Poem: The Human Heart.

[Wabbit]

Another poem, by me! Well... Enjoy ( I hope ! )


The Human Heart.

Heart, how do you tick?
Heart, How do work?
Where are the wheels that whirl?
Where are the clogs that clank?

Can I rip you ASUNDER???
Can I watch you tick and tock?

Where is the love and the pain?
Passion?
Pain?
Pleasure?
Rain?
Heart...
What makes us do the things we do?

Oh, heart...
Please... will you BLEED for me?

Can we all be awash
In a hot sticky ocean of blood
Can we all just slosh
Together
In a hot salty ocean of love.

 

[Martin]

I like it! Very good, Wabbit!

Cheers, Martin

 

[third man girl]

Can we all just slosh
Together
In a hot salty ocean of love.

I'll jump in. Wheeeeeeeeh!!!

Wonderful, Wabbit

Third Man Girl

 

[Wabbit]

Thanks for the comments!

Regards
SillyWabbit

 

[Crystal]

Honest with you, wabbit, I haven't reached the level of writing a poem in English, and I would say your poem is good. However, I got a sense when reading this poem, that it is not that wonderful.(Please not mad at me.)

For me, when reading a poem, it can kindle my imagination what is not presented literally. It conveys a feeling, a passion, a pitcure in mind,---.

I do appreciate your courage to present your OWN work and your creativity.KEEP going, wabbit, I am waiting to read your more original work.

BESTS

 

[Wabbit]

Thanks for the comment I hope you like the next one better!!!

Regards
SillyWabbit

 

[Stewart]

For me, when reading a poem, it can kindle my imagination what is not presented literally. It conveys a feeling, a passion, a pitcure in mind

I have to agree here. The poem just asks questions and doesn't go anywhere.

When I think of serious poems (so that's limericks and clerihews excluded) the poet should present a question, discuss it, and then come to a conclusion.

You obviously want to talk about the heart but you haven't said anything about it, only asked it questions. The heart should respond.

So, you've asked the questions: Heart, can you do this? Heart, can you do that? I want to know: Can it?

Does the heart have limitations? Is it happy to be content?

The last question, as a reader, I want from this poem is my own. That question should be: Do I agree with the poet? and not What's the poet trying to say?. Currently, I have nothing to agree with. Or, for that matter, disagree.

 

[Wabbit]

Well, I can't anwser the question. How can I in the poem?

I can't agree with you there, sorry

I don't think you HAVE to anwser the questions you set up. Some of the best novels go nowhere. They just are, or they are better becauase they have no real ending. Poetery in particular doesn't have to go anywhere. It's about, mostly but not always, pure and raw emotion. It's about what you are feeling. If the poems just seems to be asking questions but going nowhere then I have done it right. That was what I intended.

Thank you for your comments, always appreciated!

Regards
SillyWabbit

 

[Stewart]

Well, I can't answer the question. How can I in the poem?

Can't you, at least, try to answer it? Why leave all this open to the reader? What does it say about you? Are you referring to hearts in general or your own heart? What's made you write about the heart? A personal experience?

I can't agree with you there, sorry

I'm happy to disagree; it's only my opinion. I just think that poetry should be more.

I don't think you HAVE to anwser the questions you set up. Some of the best novels go nowhere. They just are, or they are better becauase they have no real ending.

Well, postmodernism is certainly like this. I wouldn't call the poem above postmodern though.

Poetry in particular doesn't have to go anywhere. It's about, mostly but not always, pure and raw emotion. It's about what you are feeling.

Yes, writing is about feeling. It's also about relating this feeling to the reader. I, personally, didn't feel it.

If the poems just seems to be asking questions but going nowhere then I have done it right. That was what I intended.

Okay.

Thank you for your comments, always appreciated!

No problem.

 

[Wabbit]

Can't you, at least, try to answer it? Why leave all this open to the reader? What does it say about you? Are you referring to hearts in general or your own heart? What's made you write about the heart? A personal experience?

A simple anwser: No It's how I want the poem. I don't want it to anwser any questions. I just have no idea myself. I want it open.



Regards
SillyWabbit

 

[Wabbit]

Mile-o!

Question: are you "into" poetry? Who are your favorite poets? I'm curious!

Regards
SillyWabbit

 

[Stewart]

Question: are you "into" poetry? Who are your favorite poets? I'm curious!

I like Edwin Morgan, Robert Frost, Robert Browning, Shakespeare, Ted Hughes. Haven't had the chance to read anything of Andrew Motion yet.

I wouldn't say I win 'into' poetry per se but, occasionally, I come across a book of poetry or read a few poems. I understand the metre and different styles.

Probably my favourites are:

Browning's My Last Duchess

Frost's The Road Not Taken

And Morgan's Not The Burrell Collection.

I posted one I'd written (Down By Magdalena) but hever got any response/feedback. (hint hint! )