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After the 3rd try I came up with this. Someone please tell me what you think
- Thread starter laboi_22
- Start date
Motokid
New Member
I am always amused by people who ask for help, critiques, and comments, but then lash back in anger when they get exactly what they ask for, unless of coarse the responce is "I love it" or "You should publish this".
You can post in this forum any time you want.
If you ask for comments you'd better be prepared to get them.
Do you want honesty, or would you prefer to have your hand held, and be lied to that we all love everything you write?
Since you've listed Dan Brown as a favorite author maybe you should try looking about this forum a bit, outside of asking people for help on your writing.
Do a search on Dan Brown and/or The Da Vinci Code in all the available forum areas. You'll find plenty of praise, and much more disgust towards what that guy wrote. Go look at the thread on "Name a Blockbuster you actually like" in the General book discussion area. You may be in for a surprise. Some people have different tastes in writing, and what they like.
There's more than a few people here that think Dan Brown can't write for shit and all his books should be burned, never to be read again. And I'm not one of those people.
You can post in this forum any time you want.
If you ask for comments you'd better be prepared to get them.
Do you want honesty, or would you prefer to have your hand held, and be lied to that we all love everything you write?
Since you've listed Dan Brown as a favorite author maybe you should try looking about this forum a bit, outside of asking people for help on your writing.
Do a search on Dan Brown and/or The Da Vinci Code in all the available forum areas. You'll find plenty of praise, and much more disgust towards what that guy wrote. Go look at the thread on "Name a Blockbuster you actually like" in the General book discussion area. You may be in for a surprise. Some people have different tastes in writing, and what they like.
There's more than a few people here that think Dan Brown can't write for shit and all his books should be burned, never to be read again. And I'm not one of those people.
clueless
New Member
laboi_22 said:
Do you mean that Motokid only reads children's books? Or that the fact of being a children's writer disqualifies someone as a reader? Do you think only writers read books? Because otherwise what you said does not make any sense.
Anyone can be a bad writer, whether for children or adults. Being a good writer is a completely different story. As I have not seen Motokid's book, I cannot say if he is good or bad. I don't understand why are you attacking Motokid. I think you had a few reviews from different people, not just from him.
About your expressions, I guess they make sense if you come from Louisiana. They sound as French expressions literally translated to English. Sometimes it is difficult to realise that you are speaking a dialect of a language until you meet people that speak another dialect or a standard version. There is nothing wrong with using dialectal expressions in dialogues, but I don't think it is a good idea for the narrator to use them, unless the narrator is one of the characters and happens to be from Louisiana.
Motokid
New Member
I am sorry laboi_22, after re-reading your original post it appears I was replying to the wrong thread. What I meant to say about laboi_22's writing and story-telling style was this:
It is superbly written, and remarkably entertaining. It provoked thoughts in my head that I've never had before and I look forward to the day that I can buy the book that will contain these passages.
Hope you will forgive me.
While your thinking about forgiving me go to this thread:
http://forums.thebookforum.com/showthread.php?t=6224
Have A Great Day.
It is superbly written, and remarkably entertaining. It provoked thoughts in my head that I've never had before and I look forward to the day that I can buy the book that will contain these passages.
Hope you will forgive me.
While your thinking about forgiving me go to this thread:
http://forums.thebookforum.com/showthread.php?t=6224
Have A Great Day.
Motokid
New Member
oh yeah, and don't forget to drop by and post here too:
http://forums.thebookforum.com/showthread.php?t=5994
http://forums.thebookforum.com/showthread.php?t=5994
Motokid
New Member
The reason I wanted a little more personal information was very simple. From your writting, and from your responces to some very mild, and constructive criticism, you appear to be very immature. If you were 12 or 13 years old the feedback you would require would be very different than if you were the age you are now. Since, in age only, you appear to be an adult, I feel no need to change anything I've said to date.
If you ask for criticism, and then beg for it over and over, you'd better be prepared to get it. And you should thank the people that give it to you. Plain and simple.
