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Do u Haiku?

GreenKnight

GreenKnight

New Member
Recently I've found that writing Haiku is a great way to unwind. I'm not entirely convinced you can do a proper Haiku in English, but here are some of my clumsy efforts:


unexpectedly
a dolphin in the shallows
and no towel


rows of cold gravestones
jutting from unfeeling clay
back from the dentist


the cup of the cliff
endlessly filling with surf
perfect emptiness


video blinking zeroes
this new house
is a long way from home


-----------------
 
I like your haikus! There are probably hardcore haikuists (just made up that word) who would claim that you can't write haikus in english or that the syllables have to be exactly the right number or whatever, but from other modern haikus I've read the rules seem rather blurred. I think haikus are a really great form of poetry, very to the point, as your haikus show :) . It's also a great way to train yourself to say a lot with only a few words.
 
GreenKnight said:
rows of cold gravestones
jutting from unfeeling clay
back from the dentist
Click to expand...

I like this one lots.
All of them are very good.
You must teach me now.


How was that???? I know, I suck. I am a terrible poet, and I know it. ;)
Yours are very good, though. Keep writing!
 
GreenKnight: Those were great! They did what I think is the thing that good haikus do: capture a scene or a feeling in very few, very well-chosen words. :)

veggiedog said:
I like this one lots.
All of them are very good.
You must teach me now.
Click to expand...

This one was great too! :D


*mrkgnao*
 
mrkgnao said:
This one was great too! :D
Click to expand...

I can't decide whether you are serious or not, mrkgnao, so I will take no offense (for your sake).

GreenKnight, where did you learn to write haikus? Did you teach yourself, use a book, or learn from someone else? Or are you just naturally talented (if you are, I hate you! :mad: ;) )? I would like to learn.
 
veggiedog said:
I can't decide whether you are serious or not, mrkgnao, so I will take no offense (for your sake).
Click to expand...

I promise I didn't mean any offence! Yours was a meta-haiku, and I love all things meta-. :)


*mrkgnao*
 
veggiedog said:
GreenKnight, where did you learn to write haikus? Did you teach yourself, use a book, or learn from someone else? Or are you just naturally talented (if you are, I hate you! :mad: ;) )? I would like to learn.
Click to expand...


I'll take that as the compliment you intend!
I guess I just got into the habit of them, and wanted to learn more about how they are made. I'm still wondering if I 'do it right' as there are apparently very subtle rules to haiku (the general principle being 'as many restrictions as possible' it would seem!)

The basic idea would seem to be, 'capture a single feeling or thought in snapshot'. Preferably in some sort of non-personal way. I never set out to write any of my haiku - I don't think I can do them deliberately. They come out of moments of reflection - which I then hack into shape! :)

For example, the one about the new house and the video above... that popped into my head in the week I moved house, saw that we still hadn't set the video clock, and thought miserably about how much I didn't feel at home yet. (Most of the others are 'true' too, like the dolphin one. It was October and I took ages to dry...!)
 
veggiedog said:
I like this one lots.
All of them are very good.
You must teach me now.


How was that???? I know, I suck. I am a terrible poet, and I know it. ;)
Yours are very good, though. Keep writing!
Click to expand...
Hmm. That reminds me of a shirt I have. It says:
I love poetry,
Long walks on the beach,
Poking dead things with a stick.
It has 17 syllables, but it's 5-5-7 instead of 5-7-5.
 
I used to have ten or twelve pornographic haikus.

I can't find them now
But I think they were funny
Let me remember
 
I do not haiku
Minimal form eludes me
._._.
Click to expand...

^^^This. is. so. awesome.
I'll make this a haiku too --
Wow -- look at me go!

hehe :) I promise I'm not mocking the haiku form...I just have the rhythm of 5-7-5 ingrained in me like a song from when I learned about haikus in grade school and we had to try to write 'em, so it's fun every once in a while to say normal prosey type stuff in a strict form like that. :)

D
 
This is a very funny series of haiku written between me and ValkyrieRaven88.

My eyes bleed with tears.
I see nothing anymore
When will I end this?

Even your haiku
Are terribly depressing.
How do you do it?

We understand none
And believe in way too much
In our endless void.

You only reply,
In yet another riddle.
Are you mocking me?

The smallest idea
Can flourish into mayhem.
Don't let that happen.

I knew it! I knew!
You make me appear foolish
To amuse yourself.

What things appear are
Opposite of the truth, and
You are not foolish!

I do not care, sir.
You see, we're fighting.
This is your reward.
(And besides, we've run out of room on the paper.)

Writing that was a fun pastime at a boring event. I hope you enjoyed our peculiar taste in fun.
 
Vespertilio91 said:
This is a very funny series of haiku written between me and ValkyrieRaven88.

My eyes bleed with tears.
I see nothing anymore
When will I end this?

Even your haiku
Are terribly depressing.
How do you do it?

We understand none
And believe in way too much
In our endless void.

You only reply,
In yet another riddle.
Are you mocking me?

The smallest idea
Can flourish into mayhem.
Don't let that happen.

I knew it! I knew!
You make me appear foolish
To amuse yourself.

What things appear are
Opposite of the truth, and
You are not foolish!

I do not care, sir.
You see, we're fighting.
This is your reward.
(And besides, we've run out of room on the paper.)

Writing that was a fun pastime at a boring event. I hope you enjoyed our peculiar taste in fun.
Click to expand...


I did indeed. ;)
 
A few more from the knicht of the grene chapelle...


the street lamp’s chalice
holds one vermilion drop
as the sunset drains


alone with the stars
briefly
and a wheely-bin


vapour clouds
from the obliterated
ant city


the attic cassette
spins dusty muffled music
ruminating


-------
 
Vespertilio91 said:
This is a very funny series of haiku written between me and ValkyrieRaven88.

My eyes bleed with tears.
I see nothing anymore
When will I end this?

Even your haiku
Are terribly depressing.
How do you do it?

We understand none
And believe in way too much
In our endless void.

You only reply,
In yet another riddle.
Are you mocking me?

The smallest idea
Can flourish into mayhem.
Don't let that happen.

I knew it! I knew!
You make me appear foolish
To amuse yourself.

What things appear are
Opposite of the truth, and
You are not foolish!

I do not care, sir.
You see, we're fighting.
This is your reward.
(And besides, we've run out of room on the paper.)

Writing that was a fun pastime at a boring event. I hope you enjoyed our peculiar taste in fun.
Click to expand...
Aw, I almost forgot about those. We were like laughing hysterically writing them.
 
ValkyrieRaven88 said:
Aw, I almost forgot about those. We were like laughing hysterically writing them.
Click to expand...

YAY! YOU READ THEM VALKYRIE.

These were so much fun. I altered them a little to preserve certain details but they are technically the same. We were SOOOOOO bored that day. I loved writing them. We should do this for a living.:D :D :D :D
 
Vespertilio91 said:
YAY! YOU READ THEM VALKYRIE.

These were so much fun. I altered them a little to preserve certain details but they are technically the same. We were SOOOOOO bored that day. I loved writing them. We should do this for a living.:D :D :D :D
Click to expand...
I think we would wind up starving.
 
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