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Ode to a retired beer tester

I think where you went wrong, is you didn't mention someone from here oh Watery one.

Poor Billy Oblivion
Banned Banned Banned
He was such a silly one
Banned.

Cut down in his prime
Lived a life of petty crime
Liked to play in the grime.
Now he can spend time
with his one time hero
Ou Be doo Be Loo Ho'.

See what I did there?
 
A! You're Ace
With an Angelic face
You really set the pace
For that Alphabetical race

B! What a letter
Can it get any Better
I'll sew you on my favourite sweater
And, um, munch a bit of feta

C! you standing there
Pretty feathers in your hair
A Cockatoo on a Chair
Blah blah blah blah Claire.

Delightful is what you are
Driving in my car
Over roads covered in tar
HA HA HA HA HA

E! by gum you're fine
See you end the number nine
And also the word dine
And, uuum, tine

F! ahh **** it.

Edited to conform with Da Man. Remember kids, FIGHT THE POWER!
 
Ooooh!!!!! Litany said the F-dash-dash-dash word! She shall get warned!

I thought I explained the bit about how most of my chums have been banned?

How Billy Got Banned

Remember what waters you are sailing in here, oh Babe of the Bucanneers! Don't what the sharks swallowing you up too.

So start with this:

F blah, blah, blah
Furry, Fluffy, Fuzzy
Sickly Sweet and Cute
blah, blah, blah, etc. and so forth

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
Oh dear. Heaven forbid I should be controversial. You know I wouldn't like that. Oh. Perhaps I should have said, non-denominational pleasant place of personal choice choose either to allow or not as you see fit I should be controversial. :confused:
 
Yes! That's the ticket! Remove the salty sea air from your verbiage!

Now...on to G!

G, oh letter safe and sane
you give me fleshy goosebumps
Gee Whiz, Golly, Gosh darnit!*
Tamely I express my pain
and thus don't have to take my lumps

Or something like that. My meter is off this morning. Haven't had that second cup of coffee yet.


*Note how I have rated this thread for 18 and older for my blatant use of strong language.
 
There was once a big grumpy monkey
Appointed as new forum flunky
He played for an hour
Abusing the power
And getting the buttons all funky
 
You just get better and better. I don't know how anyone would dare post their own offerings after seeing talent such as yours.

And it's good that this wacky new colour sheme didn't distract you.
 
Freya! My dear girl. Why I haven't seen you in ages. I saw that new razor with the 27 blades advertised on telly the other day and thought of you. I must admit, it brought a tear to my eye.
 
I'm letting the beard grow for the winter. Saves knitting a scarf.

Are you still raping and pillaging and all that jazz?
 
Well I would be but you know they brought in a new safety inspector? How the hell do you COSSH a cosh?

I told him, I cannot safely operate a chainsaw in a convent when I'm there to steal their wimples.
 
True, true. Many a happy day I used to spend playing on railway tracks. Once we tied my equally hirsute chum to the tracks by her underarm hair. It was a riot! These days the papers would blowing it all out of proportion and you'd have social services banging your door down. Spoils everyones fun.
 
I was one told that if you left a penny on the tracks you'd derail the train. I thought I might as well try it. Penny wasn't happy and nor was I. It didn't derail the train at all. But it made a terrible mess of her outfit.
 
You can't prove a thing.

There is no little yellow face that fits my requirements! This place has really gone to the dogs. Who's in charge? I feel a complaint coming on.
 
There's a serious lack of expressions, it's true. Where's the one for when you've just done a bum doodle and you're hoping no one noticed but you're remaining vigilant just in case someone starts sniffing suspiciously so you can jump in first and blame it on the dog but then you remember you don't have a dog and start to panic?
 
Maybe it's time to reaquaint ourselves with thems what are in charge round here. See if we can pull a few strings.
 
Freya said:
Maybe it's time to reaquaint ourselves with thems what are in charge round here. See if we can pull a few strings.
Click to expand...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I could run a book on how long it takes you to get your second warning.

Mind you, there is the issue of the dragon theft to consider. A little blackmail could go a long way...
 
It took a few days for my official warning to make its way through last time. It was probably a little tricky finding a time when my inbox wasn't full of welcome back, we're so glad you've returned to the fold, it was like losing an arm, type PMs. Deluged I was.
 
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