wow wild couple of days.

[jenn]

many of you must have noticed a trend these past few weeks with "what offends and why can't we talk politics or religion?", and various branches off that tree.
i've been thinking about it a lot and i am wondering, when does the majority have to stop making concessions to accommodate the minority? and by minority, i do not mean racially or ethnically.
i feel that the rules of this forum do serve the majority. the reasons for the restrictions on religion and politics make sense to me and i have no beef with them and am happy to tow the line.
my point may be best explained by an example. i belong to a gym. i pay 45$ a month to go and use the facilities but never use the change room. it has a very strict policy on no scents. i don't ever use perfum or hairspray, and happily switched to non-scented deoderant. there was still a complaint about the shampoo, so i looked into that. it is more expensive but....then someone commented about the smell of the towels/clothes etc.due to detergent or fabric softener. so now i just don't use the changeroom, but i pay for the service. and many people are in the same boat. so to accommodate the few, many of us are inconvienanced. now of course i realize that this is a health issue, and i made as many changes as possible but here i am, stinky after my workout.
when does the burden of compliance shift from the majority to the individual? at some point shouldn't someone say, ok you know, this isn't working for me and perhaps the solution lies with me. so go to the gym and say, due to my allergy i won't be using the shower room, could i have a reduced rate to compensate?
lately the threads in general chat have been silly, and maybe a bit tacky(see my birthday thread ) but should we refrain from tomfoolery because some want seriousness?
my fear is that in trying to accommodate and intergrate ,we lose sight of what makes this forum and any place with more than one person, interesting; our diversity.( which includes tasteless humour).
there are those who yes, choose to leave because this forum is not what they wanted or expected or they are disappointed etc. to me, bravo, good for you. that is an example of an individual making a decision to accommodate themselves.
i strongly believe in human rights and the rights of the individual. but i also feel that at some point the individual must take responsibility for themselves and stop asking everyone else to adapt. if we keep whittling away at what to say and not to say we will all become one homogeneous lump and then what would we talk about?

i did want to add that my point is not directed at the mods or their reasons for banning or warning, i have no opinion on that. it is directed at all of us, those of who are happy here and those of us who are not.

 

[VTChEwbecca]

Well said.

I've never understood why those who only want seriousness just pass on reading the non-serious threads (I know I skip many of the non-serious threads, because they simply don't interest me). Ah, but maybe that's just me not feeling the need to click on every new thread.

 

[Stewart]

I've never understood why those who only want seriousness just pass on reading the non-serious threads

Sometimes you have to click into them to find out what they are about as a number of threads posted in the general discussion don't offer any real clue to their contents.

 

[Freya]

lately the threads in general chat have been silly, and maybe a bit tacky(see my birthday thread ) but should we refrain from tomfoolery because some want seriousness?

So long as it doesn't infect every thread, no. The constant 'spam' and in-jokes can be off-putting for newbies. I can assure you, it certainly put me off, back in the day. I know I'm hardly innocent if we want to look back 5 months or so, but I do feel for people who start a thread that gets over taken with little one liner 'funny' comments. Just because it's started in General Chat doesn't give people a licence to dick around in that thread. There are plenty of other forums that will tolerate, even actively encourage, messing around. If you need recommendations, drop me a PM! Same as there are plenty of other forums that tolerate religious and political posts, therefore I really don't see the need to change that particular forum rule.

 

[Dogtanian]

Its a fact of life that the silent majority have to bend over backwards for the loud minority.

Your gym sounds like a bit harsh though! I pay £46pm at mine (roughly $70) and pretty much anything goes when it comes to scents, shampoos etc....

 

[jenn]

freya, i agree with you and i too have been guilty of "spamming" threads that are started with the intent of a serious discussion.
and i know that it can be intimidating to join in when you are new and there is a sense that everyone knows everyone. i've only been here 5 months and often come across 'in- jokes' and think "what the hell is this about now". but that is also unavoidable. people become friends and begin to have history. you and litany are a good example of that.
it boils down to deciding to stick around and get a feel for people. novella was the first person to reply to one of my threads and she scared the bejeesus out of me. now i look for her input and responses.
i probably know more about moto than i know about anyone else on this forum, why, because he puts it all out there. granted that's not for everyone, but i feel that we have to give people a chance, and that means newbie's have to give older members a chance to get to know them. i'm sad that frogger is leaving. i feel like i was just getting to know him and feel comfortable with him. i respect his reason for leaving and his method of doing it, but in the same breath, it's a real discussion stopper.

 

[hay82]

Its a fact of life that the silent majority have to bend over backwards for the loud minority.

It's hard to know what the silent majority wants, seing as they are silent. I have no problem if people here want me to adapt to not spamming threads, that's okay and I can see the point. But not saying anything, then getting angry because nothing changes or perhaps get worse and then leave.. that seems odd to me.

 

[Kookamoor]

Jenn - that was eloquent, non-confrontational and to the point. Most Newbies come here (as I did) to discuss books, and when you become more comfortable with the people here you start making comments in the General Section. The way things diverge from the topic is natural, and just like normal conversation. Often, though, if someone really wants to stay on topic they'll just post whatever they wanted to anyway - what's wrong with that?

Being a member of this forum is just like being a member of a gym club. You are subject to rules and must respect other people, staff and the building itself. There are some rules made for the minority, but they are what you accept when you sign up. Oh, and by the way, the staff of a gym can work out and use the facilities as a member when they're not working... extrapolate that to this forum as well.

I think that's my second metaphorical rant in 2 days... I must get a life.

 

[Motokid]

Guess what? This is called life. This is called reality.

You start a new job, move to a new town, go to a new school, or join a new forum you will be entering into a world that's been running without you. It will be up to you to decide how, where, and when you fit it. You can slink around in the background, or jump into the fire with both feet. You make of it what you choose to make of it. There will be many times you miss the jokes, and miss the inuendo's (spellling?) because you're new. Sooner or later you'll start to fit in, or you won't. It's entirely up to you. It's all in how you choose to interact.

If the people who are jumping ship because of a few threads apply this same thought process to other parts of their lives they must be very lonely people. The internet has some very seriously, offensive stuff going on in it. You choose to see it, or you choose to ignore it. There are plenty of books that are way more offensive than anything happening in this forum. You can avoid those books if you desire. The people who complain about "some" of the content here better get rid of their television, internet service, radio, newspapers, magazines and books. They'd better complain publically about the internet, tv, and library for having offensive content, and they better be all for censorship in every public medium.

Otherwise they are hypocrits for complaining about this forum.

Oops, they have to have the internet to be here...they are hypocrits for complaining. The internet has tons of pornography and tons of violent content that far and beyond makes anything going on here look way more than tame.

The members of this forum make it what it is. Everybody here has the power to alter it's course in whatever way they see fit. All they have to do is start their own threads. That's all. Then they can direct the discussions in anyway they see fit. Pretty cut & dry if you ask me. If you don't like it, you have the right, and the power to change it. If you think it stinks, then stick around and make it better.