Favorite Jokes

[MrTBOBBY]

I looked but didn't see a joke thread, I don't know if I didn't look hard enough or there isn't a joke thread, but I thought I would make one.

I'll start

So there is a Jewish Rabbi, a Catholic Priest, and a Baptist Minister at a religion conference. During the break, these three men were talking about religion over their drinks. Through the discussion, the three clergy decided that the best way to determine who was the best at their profession would be the first one to convert a bear. So the next week when the conference had resumed, they met again during the break to boast of their successes. The Catholic minister said, "I'm the best, I found my bear in the woods and I had the bowl of Holy Water with me and I just threw it in his face!" The Baptist minister simply scowls and says: "That's nothing, I found my bear trying to catch fish by the river, so I snuck up behind him and pushed him in! Then they look to the Jewish Rabbi who is wrapped up in a full body cast on a gurney. The Priest and Minister both ask: "What happened to you?" The Rabbi looks into the distance and says with a sigh, "You know, looking back, I probably shouldn't have started with circumcision.

 

[753C]

Ha! I love it. I love (good) jokes with a passion. Nice thread MrTBobby. I'll post in when I'm not at work.... :whistling:

 

[beer good]

Continuing the theme...

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God."

The rabbi continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then he hands the bottle to the priest.

The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest. The priest asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The rabbi replies, "No...I think I'll wait for the police."

 

[Disenthral]

oldie but goodie...
"how did they know jeffery dahmer had dandruff......



he had head n shoulders in his bathroom"

 

[753C]

A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get you?"
The baby seal says "anything but a Canadian Club........"