MLK quotes you are unlikely to hear on Fox News or Glenn Beck's show today

[Hugh]

It was just an old door that Hugh entered the courtroom through. "I hope you have a good excuse for being late to court," the judge said as he glared at Hugh.

"Your Honor, I will present evidence that that irrefutably proves that they are one in the same. These documents," Hugh lifted the manila folders he was carrying to show them to the court, "contain the data compiled by our expert team of forensic investigators that will convince the jury beyond a reasonable doubt that jimthompson and chiangmifalcon are the same chatter." Murmurs migrated across the courtroom from the gallery to the jury box.

"All right counselor. But proceed with caution or I'll see to it that your next contempt of court citation will be your last."

The pressure was on, but Hugh was prepared. That morning before leaving home, Hugh coated his forehead with Right Guard instead of his usual Olay moristurizer. He appeared cool and calm as he removed the first slide from the folder and slid it onto the overhead projector. "Your Honor, exhibit A." He clicked on the light switch and projected an image of what appeared to be two paragraphs onto the screen. The text was blurry and unreadable. The Right Guard strained with all it's might in this trial of the century, but was still able to hold back the beads of perspiration. For now, anyway. Hugh reached for the octagonal black knob and twisted to the right. It worked! The text was clearly visible on the screen:

Yes thank you all. I will rejoin forum and really never left as although I did not write postings I still read the forum all the time and so keep up om what people are saying and about books of course. I have been busy with new house and farm as well as business but still always find time for reading.

Hugh circled the "rejoin forum" with the red dot from his laser pointer. "Notice that Mr. Falcon says 'rejoin forum' in this post. Our team of forensic investigators have concluded that this is a highly unique form of bad grammar". Murmurs, more and louder than before, once again swept the courtroom.

The judge lightly tapped his gavel. "Order in the court," he said with a sigh. "Do you have a point counselor?"

Without answering Hugh slid the next slide onto the projector. The image was larger than before:

Hello falcon. Glad to see fellow expat is a member of forum. As you see from reading this thread, people missed your participation. I think beergood thinks you and I are same person. I was thinking, what if I am one of those people with more than one personality and this is true. Or maybe you are the one with multiple personalities and one is me. What if I am really in Chiang Mai and only imagine I am here. What if I am here and imagine I am in Chiang Mai. What if I am in both places? Think of the money I am spending on airline tickets. Actually I cannot be both people as falcon's wife is also a forum member. But what if I imagined her also. I hope she is hot. Or even stranger, maybe falcon's wife is really me also. Then I can do as many people suggest, and go f*** myself. After reading this post, Falcon, it is unlikely you will really want to send me PM. Unless you are my other personality and I can PM myself. Stay up all night talking to myself on the forum. Okay, I am scared now. I think I better go talk to the monks.

Hugh's red laser dot circled the "of forum" at top of the text and then moved back to the "jimthompson". Hugh had to speak up to be heard over the outburst from the court gallery. "Your honor, the same form of bad grammar being inflicted upon the readers of BARF by jimthompson".

The judge banged his gavel several times to restore order in the court. "Counselor, I warned you! This proves nothing! I find you in contemp......."

Before the judge could finish his sentence Hugh had removed the slide and inserted another one:

New York Times? I thought this was the non-fiction section.

The judge stopped mid-sentence and looked at the screen. "And what is this supposed to be counselor?"

Hugh didn't answer. With a barely hidden wry smile, he removed the slide and inserted yet another one:

Yes Beer I am often thinking the same thing when reading this forum. Some people who write in that they just finished reading The History of Sub-Atomic Particles or some such thing probably really read Zombie Vampire Killers. Or something fictional, like the new york times. However, I am sure there are many intelligent people on forum, like the guy who reads the Glenn Beck books.

The court erupted in chaos. Hugh yelled above the ruckus, "Your Honor, both cmf and jimmy referring to the New York Times as fiction."

"Order! Order! Order in the court!" The judge furiously banged his gavel. A paper airplane landed on the judge's bench. The jury foreman was waving to the judge to let him know that he was the launcher of the improvised flying device, as he could not be heard over the chaos in the courtroom. The judge unfolded the paper airplane and read aloud, "We the jury in the above titled action find the defendant guilty of internetz impersonation."

Hugh turned to walk out of the court, leaving the slide in the projector just as it was. As he victoriously strode by, he noticed one person in the gallery quietly seated and looking at him. He made eye contact with her. She smiled. He winked and mouthed, "thank you Libby", knowing that he could not be heard above the bedlam in the courtroom. A team of paramedics was attending to an old curmudgeon in the spectator gallery who had fainted at the reading of the verdict.

 

[sparkchaser]

That best sums up my reaction.

 

[jimthompson]

I sent this post already but apparently did not go through so I will send it again. Perhaps it was my alter ego falcon who sent it, I don't recall.
Anyway here it is again.
Hugh this was an excellent courtroom drama. John Grisham had better watch out.
However, you fail to realize something when you present evidence, probably because like most people you do not have much contact with expats in Asia. The fact is we all talk and write this way. Instead of saying, "I am going to the market", we say, "I go market." Instead of saying, "I have bought a new truck", we say "I buy truck." This is because when natives speak English, this is the way they talk. It is called pidgin English. After awhile expats speak this way even when talking to other expats or even when writing to or talking with people back in US. If there were 200 expats in forum instead of just 2, they would all probably write this way.
As for NY Times, I admit I did steal his line about it being fiction, but if you talk to any non-liberal types they all refer to this rag as fiction.

However, you are partly right.. I am not only jimthompson. But I am not chiang mai falcon. I am really also Polly Parrot.

 

[Peder]

As for NY Times, I admit I did steal his line about it being fiction, but if you talk to any non-liberal types they all refer to this rag as fiction.

In New York City, one occasionally hears it referred to as "that Commie rag."

 

[beer good]

You're absolutely right, Peder, it is a rather sad state of affairs that many Americans automatically stamp anything slightly to the left of Glenn Beck as communism.

 

[Peder]

You're absolutely right, Peder, it is a rather sad state of affairs that many Americans automatically stamp anything slightly to the left of Glenn Beck as communism.

Well, Beer Good, there are a similar number of Americans who regard Noam Chomsky as middle-of-the-road and who referred to George W. Bush and his party as the coming Grestapo, expecting Storm Troopers to be marching down Constitution Avenue if he was elected (which he was). That is sad commentary, too.
Which is why I avoid politics. :sad: