Any ideas?

[DontGoAway17]

Get up every three hours tonight and make scary noises from the bathroom.

Hahahaha

Best suggestion yet! Very funny

I have the same problem Halo, I think I am incapable of being firm for fear of hurting thier feelings. If I was in your position, I would probably become less and less hospitable. Until I show how irritated I actually am.

But as an advice giver, I would say (combining past suggestions ) something like "I've been meaning to ask, how much longer you plan to stay, its just that I have got used to living alone/my wife and I need to be on our own. Hope you understand etc

Well good luck! I'll be praying for you if you decided to take the more assertive route

 

[Peronel]

Do you know of anyone that the lazy one hates? You could take a fake phone call and then rush into the room and say "Guess what! Such-and-such is coming to stay for two whole weeks. She needs somewhere to rest with her broken leg, so the two of you can hang out on the couch!"

If she's as selfish and self-centred as she sounds, she'll be gone in a flash.

 

[Halo]

I've been thinking this over - you said 'our' so i'm assuming you live with your other half - get him to tell them

Unfortunately, everyone else in the house is even more pathetic than me at this kind of thing, so if anything is going to be said, it'll be me saying it.

I would suggest rehearsing with the couch potato how the situation came about -- a request to stay for a bit and then move on, or whatever -- and then point out that you have more than satsified your part of the agreement. (Wave the letter at her if it was in writing).

Peder - foolishly, we didn't make the length of their stay with us a concrete agreement. I guess this was because a) they said they would be travelling around, and b) we didn't think it would be necessary with relatives, and that they would know when they were outstaying their welcome. How wrong can you be?!

Get up every three hours tonight and make scary noises from the bathroom. Then, lay about all day tomorrow. Tell them "something fierce is going round the office". I bet they practically run!

That's another one onto the possibles list!

For me, I would rather "suffer" a couple more weeks rather than lose close friends.

Muggle and steffee: I know, that's why I feel guilty. "It's only for four weeks," I say, "and they've come such a long way to see us." But four weeks can seem like a hell of a long time sometimes! I can't accompany the adventurous one on her travels, because I can't get the time off work.

Serve them terrible food.

Some nice suggestions there novella, especially this one. Nice and non-confrontational!

why go visit a country and stay in one spot forever, what a waste...

Zen, I couldn't agree more. I can see this, others can see this, so why can't they?

But I think you may just put up with them for the rest of their stay and when they are leaving you will say to them....it was lovely having you, do come again.........and they will. .

You're probably right!

I have the same problem Halo, I think I am incapable of being firm for fear of hurting thier feelings. If I was in your position, I would probably become less and less hospitable. Until I show how irritated I actually am.

That's probably what'll happen, as I hate confronting people and feel guilty about hurting their feelings.

Peronel, great idea, but I can't think of anyone who fits the bill.

Well, today I made sure I was reading the glossy brochures about Scotland etc when they came in, and managed to get into a discussion with the adventurous one about where I would suggest, and what routes. So maybe I might yet wave them off onto the next stage, without having to actually confront them! I know, I'm a coward.

Thanks for all the advice everyone, it has been very interesting and useful. Of those in the "be blunt" camp, how many have actually done this? Did your honesty cause lasting offence? And did you care?!

 

[pontalba]

Halo In my case, it was not a relative, but a good friend of my Aunt. The friend stayed with me while my Aunt was out of town.
She drove me up the wall! I finally told her thats IT, you are going to your daughters (they could not stand each other, but it was a safe place for her), packed her things, and drove her over there.
More important, my Aunt said later that she didn't know how I put up with her friend for as long as I did! LOL
No hard feelings down the road. The friend didn't like it, but at that point, my own peace of mind was more important than hers. Selfish? Maybe, but I don't really think so. I consider Her the selfish one that intruded on my home.

And thats what you have to remember. Its Your Home. Your santuary.
It all boils down to what you can and want to put up with.

They are being insensitive to say the least, and probably are getting a kick out of playing you for a sucker. IMHO.

But I am cynical.

 

[StillILearn]

Call a plumber and have him turn the water off?

 

[zen]

Of those in the "be blunt" camp, how many have actually done this? Did your honesty cause lasting offence? And did you care?!

i am known for being 'blunt' - some have a different word for this trait of mine.. (grin) so no friend or family member is too surprised when i am honest with them on issues others might skirt around..

life is too short.........

 

[Halo]

Call a plumber and have him turn the water off?

Not a bad idea, but what about us?

One of my colleagues has gone off sick with chickenpox, so I'm going to go home tonight, loudly announce this fact and see if that has the desired effect!

 

[abecedarian]

Not a bad idea, but what about us?

One of my colleagues has gone off sick with chickenpox, so I'm going to go home tonight, loudly announce this fact and see if that has the desired effect!

I've learned that insensitive people usually don't scare easily! Try having a friend pop in unexpectedly and tell you she's broke and homeless. I offered to keep her for a few days, and that stretched into over a month..She didn't mind kicking my toddler out of his bunk bed, nor did she mind that 'her' room didn't have a door (long story). She didn't mind telling my kids how they ought to behave, or asking me to do something about the toddler who liked to talk in his sleep I could go on, but I would just sound bitter..She offered to pay us a small amount per month for her room and board, but we knew that would only encourage her to stay longer and feel she had squatter's right. We kept encouraging her to find a place, and she finally wound up in a church-run women's shelter. Now she's remarried, and they have a place of their own..

 

[Shade]

Getting rid of unwelcome guests is a great premise for a short story.

Indeed: Muriel Spark's The Snobs is a great example of this.

Halo: have you considered the benefits of the mock-misunderstanding?

You (casually): "So when are you moving on?"

Them (with a matey laugh): "Are you chucking us out?!"

You: "Haha, no of course not, I meant when are you going to do all that sightseeing you came over for? Although now you mention it, I only ever thought you were staying with us for the first week or so. Why not head off to X, Y and Z this week and next, and then come back and stay with us again for the last day before you head back. It would be lovely to see you again before you go, and it'll give us time to get our batteries recharged so we can see you off properly. NOW IN THE NAME OF GOD, GO! YOU HAVE DELIGHTED US FOR LONG ENOUGH!"

Do keep us informed...

 

[Wabbit]

Throw a BBQ and poison their food

 

[muggle]

Whatever action you take make sure that it is not something you will regret later.

 

[Stewart]

Put ketchup in their socks.

 

[abecedarian]

Put ketchup in their socks.

One of my kids, she was old enough to know better..threw our guest's denture container in the toilet while she was away She made the mistake of laughing about it in front of her dad and I. As exasperated as we were with this friend, we could not allow something like this. But we didn't make the little boys pick up their room(her room) too much..and they had lots of Legos at the time

 

[Halo]

Bah. They did not turn a hair at the chickenpox threat (you were right, abc).

Shade: I really like your suggestion. That is the one I would be most likely to use (if I could ever gather my nerve enough to do it )

Throw a BBQ and poison their food

Tempting, but if they're ill they certainly won't feel like moving on, will they?

Whatever action you take make sure that it is not something you will regret later.

Wise words, Muggle, but will I regret not taking action even more?

Put ketchup in their socks.

Again; tempting.

Well, thank you everyone for all your ideas. I have more than enough to choose from. The problem now lies with the fact that I hate confrontation, but I will gather my courage to say something soon. I'll keep you posted!