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Why the Chicken Crossed the Road

Wabbit

New Member
Because it's Monday.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... A funny :D

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

BILL CLINTON: That depends on what your definition of "did" is.

GEORGE BUSH JR: I don't know, but I'll tell you this: That chicken may run, but it can't hide. God bless America.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: Did you actually see it cross the road? Or did you suddenly notice that it had appeared on the other side? You think you saw it cross the road, but that's an illusion. How many more chickens have to appear before you believe it?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken Millenium Edition, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book, and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: What color was the chicken? If you do your research, you will find that it was a white chicken. Roads are always black. The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

COLONEL SANDERS: You mean I missed one?!


Regards
SillyWabbit
 
Very funny stuff there, SillyWabbit!!
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Keep it coming!

Cheers, Martin :D
 
Originally posted by piedro
amazing signature headpodd!!!

Can't take the credit I'm afraid. It's a quote from a well-known comedy series. Brownie points for anyone who can guess where it's from.

:)
 
That's bugging me now, because I do know it but can't remember where it's from! I'll guess then: Red Dwarf or Spaced. :)
 
Wow, another Spaced fan!!! This is my absolute favorite comedy series ever!! Simon Pegg is a genius :)

Phil

Although im not actually sure it came from Spaced, that quote is very familiar, which makes me think it does!!
 
I didn't see Spaced from the beginning, I think I got into it around series 2 (?) Of course, it then promptly finished! :) Are there going to be any more?

That quote is still bugging me - I'm going to add My Hero to my guesses. Please hurry up and tell me if I'm right, Headpodd!
 
Buy the DVDs, they're absolutely fantastic and you can normally pick them up cheap!! First series is (arguably) better than the second, especially the paintball episode, which is fantastic.

There is both a third series and a book planned, but neither is coming out soon.

The quote is from Red Dwarf, i looked it up!!


Phil
 
Ahem... Ladies and gentlemen, I am honoured to receive this special award. I would like to thank the academy, my hair-stylist, my make-up artist, my dog-walker, the cast of Red Dwarf, and most importantly, the writers ... <dissolves into Gwyneth Paltrow sobs> ;)

I'd like to dedicate this award to Peter Jackson in case he is cruelly overlooked yet again at tonight's Oscars! Go Peter!! :D
 
Speaking of oscars, I have to work all night! I'm gonna have to miss it this year! :(

Cheers, Martin :D
 
Yeah, I could do that, but I'll be home at 07:30, and I'll go to sleep then. Tomorrow I have all kinds of things to do, and I'll be away from home all day tuesday, so the first time I'll actually have time to watch it, tons of people will have told me the winners. :(

Cheers, Martin :D
 
Bring your TV to work! :lol You won't miss it.
Another idea for you, what about radio??
 
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