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Let's talk about people.

I demand a proper intro thread from you, kind sir.


Also, not done any sort of psychology course or reading so I'll gracefully bow out of this discussion.
 
Polly Parrot said:
I demand a proper intro thread from you, kind sir.


Also, not done any sort of psychology course or reading so I'll gracefully bow out of this discussion.
Click to expand...

It's OK. I am pretty sure these psychology types make things up as they go along.
 
Will said:
Hold on, hold on. Two pages of intelligent, reasoned conversation between two equally reasoned and intelligent people... you do know this is BAR right?

Have either of you read Descartes' Error by Antonio Damasio? I found his writings about human emotions quite interesting. Quite especially of interest were the experiencing of emotions, and the discourse over whether we have the emotion then display our reaction to it first, or vice versa. All curious and intriguing stuff.

I'm fascinated by psychology, in regards to having a more general overview of what comprises us, the human, and society in general. I do wonder if we shouldn't study this subject more openly at schools from an earlier age, and am sure if we did we would generate a more emotionally mature and self-aware society.
Click to expand...

I have not read that. I will have to put that on my "next to read list."

Interesting idea of which comes first "the emotion or the reaction." I think the other point to consider is that our emotional reactions do change quite quickly too. We may initially act out in anger, but then with a deeper understand it may turn to sadness...etc. Although I do believe that "hurt is unmet expectations" and "anger is from hurt."

I quite agree with you that this should be taught at a younger age. The problem is that they would only teach children the theories and not really delve deeper into the human mind. There would have to be better boundaries as to what is being taught. Oh and then there is the issue that some people do not "believe" in psychology that is a complete other problem though :)
 
ROFL, I’ve heard the types. Not believing in psychology is so back woods. I mean, you don’t have to get too deep or into way complicated theory to understand that things affect us, right? Can’t just about everyone buy that?

I find, by and large, the ones who don’t believe in psychology are abused males. They’ve shut themselves down long ago, after all, so why should they open the envelope again? Talking about things such as emotions, fears, wants, needs, and desires is all a waste of time to them. “Just buck up, boy! Don’t be such a sissy!”

Sigh... repeating patterns.
 
Some people just think that my profession as a whole is not really worth it. I mean I have "to listen to other people's problems." Yes, I do, but I also help them find solutions or ways to better themselves. It is not just listening and then "oh, good job. Session is over."

Regardless, I find it is quite useful to know yourself and those around you on a deeper level.

It is so unfortunate for someone to hear that "Just buck up..." Talk about damage to your mental and physical well-being.
 
Exactly. I mean, just awful! Because of my dime-store education, I was able to look back at my own life and childhood and pick out specific instances that affected me, and then try to break them down in a meaningful, helpful way, and it worked. This was in ’08 or so, and I had never been happier as when I was able to find out the “WHY” to a lot of questions I had. Ironically, the answer most of the time is ‘there is no answer’, and I was looking in the wrong direction to solve my problems – I should have been looking inward.

Looking inside to solve what are apparently external problems seems against the grain, but it works, and that’s why I’d like to see our kids taught the psych ropes in school. Or at home. somewhere.
 
It is helpful to look at your past and be able to identify how it has shaped you-for better or worse. The thing is that as an adult you have the ability to now work through those and change the way you are (if you wish to). Some people just want to wallow in the past and blame everything on what happened to them. That is not the way I choose to live and I also make a living off getting others to not do that :)

It does seem strange to look inside and see ourselves for who we are and to think it works...well, it does, but you have to realize there are some things you aren't going to like because it takes work on your part to change.
 
Yup! But one thing I can guarantee, is that when we see what we ‘don’t like’ inside ourselves, it’s far, far less brutal than what we think we ‘don’t like’ about the ones we blame for our messed up lives. It’s just silly and it’s cyclic. Abused dad abuses his kids, who abuse theirs, who... oh, it goes on and on and it’s terribly sad.