You've more than proven to me what kind of person you are, and how you think about the people who offer up help and advice to the very things you ask for, and beg for.
For someone who's not published anything "real", and has shown that he can't take even the mildest of criticism, I'm sure you'll be going real far with your writing.
Let us know when you publish your "real" novel.
If you ask for criticism, and then beg for it over and over, you'd better be prepared to get it. And you should thank the people that give it to you. Plain and simple.
You've more than proven to me what kind of person you are, and how you think about the people who offer up help and advice to the very things you ask for, and beg for.
For someone who's not published anything "real", and has shown that he can't take even the mildest of criticism, I'm sure you'll be going real far with your writing.
Let us know when you publish your "real" novel.
Motokid
New Member
Someone please tell me what you think
Is it that bad?
Someone please tell me what you think. Thanks!
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I think that’s exactly what I did.
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anyone and don't get upset by me saying this can be a children's book writer. A writer is not a writer if all they produce are children's books.
I though the purpose of this forum was to get reviewed by others with experience not children book writers.
but how can someone who only published a child's story book give advice to someone who is writing a novel. Write a real novel Motokid and then I'll respect your opinion until then your nothing to me but a children's book writer which doesn't warrent much respect from me.
Just because I don't respect you as a writer
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That’s not a personal attack by you at me? That’s not your little way of jabbing me?
That’s not condescending at all, or snobbish, or name calling?
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I don't want everyone to tell me my work is good. I just want again for you to tell me whats wrong with. Why you wouldn't read it if you had a choice. I don't want you to ask me what I want to accoplish here at the book forum that again is not your business. I'll post as many times as I want and I don't want or appricaite your negative input about it.
if you don't like it so be it BUT YOUR ATTACKING ME PERSONALLY. I have not done that to you.
Thanks everyone for your valued input and as far as i'm concerned and as immature as this may sound Motokid **** off!
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Nobody is forcing you to answer questions you don’t want to answer. I never attacked you personally, until you started attacking me personally, and attacking my opinion (which you asked for) simply because I have not written a “real” novel. I have not written a fake novel either.
If the only people you want to review your work are those that have written “real” novels, I would suggest that that is specifically what you ask for in your original posts when you ask for comments and critiques.
I have not responded in anger to any of your posts. I simply responded as a person who reads books to a person who wants to write books.
Laboi_22, you really need to take a few steps back and re-read all of your posts and threads, and all the responses. Maybe spend some time reading the threads I recommended earlier too? You’ll be surprised at some of the opinions people have around this forum.
Other than that, have no fear, I’ll not provide any more of my less-than-worthy “children’s book author” type comments to any more of your “real novel writing” questions, at least not until I can tell you can handle it like a man.
Is it that bad?
Someone please tell me what you think. Thanks!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think that’s exactly what I did.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
anyone and don't get upset by me saying this can be a children's book writer. A writer is not a writer if all they produce are children's books.
I though the purpose of this forum was to get reviewed by others with experience not children book writers.
but how can someone who only published a child's story book give advice to someone who is writing a novel. Write a real novel Motokid and then I'll respect your opinion until then your nothing to me but a children's book writer which doesn't warrent much respect from me.
Just because I don't respect you as a writer
--------------------------------------------------------------------
That’s not a personal attack by you at me? That’s not your little way of jabbing me?
That’s not condescending at all, or snobbish, or name calling?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't want everyone to tell me my work is good. I just want again for you to tell me whats wrong with. Why you wouldn't read it if you had a choice. I don't want you to ask me what I want to accoplish here at the book forum that again is not your business. I'll post as many times as I want and I don't want or appricaite your negative input about it.
if you don't like it so be it BUT YOUR ATTACKING ME PERSONALLY. I have not done that to you.
