helgi
New Member
here's a passage from A DAY WELL SPENT. Keep in mind it's set in an ahistorical likeness of Rome, and the roman Macrominus is very offensive. and the pigs are two adulterers in disguise, with mud caked upon their faces to look like snouts.
Macrominus beseeched Oliver, "Let's rest a moment here before we go inside. It has been a long journey for me, and I have been seated for so long within my litter. There may be things inside that will displease me, matters that have not been attended to, that will rouse tha anger within me. For the moment, I do not want to look upon anything that displeases me. I am happier here, for now, to look upon my pigs and to gather the kitchen's aromas as the steam reaches us."
The slaves lingered about, slapping their bellies while they talked in strange tongues. Macrominus laughed. "They are made eager by the sounds of the kitchen. It is a testament to my feasts that even the servants find their fill!"
Verily, Macrominus became most solemn, and soon he wished to confide in Oliver. "Among my entire household, the one who is to be least trusted is not a servant, but my own wife. She is worse than her reputation, and her reputation would lead one to suspect as much. With every transgression that she does not bother to conceal, another blow is dealt upon my household. She thinks that wealth can afford folly, and so she does as she pleases beneath my roof. She even uses the great size of my house against me, for when it comes time that we should share the same bed together, she hides like a cunning beast. If I send my slaves to search for her, I will find her with one of them, and so I must search for her myself. Only then will she allow herself to be mated.
"It is for all of this that I have been driven to my own transgressions. I would not list them, but she dares to hold them against me! For her revenge, she now humiliates me publicly by refusing to keep her place beside me when my feasts are held. Indeed, she even takes her seat at the far end of the table to insult me further. My table is set traditionally, with one pig at each end. Thereupon, when I could no longer bear my wife's insult, I rose at my place and hit upon the table, asking her why she refused to keep her seat with me, and she answered loudly, and for all to hear, 'You, my husband, will yourself eat an entire pig and its apple! And so I must sit by this far swine if I am to have anything in the way of pork!'
"Her temper is insatiable, and she delights in slandering me in front of men of importance. She will often fool me by acting tame and supplicant, only to unleash her temper when it can most hinder me. But this evening, we shall conspire to tame her before my guests, and she will not know that she is being tamed!"
Oliver asked, "In what way can such a woman be tamed?"
Macrominus smiled, "We shall bridle my bride by her unbridled lust! Indeed, she holds a most peculiar lust for knighthood. She shall be intrigued by your manner, and you must arose her desires before the feast. For this I grant you some kisses upon her. But no one must see! Later, when I take my seat at the head of the table, you shall sit with one space between you and I. She will wish to seat herself beside you, and so she will be tricked into keeping her place by my side as well! To my guests, who will not know of our intrigue, it will appear that order has been restored within my household."
Oliver interjected. "But what if she sits at my other side?"
Macrominus became most thoughtful at this. "Enlist your comrade to sit beside you then, leaving the one space between us. And you must do as I say, for this is all a very important matter. For has it not been said before by a king that the illusion of power soon leads to power itself?"
Oliver smiled with doubtful reflection. "I do not know that such has been said, but whatever kings have said in the past, I shall grant you the favor you ask."
"Then my feast shall go well!"
Macrominus was gladdened by the promise, and he conducted Oliver inside through the front of the house. But a shade of temper remained upon the face of Macrominus as they passed under the she-wolf. Already he was contemplating further revenge upon the many subjects of his household.
After everyone had gone indoors, the streets before the household were empty. The stone likeness of the she'wolf kept its vigil to no avail until verily, a beautiful woman crept by. Venus had clothed herself in the guise of a mortal woman, but she cleverly kept her feet bare to walk softly and without notice. Also bare were her shoulders, and she sported them proudly, daring the sun to freckle them.
Her green eyes darted about with cunning, until verily she found Helgi and Bauwleah upon their fours in the pigpen. She could not help but laugh at the hand that fate had dealt them. She let forth a lovely gale that brought her to take hold of her own bosom.
Helgi was most frightened, for he thought Venus was beholding them with a joyous apetite. He did not guess at her being a goddess, and thought her to be a guest of the house who had perhaps wondered out upon hearing of what fine pigs were to be had. As Venus recovered from her laughter, she decided to taunt the pigs in their pen. She felt sure they would bear any insult, having come thus far as pigs already. She spoke to them as one might choose to speak rhetoric before a beast.