I don’t have kids but if I ever do, I am going to be very, very careful about what I expose them to. I don’t want them sheltered, per se, but I want them to think that Dad is a good man who can be counted on. Kind of like the Little House on the Prairie dad – that guy had a backbone, was fair, tried to do what was right and earned his own way.

That’s a parent, boy. :D
 
It is too easy to play the blame game. If we were to only take a look at ourselves. Once you realize that you are a product of your past, it is your job to then change it. If you are blaming your past then you have the mental capacity to understand that you also can control your reactions and change.

Too many people don't see how they influence their children...nor do they seem to care at times.
 
Heh, I have one friend who has a terrible, terrible mouth in front of his kids. He said that he and his wife were careful for a while but at one point, just gave up.

People are who they are and that’s that; going against the grain is futile. Improvement is possible, but total change isn’t. So, he’ll raise little foul-mouthed heathens and when they get in trouble at school, what the heck is he going to say? Don’t do that?

My mother employed the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ theorem which, obviously, is a big fat waste of time and an even bigger excuse not to work on what’s inside.

Nah, people don’t change. They only get a little better or a little worse.
 
I think that a lot of parents "give up" after awhile. Having a child is a lot of work if you want them to succeed. That also brings up the "What is success" discussion though :lol:
I do believe people can change a lot, but it all depends on if they want to. I have certainly changed a lot. Maybe this is via life experiences, just getting to know myself more, or deciding what I wanted to change and the extent by which I chose to.
 
Yeah, you are right; I should have prefaced my comment with ‘unless they want to’. I think the large majority of people spend a lot of time looking for excuses to stay who they are. I really do.

Some drink so much because ‘their job is stressful’. The thing is, if they got a different job they’d still drink too much; the two don’t walk hand in hand.

Some yell at their kids because ‘well, my daddy did and I’m fine!’ the thing is, if you are yelling at your kids 40 times a day, you aren’t fine. That should change.

Some people blame the government or gas prices or the weather or the real estate economy – anything but themselves. It’s much easier that way. :D
 
That I certainly agree with. It is always an external reason for me to be who I am. Nothing inside me, nothing I can do about it.
But there is!! I really do believe once you start to make excuses you really do know better. You make the choice not to change for the better. I sometimes don't understand what people do in their lives if they are not trying to better themselves in some way.
My life would be pretty boring if I wasn't always striving for something better within myself.
 
Yeah, I’m almost horrified when I see that some guys get off work, buy a six-pack of beer and watch TV every evening.

Every. Evening.

What? That would kill me from the sheer boredom alone. that isn’t for me, of that you can be sure. I like seeing new places and meeting new people and working in the garage and writing and reading and... well, I just always have to be doing something. Passive lifestyles never cease to amaze me.
 
I work with individuals with addiction, so I understand that there is an underlying reason they are doing that. I couldn't imagine a life like that. I find it sad really. Some of counseling is certainly educating people.

I like to always be doing something worthwhile.
 
Ack, addiction; that's a whole 'nother ballgame, there. It's too bad, really. I know a ton about it, too, because for whatever reason, I have always been surrounded by it. Many of my friends are alkies, as my mother was. I'm not talking about drinking too much at parties, either, i'm talking about nightly fades. I can't imagine that. I can definitely get my drink on, but for it to be my everyday goto would definitely kill me.

A few of my friends are druggies, too, and I just don't understand that much. I've experimented with a few, and even found one i really liked, but not enough to sell my soul for. It's pathetic, really.
 
For the majority of the addicts they are looking to escape from something. That could be a person in their life, a job, themselves...it is my job to help them determine what it is that they are trying to escape from, help them build healthy coping skills and live a better life.
 
Yep, that is true but the irony is that IT DOESN’T WORK. I’ve never, ever known a drunk (or other addict) who has a few and actually tells me, “Ah, that’s better. my problems are gone!” doesn’t happen. Especially with alcohol.

Booze only intensifies what you were already feeling at the time you began drinking. So, the first eight or ten beers may go down smooth and fine, but near the twelver mark, the subject is crying and telling everyone what’s been bothering them anyhow.

Yea, nice escape. :D
 
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