Thanks everyone for your valued input and as far as i'm concerned and as immature as this may sound Motokid **** off!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nobody is forcing you to answer questions you don’t want to answer. I never attacked you personally, until you started attacking me personally, and attacking my opinion (which you asked for) simply because I have not written a “real” novel. I have not written a fake novel either.
If the only people you want to review your work are those that have written “real” novels, I would suggest that that is specifically what you ask for in your original posts when you ask for comments and critiques.
I have not responded in anger to any of your posts. I simply responded as a person who reads books to a person who wants to write books.
Laboi_22, you really need to take a few steps back and re-read all of your posts and threads, and all the responses. Maybe spend some time reading the threads I recommended earlier too? You’ll be surprised at some of the opinions people have around this forum.
Other than that, have no fear, I’ll not provide any more of my less-than-worthy “children’s book author” type comments to any more of your “real novel writing” questions, at least not until I can tell you can handle it like a man.
Motokid
New Member
Ha! I thought you were done with my nonsence? I guess not.
I can only judge you based on what you've written in this forum. All of which has been:
"Read my stuff, and tell me what you think."
"Read my stuff, and tell me what you think."
"Read my stuff, and tell me what you think."
and then:
"How do I get published?"
"How do I get published?"
"How do I get published?"
You got some kind of wierd chip on your shoulder about me, for some odd reason that I can't figure out. I think it goes back to one of your "how do I get published" threads when I mentioned you might want to stop making redundant posts.
So I did not post anything in your threads until I read Stewart's critique. He asked about the phrase "passed him up" and if that was an American term or not. I confirmed that it was not. You then went on to confirm it's a very local term to your part of Louisiana. I merely pointed out it was awkward to read. As others did too by the way. You thanked them....hmmmmm.
I then asked about a few details. Not in any way a personal attack. If you had been a middle school student or a freshman in high school the types of critiques would differ than if you were a 50 year old. I wanted to know your intent of posting because if you were simply looking for advice on grammer that would be a different critique than if you wanted to know what we thought of the basic story line in general. None of this is a personal attack.
You decided to make things personal when you singled me out as the bad guy and then proceeded to attack me as a reader, by insisting that I don't have a valid point of view because I've only written a children's book, and that isn't real writting. Is Dan Brown a "real" writer? There's plenty of people here who would argue he's not, and then proceed to trash the living shit out of him. Are their opinions less valid because they've never written a novel?
I may not be a "real" writter (never claimed to be either), but I am a real reader, and that's who you are hoping will want to read your stuff isn't it?
You've got a lot of growing up to do laboi_22, and your posts, which is the only thing I can judge you by, prove this. A "real" writer would have enough command of the language they write in to not have to stoop to telling people to **** off or calling them idiots. I buy books and read them. I take them out of the library and read them. I am the perfect example of the person you want to have read your book. Why you chose to single me out is your business, calling a potential paying customer, with a very valid point of view ignorant is not the smartest thing you can do.
You don't hurt me at all with these comments, I'm enjoying the whole thing quite nicely, but you make yourself look like a fool. I can only arrange my thoughts about you by what you post here. When you put youself up on a pedistal because you're writting a novel (big deal by the way, thousands of people have done that, if not millions, I'm not impressed by that), and then throw me to the gutter because I have only written a children's book, that says a lot about your character. Making me the whipping boy when I'm not the only one to post comments that are not all happy-happy nice-nice shows a part of your character. Using profanity and name calling shows more of that character. So far I've not seen much more than negative aspects of laboi_22.
Laboi_22 is the only one here who can shape my perception of laboi_22. So far you've not done a great job.
I can only judge you based on what you've written in this forum. All of which has been:
"Read my stuff, and tell me what you think."
"Read my stuff, and tell me what you think."
"Read my stuff, and tell me what you think."
and then:
"How do I get published?"
"How do I get published?"
"How do I get published?"
You got some kind of wierd chip on your shoulder about me, for some odd reason that I can't figure out. I think it goes back to one of your "how do I get published" threads when I mentioned you might want to stop making redundant posts.
