Things I can do without

[hay82]

Right this is perhaps a bit more odd post that usual or perhaps not. If anyone has a problem with things of a sexual nature don't read on..

It's the middle of the night and I've happily gone to bed. My roommate has been to a party and comes home, makes a lot of noise before he goes to bed. This is where I realise that he is not alone, and he has a girl with him. I don't have a problem with him having a girl with him home, my problem is the fact that our rooms are only separated by a almost paperthin wall, which does nothing to stop sound from coming through.
Within 5 minutes I can hear a female voice, "oh god, yes. OH GOD yes." which is actually quite funny since I didn't think he knew anyone who is religious and why should they start to pray in the middle of the night .. Anyway, I think I better just try to focus on the book I'm reading and try to block out the very unplesant pictures forming in my head, pictures I want nothing to do with, I tend to find my roommate a turnoff even with his clothes on. Then comes the killing stroke. I hear my roommate say "turn around so I can take you from behind" .. Suddenly she is making even more noise than before, the bed is now banging against the wall and my roommate is panting heavily
This was where I decided to go downstairs and put on my headset, which is currently playing at full volume.

I don't mind him having sex, I just mind those pictures that emerged in my head. I don't want them there, and now they won't leave..
This I can do without. Well this and spiders.. I don't like spiders.

 

[jenn]

i once went to a party at a friends house and got too drunk. she very kindly said go up, sleep in my room, and i did. i woke up to find her and someone going at it in bed, with me. i just laid there and pretended to be asleep.

 

[hay82]

Then I guess that I didn't really have it too bad.

 

[dele]

Sounds like some of my old roommates. The only thing worse than having to listen to them is having to hear all about it the next morning.

 

[mehastings]

My younger brother just turned 21 and he lives with us. He had this girlfriend who would come over, not talk to us and just drag him up to his room. About five minutes later you would hear his futon bouncing across the room and her SCREAMING at the top of her lungs "ohhhh uhhhh yessssss" UM EWWW. It's bad enough to know that your little brother is upstairs in your house having sex. Having to listen to it no matter where in the house you are is just awful. I don't know how she could possibly be enjoying anything that much either. We used to put Cops on and turn the volume up so loud that it sounded like there was a cruiser in our living room and we could still hear her over the TV. Then, she would come down and act like she didn't know why the TV was so loud. It was horrid and I certainly don't miss her.

 

[phil_t]

Oh god those are all so damn hilarious More amusing sex stories please!!

(Thank the Gods all the rooms at my uni had thick walls between them)

Phil

 

[Genie]

I once went on holiday with an ex boyfriend and our best friends who were also a couple.We all stayed in a tiny caravan and again the walls were almost paper thin. They woke us up one night whilst having sex and making loud noises. This really annoyed us so we tried putting the radio on to drown out the horrid noises but to no avail. They just got louder. In the end we decided to play them at their own game. We made even more horrendous, and much louder noises than them (even though we wern't really doing any thing, they'd put us off by then!) but it worked. They promptly stopped and my and ex and I drifted peacefully off to sleep.

The next morning, they got up and began moaning at us for making so much noise! We just said "Sorry." We wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing they had p!ssed us off and that we wern't actually doing anything! Still, it wasn't as bad as when I once heard my mum and step-dad doing it.

 

[Stewart]

Left my friend in Glasgow centre one night and called him the next day to ensure he got home okay...but he hadn't just gone home...

He's met some girl in the street, got talking, and went back to hers, and they were getting down and dirty on the bed and her first hand grabbed his left ass cheek, her second hand grabbed his right ass cheek, and her third hand started caressing his shaft.

Three hands, he thought, that can't be right. So, he looked down and saw there was a guy in the room that he hadn't seen before. He says he just got out of the bed, went to the toilet, locked himself in, and repeated into the mirror No! That didn't happen..

Then he left.

 

[Slugbaby]

Room mates

You think thats bad, you oughta try being in the army. In an eight man room you don't have the luxury of the wall! Now there be some tales!

Perhaps you should take a hint from the title of the book your reading, or at least admit the reason those images won't go away is because deep down you fancy your room mate (yuk!)

Only kiddin (I hope, but eh! each to there own, if you can't pot the pink!)

 

[hay82]

I was in the army but only for a short period, and nobody succed in getting any women into the room, although they did try.

