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Inappropriate language
- Thread starter Kookamoor
- Start date
abecedarian
Well-Known Member
Sergo said:
it is a fact that when kids reach a certain stage in their development, they will try to assert their independence. Dress code and language are just two issues that pop up. Each family has to establish what is acceptable for them, and it is important for parents to realize that even while they're pushing al these buttons, kids want and need boundaries. If the boundaries keep moving, they get confused. And don't think one talk will take care of any issue once and for all..they WILL push the envelope on all fronts!
Ronny
Well-Known Member
Kookamoor said:Sure. If you get a warning I'll take it for you, because quite clearly I goaded you into it. Mind you, you will receive a lecture from me about, "If all you friends jumped off a bridge, would you...?"
Of course I would, who wants to be left alone on top of the bridge looking at their squashed friends
Ronny said:My poor son, I usually try to cover up the really offensive music by turning up my own a wee bit or singing along louder to what we are listening to. In the case of my singing the rap lyrics may be the less of two evils
mike walks around singing "that stuffs banana's b-a-n-a-n-a-s because the version i have on the comp isn't editted. so when it gets to the s**t part i yell out stuff at the top of my lungs.
i am damaging him somehow, i am sure.
and no cracks about the damage being from listening to gwen, i am very aware of people's feelings on this matter.
Ronny
Well-Known Member
jenngorham said:mike walks around singing "that stuffs banana's b-a-n-a-n-a-s because the version i have on the comp isn't editted. so when it gets to the s**t part i yell out stuff at the top of my lungs.
i am damaging him somehow, i am sure.
and no cracks about the damage being from listening to gwen, i am very aware of people's feelings on this matter.
Gwen isn't so bad my son listens to the spice girls and enjoys it
I worry about him.This sort of reminds me of that scene in a Christmas story were he said the F word and his mom made him sit there with a bar of soap in his mouth. My dad was like that, if you used dirty words you got your mouth washed out. I still don't cuss around him either. I've never washed my son's mouth out but I've told him of when my dad did it to me. Now I can just say don't make me tell Grandpa.
abecedarian
Well-Known Member
sirmyk said:
eeeewwwww! That's child abuse
abecedarian
Well-Known Member
I've heard of people putting alum powder on their kid's tongue as a punishment for bad language..
I didn't threaten my oldest two that I'd put socks in their mouths if they didn't shut up..they didn't.. so I did..for minute or two...desperate times...maybe I should slink away to the Therapy thread now
I didn't threaten my oldest two that I'd put socks in their mouths if they didn't shut up..they didn't.. so I did..for minute or two...desperate times...maybe I should slink away to the Therapy thread now
Ronny
Well-Known Member
abecedarian said:I've heard of people putting alum powder on their kid's tongue as a punishment for bad language..
I didn't threaten my oldest two that I'd put socks in their mouths if they didn't shut up..they didn't.. so I did..for minute or two...desperate times...maybe I should slink away to the Therapy thread now
My son pays me a dollar or a hot wheel for his bad words, doesn't happen often but he's let a few slip now and then. Not for awhile but I've also been watching what I say around him more than I had.
novella
Active Member
I taught my kid how to curse effectively when he was about eleven, but he has to save it for appropriate occassions.
I taught him the main principles, which are: to stay away from cliches, be creative, only offend your target (i.e., be precise and unbigotted), don't repeat yourself, and don't wear your best words out. The lesson has served him well. Now he knows he can use whatever language he thinks will work best in each situation. Just on principle, it's better to call someone a hairy arachnid pederast than a shithead.
Some people might think this is wrong-headed, but I assume that everyone will use whatever language they choose to when they're older. I'm from a big family from NYC, and I'm glad I know how to talk back. I just want him to know how to use it powerfully and not be one of those young men who say '****' all day long just because they can't put an original idea together.
I taught him the main principles, which are: to stay away from cliches, be creative, only offend your target (i.e., be precise and unbigotted), don't repeat yourself, and don't wear your best words out. The lesson has served him well. Now he knows he can use whatever language he thinks will work best in each situation. Just on principle, it's better to call someone a hairy arachnid pederast than a shithead.
Some people might think this is wrong-headed, but I assume that everyone will use whatever language they choose to when they're older. I'm from a big family from NYC, and I'm glad I know how to talk back. I just want him to know how to use it powerfully and not be one of those young men who say '****' all day long just because they can't put an original idea together.
Sergo
New Member
Motokid said:
You know, I think the best way with children (and teenagers especially) is not to look down at them. So when our daughter wants to buy boots on a very high heels, my wife tells her she may hate it to wear them because it is much harder than to wear mocassins, and I tell her that to pay $400 for a pair of boots is not the best way to spend money. But she wants them anyway - OK, we buy them. (Last year has been very profitable for me, so I decided $400 not too big a sum to spend on teaching her a lesson). So she weared them two or three times in nearly a year, and now she understands that her mother gives useful advices sometimes, and after we bought her a less expensive mobile phone than the one she wanted because too much money were spent on the boots - I think she understands better about our finances...
The same is with the miniskirts: I explained her about certain feelings men have when seeing girls in such garments, thinking sometimes that these girls are really seeking for adventures... I think she understood that too, so the miniskirts are weared only when my wife can drive the daughter to school in a car, and pick her up after lessons are over... That's not our order, you know - daughter asks her mother to do so.
And, I think that just a plain NO can have a very different result - teenagers will do as they want it, but trying not to let you know it - and that would be much worse, in my opinion...
Sergo
New Member
abecedarian said:
I see what you mean, but, from another point of view, it would seem natural to set different boundaries for a girl of 5 years and a girl of 15 years...
Really, I think that all that is parenting about - is to train our children to live without us, how bad it wouldn't feel sometimes... They must learn how to live on their own, and to teach that one must give them chances at independence, not to overprotect them...
abecedarian
Well-Known Member
Sergo said:
You are very right, that we are trying to train them to not need us. My husband will tell them to be aware of the image they portray. Sometimes they just aren't aware of how the opposite sex thinks. At our house, dad will tell the daughter with the too-short top to go back and change..short skirts are usually a problem because they just aren't comfortable in them..
And we've had to sit a couple of the girls down for a discussion on body language and manners..We aren't prudes by any means, but we do think its our job to help our children think about their behavior,dress, and speech.
It didn't take either one of my daughters long to learn particular swear words. At first I wondered why they would pick up on those words that weren't used so often and then I realised it was the way the words were said. Since the main words I'm talking about were 'shit' and '****', you can understand that it caused me some concern. I ignored them and told others not to say the words around them and it didn't take long for them to stop saying them. Now, my eldest daughter is a teenager, who swears when she thinks no-one can hear her. Inevitably, my younger daughter who is 6 does hear her. She tells on her sister, of course, as all siblings do, and I have explained to her that her sister is very naughty and if other adults hear her talking that way, they won't like her. My younger one has not tried to swear, as it is very important to her that adults like her.