"I would not think to find such beauty in swine, and yet, what wide haunches upon the sow! Alas! beauty can remain in the wake of all dignity! Mud cannot bury it!"
....~~~
Macrominus beseeched Oliver, "Let's rest a moment here before we go inside. It has been a long journey for me, and I have been seated for so long within my litter. There may be things inside that will displease me, matters that have not been attended to, that will rouse tha anger within me. For the moment, I do not want to look upon anything that displeases me. I am happier here, for now, to look upon my pigs and to gather the kitchen's aromas as the steam reaches us."
The slaves lingered about, slapping their bellies while they talked in strange tongues. Macrominus laughed. "They are made eager by the sounds of the kitchen. It is a testament to my feasts that even the servants find their fill!"
Verily, Macrominus became most solemn, and soon he wished to confide in Oliver. "Among my entire household, the one who is to be least trusted is not a servant, but my own wife. She is worse than her reputation, and her reputation would lead one to suspect as much. With every transgression that she does not bother to conceal, another blow is dealt upon my household. She thinks that wealth can afford folly, and so she does as she pleases beneath my roof. She even uses the great size of my house against me, for when it comes time that we should share the same bed together, she hides like a cunning beast. If I send my slaves to search for her, I will find her with one of them, and so I must search for her myself. Only then will she allow herself to be mated.
"It is for all of this that I have been driven to my own transgressions. I would not list them, but she dares to hold them against me! For her revenge, she now humiliates me publicly by refusing to keep her place beside me when my feasts are held. Indeed, she even takes her seat at the far end of the table to insult me further. My table is set traditionally, with one pig at each end. Thereupon, when I could no longer bear my wife's insult, I rose at my place and hit upon the table, asking her why she refused to keep her seat with me, and she answered loudly, and for all to hear, 'You, my husband, will yourself eat an entire pig and its apple! And so I must sit by this far swine if I am to have anything in the way of pork!'
"Her temper is insatiable, and she delights in slandering me in front of men of importance. She will often fool me by acting tame and supplicant, only to unleash her temper when it can most hinder me. But this evening, we shall conspire to tame her before my guests, and she will not know that she is being tamed!"
Oliver asked, "In what way can such a woman be tamed?"
Macrominus smiled, "We shall bridle my bride by her unbridled lust! Indeed, she holds a most peculiar lust for knighthood. She shall be intrigued by your manner, and you must arose her desires before the feast. For this I grant you some kisses upon her. But no one must see! Later, when I take my seat at the head of the table, you shall sit with one space between you and I. She will wish to seat herself beside you, and so she will be tricked into keeping her place by my side as well! To my guests, who will not know of our intrigue, it will appear that order has been restored within my household."
Oliver interjected. "But what if she sits at my other side?"
Macrominus became most thoughtful at this. "Enlist your comrade to sit beside you then, leaving the one space between us. And you must do as I say, for this is all a very important matter. For has it not been said before by a king that the illusion of power soon leads to power itself?"
Oliver smiled with doubtful reflection. "I do not know that such has been said, but whatever kings have said in the past, I shall grant you the favor you ask."
"Then my feast shall go well!"
Macrominus was gladdened by the promise, and he conducted Oliver inside through the front of the house. But a shade of temper remained upon the face of Macrominus as they passed under the she-wolf. Already he was contemplating further revenge upon the many subjects of his household.
After everyone had gone indoors, the streets before the household were empty. The stone likeness of the she'wolf kept its vigil to no avail until verily, a beautiful woman crept by. Venus had clothed herself in the guise of a mortal woman, but she cleverly kept her feet bare to walk softly and without notice. Also bare were her shoulders, and she sported them proudly, daring the sun to freckle them.
Her green eyes darted about with cunning, until verily she found Helgi and Bauwleah upon their fours in the pigpen. She could not help but laugh at the hand that fate had dealt them. She let forth a lovely gale that brought her to take hold of her own bosom.
Helgi was most frightened, for he thought Venus was beholding them with a joyous apetite. He did not guess at her being a goddess, and thought her to be a guest of the house who had perhaps wondered out upon hearing of what fine pigs were to be had. As Venus recovered from her laughter, she decided to taunt the pigs in their pen. She felt sure they would bear any insult, having come thus far as pigs already. She spoke to them as one might choose to speak rhetoric before a beast.
"I would not think to find such beauty in swine, and yet, what wide haunches upon the sow! Alas! beauty can remain in the wake of all dignity! Mud cannot bury it!"
....~~~
