i would save myself some time, put the bag in and then change the plug. well, when i took the plug off, ketchup started shooting out at me. i started screaming for jenn to come and help me. she ran around the corner saw me covered in ketchup as i was trying to catch it with my hands. jenn was like what the hell?! we lost half the bag of ketchup. needless to say, my dad was not pleased. i think we lost half the bag....

 

[jenn]

even reading that now, like 7 years later i can't stop laughing. she was literally trying to catch the ketchup pouring out of the spout with her hands, the look of sheer desperation, the smell of ketchup, her clothes covered. funny funny.

 

[ricky]

i was screaming....shit, shit, shit...!!!!

 

[jenn]

good times, good times....

 

[ricky]

i also one time while getting a pedicure, picked up the polish to look at the colour to make sure it is what i wanted and wasn't paying attention and as i went to put it back, missed the table and it exploded all over the tile floor. the worst part was no one said to me, oh don't worry or it happens all the time...you know, to try to make me feel less of an idiot....

 

[Ronny]

lol. I'm sorry your lips got burned but I loved the toaster story, ha,ha, maybe because I was obsessed with my reflection, too.

 

[ricky]

well, one time jenn was houseitting and dog sittign for our folks. now, let me explain to you all, that jenn is not what i would call a 'dog' person. so at about 7 am the phone rings and it's jenn in hysterics wailing that she can't get max. she tells me that she has been trying to creep up on him and pounce when he isn't looking, but he's too quick. mind you it's the dead of winter as well. so i tell het to just go in and he'll come when he's ready and gets cold. at this point she is so pissed and freaked that max may run away or get hit by a car or whatever, so would i come over to help her get him? i say sure, jump in a cab and head over. when i pull up, max is standing there, and i walk over and get him..no problem.
jenn just goes in the house, curses at max and goes back to bed.

 

[ricky]

and another time, jenn decides to bake some kind of dessert, i can't really remember. but she figures, she'll save a step and bake it right in the dish that you would serve it in. when it comes out of the oven, it is so baked into the dish you can't get it out and they are totally ruined. instead of just confessing to our parents what she did, we decide to throw the dishes away. again, in our minds it made more sense to throw them over the bank in the hopes that the river would wash them away and there would be no evidence of our wrong doing. i think it was like, 3 days later when our dad found the dishes when he was walking the dogs.

 

[Ronny]

Well for complete public humiliation, there was my sister's dance recitial at the mall one christmas. We had gone to watch her dance school do their big Christmas recitial and it was really long, I had been sitting on the floor crossed legged the whole time. At the end they were pulling people up to dance with them and this stubborn elf came and started trying to pull me up but my feet were asleep, I tried to shake my head but he was persistant he got me up and my feet went pigeon toed and wobbly by this time I'm pulling back, hitting him and shouting let me go. He did I feel over and skirt flew up, lots of people got to see my festive undies but I think my face was even redder. It probable wouldn't of made such a scene I had I told the guy my feet were asleep or not shouted the way I did but for some reason my reasoning skills were totally absent that day

 

[ricky]

HAHAHA!! that's hilarious......!!

one day at school i was walking behind a guy who i thought was my friend tim..so i ran up slapped my hand on his back and started chatting away. he didn't say anythign so when i finally looked up at him, i was oh..you're not tim! took my hand off his back and walked away.

 

[Ronny]

Oh, I know how that feels, my hubby (nice guy that he is) has let me walk up to a total stranger grab his hand and wander down the whole aisle of a store babbling, I finally look up and see my mistake but still can't understand why neither did anything to stop me. Jeff was watching and laughing the whole time, the stranger just looked a bit confused.