Perhaps it is because I fancy him.. During the long baths we take together I sometimes do find myself filled with urges I can't explain. Perhaps it's the way his pale, hairy ass looks when the water is cascading down it.

Actually I'm quite bad at golf.

 

[starchild42]

i once went to a party at a friends house and got too drunk. she very kindly said go up, sleep in my room, and i did. i woke up to find her and someone going at it in bed, with me. i just laid there and pretended to be asleep.

Ack, I feel your pain. The very same happened to me when I was about 19 - passed out drunk on someone's bed at some party, woke up in the middle of the night to find my best mate going at it with the owner of said bed. I did a pretty good job of pretending to be asleep until she yelled out his best mate's name instead of his...and that's when I collapsed into fits of giggles. I think he was too drunk to notice, but I teased her about it mercilessly for years afterwards

 

[jenn]

well initially i thought, ok , is this going to be one of those moments of experimentation you have when you are 19-20. is this going to be my token lesbian experiance with a twist. my girlfriend was very cute and i thought it over, but when i realized who the guy was, i was like, uh nope.

 

[mojo]

I came home from uni early one afternoon to hear my flatmate screaming 'Yes! Yes, oh baby baby!' etc etc, headboard banging, bed squeaking the works. Shut the front door a bit too loudly and all noise stopped instantly. She came out 10 minutes lately looking slightly mortified, and there was nobody else in the house....

 

[Motokid]

This has been the best Monday morning read I've had in many, many, long days....thanks everyone...

 

[Ashlea]

I rented a beach house and invited a few friends. When some friends who were a couple arrived, I directed them to the 2nd bedroom and pointed out that there was a vent, right there, between the bedrooms, so there was no privacy whatsoever.

Of course, they thought everyone had left before they got started . . . only Wolf was in the next room. So over breakfast, we got a full report over what they'd been doing. They'd both recently gotten new tattoos, so at one point, he screamed, "DON'T STEP ON MY TATTOO!"

This phrase is now screamed loudly at least once a month at gatherings.

 

[Ronny]

I don't think I could have sat quietly through it I would be laughing to hard and probably started cheering roomy on in a sarcastic manner. My best friend and first roomate was a moaner and I used to start moaning along really loud just to see how long it took the guy to figure out there was another girl moaning in the house. I also liked when I caught his name so I could walk in the kitchen with an "OOOOhhh Johnny" in the morning. Amazingly we are still friends.

 

[Sergo]

Ohhh, boys and girls... One would think that after sexual revolution had washed over the West, the younger generation liked sexual pleasures much more...

What should I tell about? How my girl decided to leave me, and to arrange a proper farewell party we travelled to a natural reserve region on the Black Sea shore, where we lived for ten days in a tent on the beach... There were three of us in the tent - myself, my girl and her girl-friend. The tent was quite simple, without any partitions at all... The girl-friend had to pretend she was asleep quite often...

Or about our student meetings, which were held in my one-roomed flat. You may not know that in Russia one-roomed flat is exactly what it is called - a flat with a very small toilet, small kitchen and a single room. So when there were more than three pairs of us... And sometimes there were more than twelve of us in the flat...

No, I will tell about a shock I had 20 years ago or so... I frequently visited my friend then, who lived not too far from me. Once or twice my friend told me about some girl living with two men in the same building... Ehhh, I had been a well-looking lad than... So one time, when I said good bye to the friend and came to the elevator to get down, when the elevator's doors opened - there were a pregnant young woman and two men there. After the doors closed and we started our descent to the first floor, the woman told me: hey, I like you, let's come to my flat right now. I looked at her - she was pretty enough, but I was rather shocked, and tried some evasive explanation. At that moment one of the men told me that I have to do as I am told, because one cannot say "No" to a pregnant woman, as that could have an unexpected effect on her health. At that moment we arrived to the first floor, and I succeeded in getting away, not without some defensive movements on my part...
I wonder if anybody here had such an experience?
I am sure I could do then without it... And now it is just another funny thing to remember...

 

[tartan_skirt]

Something I don't really need is to encounter my 19 year old brother and his girlfriend in the corridor and when I offer them the internet he replies "Can we get it in an hour? We're just going for a bath." >.<

This just happened 10 minutes ago...


EDIT- An hour later and they're still in there.