New screenplay

[bebe]

Again, I'm very very high on energy right now and of course after people read this they will think I am surely crazy, but I'm writng a screenplay (with help from my friend kim) about an internet pedophile called Cleetus Glutos who calls himself "David Brown" and claims to live in Birmingham England whilst he actually *gasp* lives in a trailer park in Arlen, Texas called Free Eagle. He kidnaps two girls he tricks on the internet called Kim and Beth (hehe....more than a coincidence) by killing a cabbie from North Carolina and driving all the way to Vancouver, B.C. where the girls live. He puts them in a sack and drives them all the way back to the trailer park in Arlen Texas, stopping only for coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts store on the outskirts of Winsconsin. When he gets there, he shoots his "paw" out of anger becasue paw wouldn't give him a beer. Then he runs away with the girls in the cab all the way to Tampa Bay, Florida where the girls escape during a police drug raid at the border. They manage to go to the police safely and get Cleetus locked up in the state penitentiary. While there Cleetus has touching moments with his lovable but slow best friend Bubba from Texas and his kindly but very unplesant smelling grandmaw. Finally, Cleetus manages to get permission to go to his maw and paw's funeral (maw was killed by paw who hit her over the head with a shovel in a fit of drunkeness) Of course the funeral is a high class affair with a rocking bronco and lots of beer. As an ending Cleetus out of self hate drowns himself in the local river, where bodies can be found floating around every weekend. ***based on partly true events*** -B


If anyone bothers to reply to my script, constructive critisism will be accepted, psychologist's numbers, will not.

 

[Darren]

Hmm... Certainly an interesting story, if a little implausible. If "David" lived in England what would he be doing meeting his victims in Canada? And it's a bit of a coincicence that both his best friend and gran are in the same prison as he gets sent to.

Intersting idea though, and pretty topical (unfortunately).

Darren.

 

[bebe]

If "David" lived in England what would he be doing meeting his victims in Canada?

Well see Cleetus is a psychotic nutcase and he wants to kidnap girls so he could force them to learn "backstreet slang" *does that even exist? like this david guy actually exists and he keeps on trying to teach us words like "Bigup", which I think is awfully creepy* Oh and you see, "David" is Cleetus, so actually "David" lives in a trailer park in Arlen, Texas. This makes it easier since Canada is the next door neighbour.

And it's a bit of a coincicence that both his best friend and gran are in the same prison as he gets sent to.

Okay, here, his grandmaw and Bubba aren't cellmates along with Cleetus at the penitentiary, they just hitched a ride to Florida so they could come and see him (and smuggle him beef jerky...the hillbilly food) I hope your questions have been answered...I have replied to the best of my abilities if anyone else has any other questions about my script you can ask me, or tell me if you see an improvement that could be made. (but grandmaw MUST smell because her smells result in a fight breaking out between the cellmates, which somehow leads to Cleetus being able to go to the funeral) -B

 

[bebe]

oops...one more small thing

The name of this movie is Trailer Park Madness 2 (not a sequel...just a little *gimmick*) -B

 

[Holger]

Originally posted by bebe
Again, I'm very very high on energy right now and of course after people read this they will think I am surely crazy, but I'm ...

*crazy*

 

[bebe]

a small change in the details

in light of the recent information i have recieved (aka. the defintion of "bigup", thanks to Toby's handy little Dummy's Guide to Internet Pedophile Slang book) I am just here to tell you that Cleetus is literate (although with only a 3rd grade education and reading level), and not the half dyslexic idiot we all thought him to be. Oh yes, and in Cleetus' trial he is defended by his lawyer uncle Moondog (also a hillbilly, but a succesful one) who discovers that he is gay (!!!!) and goes in a search for self in the next movie (Trailer Park Madness 3) where he will get more attention in the plotline. -B

Yes, I have created a monster...this script now has a mind and body of its own and I am helpless to stop it...I am a mere accessory to its growing power and size

 

[bebe]

although nobody cares....

I am now 10 pages into my screenplay, Trailer Park Madness 2 . Right now Cleetus is in trial while the two girls are testifying against him. Can you belive that Cleetus thought Russia was a warm country? -B

 

[spaz]

all righty, i got some complaints! you be mis/rep/re/sentin' us hillbillies with your hollywood movie script! We be kindler, gentler folks than you be makin us out to be! and although, yes, i do have a cell mate named bubba,all us hillbilly ped/o/philes here at the florida penitentary be angry! This is worse than that there Deliverence movie, from the 80's! ill have you know, i NEVER held a MAN hostage!So, i understand our folk are mighty inrestin to you city folks, but if you be writin' any movie scripts bout us, try an keep it real, all righty?
- ps, wes would greatly appreciat it if yous could spring us from the joint and get us into them ac/ada/my/ awards! be rubbin elbows with them movie star types, like a one miss julia roberts, we would! heyuk!

 

[bebe]

of course i never meant to offend hillbillies....

now, spaz, don't...spaz. I wans't trying to insult any of you hillbilly "folk". I know you are kind and gentle (even though you really smell bad) but Cleetus here is one of those "black sheep" that get stray from the flock. Wait...but you're also a pedophile at Florida penitentiary! Um, well....then I guess Cleetus is sort of like you, just...crazier. -B

 

[Trillian]

Russia

Some information: Russia is really quite big and some parts are in fact warm. Pick another country. Or say Siberia. Siberia is cold.