So I did not post anything in your threads until I read Stewart's critique. He asked about the phrase "passed him up" and if that was an American term or not. I confirmed that it was not. You then went on to confirm it's a very local term to your part of Louisiana. I merely pointed out it was awkward to read. As others did too by the way. You thanked them....hmmmmm.
I then asked about a few details. Not in any way a personal attack. If you had been a middle school student or a freshman in high school the types of critiques would differ than if you were a 50 year old. I wanted to know your intent of posting because if you were simply looking for advice on grammer that would be a different critique than if you wanted to know what we thought of the basic story line in general. None of this is a personal attack.
You decided to make things personal when you singled me out as the bad guy and then proceeded to attack me as a reader, by insisting that I don't have a valid point of view because I've only written a children's book, and that isn't real writting. Is Dan Brown a "real" writer? There's plenty of people here who would argue he's not, and then proceed to trash the living shit out of him. Are their opinions less valid because they've never written a novel?
I may not be a "real" writter (never claimed to be either), but I am a real reader, and that's who you are hoping will want to read your stuff isn't it?
You've got a lot of growing up to do laboi_22, and your posts, which is the only thing I can judge you by, prove this. A "real" writer would have enough command of the language they write in to not have to stoop to telling people to **** off or calling them idiots. I buy books and read them. I take them out of the library and read them. I am the perfect example of the person you want to have read your book. Why you chose to single me out is your business, calling a potential paying customer, with a very valid point of view ignorant is not the smartest thing you can do.
You don't hurt me at all with these comments, I'm enjoying the whole thing quite nicely, but you make yourself look like a fool. I can only arrange my thoughts about you by what you post here. When you put youself up on a pedistal because you're writting a novel (big deal by the way, thousands of people have done that, if not millions, I'm not impressed by that), and then throw me to the gutter because I have only written a children's book, that says a lot about your character. Making me the whipping boy when I'm not the only one to post comments that are not all happy-happy nice-nice shows a part of your character. Using profanity and name calling shows more of that character. So far I've not seen much more than negative aspects of laboi_22.
Laboi_22 is the only one here who can shape my perception of laboi_22. So far you've not done a great job.
Motokid
New Member
oh, yeah,.... and your welcome. (for taking the time to read your story, and think about it, and comment on it)
You've got the villian with the sinister voice, and murderous capability driving the worlds most conservative, and quite small car. I would think a larger SUV or pick-up truck would be better, or at least a full size sedan like a Crown Victoria, or Impala? The SUV idea would put the headlights right into the back of the Isuzu wouldn't it? Then flashing the brights would cause more of a panic in the driver. Since you mentioned flashing yellow lights maybe the villian is driving one of those state owned construction trucks or a larger tow truck? I assume the Isuzu is one of the smaller versions and not the SUV or Mini-van, in which case the Accord would have a hard time causing it to spin out in the rain without wrecking the Accord at the same time.
A little more food for thought...
You've got the villian with the sinister voice, and murderous capability driving the worlds most conservative, and quite small car. I would think a larger SUV or pick-up truck would be better, or at least a full size sedan like a Crown Victoria, or Impala? The SUV idea would put the headlights right into the back of the Isuzu wouldn't it? Then flashing the brights would cause more of a panic in the driver. Since you mentioned flashing yellow lights maybe the villian is driving one of those state owned construction trucks or a larger tow truck? I assume the Isuzu is one of the smaller versions and not the SUV or Mini-van, in which case the Accord would have a hard time causing it to spin out in the rain without wrecking the Accord at the same time.
A little more food for thought...
sirmyk
New Member
Enough...
Okay, so we all realize he needs a little help in the English department...
Reading this thread made me laugh... and made me think of bickerings between children. It's one thing to bash someone's writing, but it's another to bash spelling and grammar when the one doing the bashing is worse than the one getting the bashing. I got a kick out of Motokid's pitiful reponses (or responces) and constant misspellings and grammar (grammer) errors. Here's a list for your enjoyment, Moto :
"grammer" (that's what I call my grandmother... 'grammer)
"writting" (rhymes with sitting)
"writter" (rhymes with sitter)
"responces" (when did 'c' become part of 'response'?)
"youself" (no comment, probably a typo caused by rage)
"pedistal" (...try again?)
"wierd" (yes, the spelling of 'weird' is weird)
"nonsence" (sure is, spelled this way)
"villian" (villain, or minivan?)
"refering" (...yeah)
"the worlds most" (damn apostrophes)
"It makes me stop and read it at least twice since." (WTF?)
"I wondered why the dudes head is bleeding?" (is this even a question?)
"show an intent to pass" ('an intent' huh?)
"I, personally would probably not read much more of this if it's continued in the same fashion." (again, WTF?)
"where you're going with the constantly asking for opinion after opinion" (huh?) (...'going with the constantly asking for'? HA!)
"the general story itself" (I'll let the story's brain know that you care)
"There's more than a few people" (yes, there are)
"unless of coarse the responce" (wrong course, wrong spelling of response)
"While your thinking about forgiving me" (...I'll be thinking about 'you are')
Motokid... if you're going to bash another about misspellings and grammar, <edit>!
edited by ell
Okay, so we all realize he needs a little help in the English department...Reading this thread made me laugh... and made me think of bickerings between children. It's one thing to bash someone's writing, but it's another to bash spelling and grammar when the one doing the bashing is worse than the one getting the bashing. I got a kick out of Motokid's pitiful reponses (or responces) and constant misspellings and grammar (grammer) errors. Here's a list for your enjoyment, Moto :
"grammer" (that's what I call my grandmother... 'grammer)
"writting" (rhymes with sitting)
"writter" (rhymes with sitter)
"responces" (when did 'c' become part of 'response'?)
"youself" (no comment, probably a typo caused by rage)
"pedistal" (...try again?)
"wierd" (yes, the spelling of 'weird' is weird)
"nonsence" (sure is, spelled this way)
"villian" (villain, or minivan?)
"refering" (...yeah)
"the worlds most" (damn apostrophes)
"It makes me stop and read it at least twice since." (WTF?)
"I wondered why the dudes head is bleeding?" (is this even a question?)
"show an intent to pass" ('an intent' huh?)
"I, personally would probably not read much more of this if it's continued in the same fashion." (again, WTF?)
"where you're going with the constantly asking for opinion after opinion" (huh?) (...'going with the constantly asking for'? HA!)
"the general story itself" (I'll let the story's brain know that you care)
"There's more than a few people" (yes, there are)
"unless of coarse the responce" (wrong course, wrong spelling of response)
"While your thinking about forgiving me" (...I'll be thinking about 'you are')
Motokid... if you're going to bash another about misspellings and grammar, <edit>!
edited by ell
Motokid
New Member
Here, let me help you sirmyk. Go here -> http://forums.thebookforum.com/showthread.php?t=5994
You've dropped in on an old thread that's been completely revised by laboi_22. We were having a bit of a row for a few days, but it's all been worked out. Laboi_22 then went back and totally removed all his comments. I left mine untouched. So you really don't have much appreciation for the entire thread if you read it now. I'm cool with that. I don't care. I know that reading this thread now really makes me look like an ass. Laboi_22 called me names too, but he's since apologized, as I did to him, and now we've moved on.
Regardless of how well I can spell, or how well I am able to use proper grammar, I'm not the one asking for help in this situation. As long as I can get my point across, my spelling, grammar, fragments and poor use of comma's are of no importance. I'm not the one who's looking for a future writing novels and asking for help. When I ask for help I'll certainly be thankful for all the nitpicking about spelling and grammar. And I'll thank you and everybody else for reading my work, and offering all the help that's given.
I am not really sure I did much bashing on spelling, and I'm real sure I never said anything about grammar, since I've admitted on numerous occasions that I can't grammar my way out of a wet paper bag.
