If you could design a justice system

[nyse]

I will own the sole rights to manufacture and distribution of laminated cards.

If you measure your self worth in terms of net wealth, then you'll never amount to anything.

 

[Litany]

I'm in Europe. We use the metric system.

 

[beer good]

I will own the sole rights to manufacture and distribution of laminated cards.

But what if I design, manifacture and distribute a laminated card that says "LAMINATED CARD COPYRIGHT VIOLATION"?

 

[silverseason]

But what if I design, manifacture and distribute a laminated card that says "LAMINATED CARD COPYRIGHT VIOLATION"?

I think the card should be one of those holographic images which change depending on your angle. Then one card could cover multiple offenses, and the crime would be in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Litany]

But what if I design, manifacture and distribute a laminated card that says "LAMINATED CARD COPYRIGHT VIOLATION"?

You forgot the hat. HA! It's ten years' hard labour in the treacle mines for you.

 

[beer good]

You forgot the hat. HA! It's ten years' hard labour in the treacle mines for you.

I beg to differ. I used the word "that", which as everyone knows is contraction of "the hat." You just don't see it because you're a SLAVE.

 

[Kenny Shovel]

...I used the word "that", which as everyone knows is contraction of "the hat."....

This is why I never wear a "Tweed Hat". Well, one of the reasons anyway.

 

[Litany]

I beg to differ. I used the word "that", which as everyone knows is contraction of "the hat." You just don't see it because you're a SLAVE.

That's exactly the sort of thing that Hitler would say.

 

[beer good]

That's exactly the sort of thing that Hitler would say.

Which reminds me of this lovely little ditty by the esteemed Stephen Lynch.

 

[Zolipara]

Hats would be INTRINSIC to my system. If you were planning on committing a crime I would make it be the law that you had to wear a hat with the name of the crime you were about to commit on it.

Career criminals could purchase hats with laminated cards on the front so they could change the name of their crime more easily. Or they could steal the hats. But only if they already owned a 'HAT THEFT' hat, otherwise it would be an illegal theft.

I will own the sole rights to manufacture and distribution of laminated cards.

I did that once when i travelled to america. I had to tick a box on a card if i intended to commit a crime or terrorist activities during my visit. Would be even better if i could wear that as a hat.

 

[helgi]

I think a system with these criterias could exist, that all lawyers would work as either advocates or jury members, and all jury members would be lawyers. If pay for lawyers was solved by policy or law, and made regular, they could be employed as both jury and advocates, paid by the government. Fees from the plaintiff and defense would go to the government.
..this idea is concerned with replacing commisioned lawyers, which are not understood as a just provision, and layman juries.

 

[helgi]

I beg to differ. I used the word "that", which as everyone knows is contraction of "the hat." You just don't see it because you're a SLAVE.

then 5 years right in the treacle mines instead of 10? keep your exploits under your hat?

 

[helgi]

I'm in Europe. We use the metric system.

hi Litany, I'm Helgi. I use the metric system

 

[Litany]

Do you have that written on your hat?

 

[helgi]

Do you have that written on your hat?

is it a crime? I will gladly throw myself upon the tender mercy of the court, I'm the mad hatter

 

[BeerWench13]

Could we get a few hats in different colors? I mean if you only get one hat, then what happens when it clashes with your outfit or when you need to wash it? Does that mean you can commit no crimes that day? That would just plain suck since laundry day is already a massive pain in tass.

Also, would you have to call in for a new card and wait for snailmail to deliver it or would they be electronic. I mean, if I catch my better half in bed with another woman, I'm gonna need a "dismemberment" card PDQ!

 

[Litany]

The cards are laminated, so you can wipe them clean. And hats will be available in all colours. I don't want anyone committing an inadvertent crime against fashion.

 

[sparkchaser]

Easily cleaned cards will come in handy after I use them to commit acts against a person that will not be tolerated. The act or the person.

 

[BeerWench13]

I think the real chuckle I get from this whole idea is imagining someone in a murderous rage searching frantically for their hat, card and marker

 

[Litany]

By which time they may have calmed down enough to avert disaster. My system is flawless.