I didn't get to read all your comments since ell did a bit of editing. Too bad. I'm sure they were loving, caring, and sweet. Hope you have a great day, and I look forward to having more fun conversations with you in the future.
You've dropped in on an old thread that's been completely revised by laboi_22. We were having a bit of a row for a few days, but it's all been worked out. Laboi_22 then went back and totally removed all his comments. I left mine untouched. So you really don't have much appreciation for the entire thread if you read it now. I'm cool with that. I don't care. I know that reading this thread now really makes me look like an ass. Laboi_22 called me names too, but he's since apologized, as I did to him, and now we've moved on.
Regardless of how well I can spell, or how well I am able to use proper grammar, I'm not the one asking for help in this situation. As long as I can get my point across, my spelling, grammar, fragments and poor use of comma's are of no importance. I'm not the one who's looking for a future writing novels and asking for help. When I ask for help I'll certainly be thankful for all the nitpicking about spelling and grammar. And I'll thank you and everybody else for reading my work, and offering all the help that's given.
I am not really sure I did much bashing on spelling, and I'm real sure I never said anything about grammar, since I've admitted on numerous occasions that I can't grammar my way out of a wet paper bag.
I didn't get to read all your comments since ell did a bit of editing. Too bad. I'm sure they were loving, caring, and sweet. Hope you have a great day, and I look forward to having more fun conversations with you in the future.
Wow
Well this is interesting. Thanks for the stick up sirmyk but I really don't recall Motokid pointing out much spelling errors. Mostly the errors in spelling were called to my attention by stewart i think. It really urks him that I mispelled the word prolouge. anyway like motokid stated in the previous post as long as your point comes across on TBF it dosen't really matter does it. We are not writing novels when posting general comments on this fourm and this forum dosen't have a spell check like Word does. God only know how bad my spelling would be without it. Anyway keep the comments coming guys I'm luving it!
PS- I was made to remove my comments to motokid because of a private message from a moderator. Anyway all is over. I didn't remove my comments motokid to make you look like an ass. Sorry if you felt that way. Anyway good day all!
Well this is interesting. Thanks for the stick up sirmyk but I really don't recall Motokid pointing out much spelling errors. Mostly the errors in spelling were called to my attention by stewart i think. It really urks him that I mispelled the word prolouge. anyway like motokid stated in the previous post as long as your point comes across on TBF it dosen't really matter does it. We are not writing novels when posting general comments on this fourm and this forum dosen't have a spell check like Word does. God only know how bad my spelling would be without it. Anyway keep the comments coming guys I'm luving it!
PS- I was made to remove my comments to motokid because of a private message from a moderator. Anyway all is over. I didn't remove my comments motokid to make you look like an ass. Sorry if you felt that way. Anyway good day all!
Stewart
Active Member
laboi_22 said:
Of course it irks me because you are posting to a forum looking for critique on your writing and I expect to see perfect English unless your protagonist is speaking in a particular dialect a la James Kelman or Irvine Welsh.
I don't believe you are typing the fiction directly to the forum so your claim that the forum does not have a spellchecker isn't a particularly strong point. I do believe you are typing it into a word processor before copying and pasting your text to this forum. Is the spellchecker turned on?
This is a very ignorant comment for a number of reasons.
This is a book forum; a forum about the written word. It makes sense that a good command of English is demonstrated.
There are people on this forum for whom English is not their first language - admittedly a number are very fluent - and it can be harder for them to understand what the hell is being said when they see words spelt incorrectly - do they know it's spelt incorrectly or do they see it as a new word to look up in their dictionary?
Ultimately, it reflects on you. It makes you look lazy, uneducated, and shows a lack of respect as repeat offences in spelling demonstrate that you are not making an effort to communicate effectively.
My advice now is don't be in too much of a hurry to post your point of view, advice, question, or response. Write your message, check it over, and then post. It really does make the difference when you think of others - save them from having to decipher your garbled mess.