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Rejected children's book titles

SFG75

SFG75

Well-Known Member
Rejected children’s book titles

Strangers Have the Best Candy

The Little Sissy Who Snitched

Some Kittens Can Fly!

Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North
Amer-Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!

The Kid's Guide to Hitchhiking

You Are Different and That's Bad

POP! Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games

Curious George and the High Voltage Fence

The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead

How to Become the Dominant Military Power in Your Elementary School

Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear

What is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?

Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

Bi-Curious George

Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Grandpa Went To Hell

:D :D :D :D
 
SFG75 said:
You Are Different and That's Bad

What is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?

Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Click to expand...

Haha! This is great! I'm laughing so hard I'm crying...
I really want to see these published. I'd buy them!
Thanks for the laugh :D
 
I'm crying, too, and don't tell anyone, but I think I drooled on myself. :(

Wonderful, wonderful. That definitely deserved to be posted.
 
Santa shot himself because of you.

Let's play, The run-across-the-street-with-your-eyes-closed game!

Good boys and girls kick puppies for fun.
 
Toddlers First Cookbook: Drinks From Under the Kitchen Sink
Paperclips and Wall Sockets; Electricity and You
Tasty Houseplants including Azaleas & Poinsettias
 
Go to Potty for Dummies

Barney! The Intoxicated Purple Dinosaur

Guns are fun toys!

Cartwheels Around the Edge of the Pool Excitement

Play with matches!!!
 
Featuring the Telletubbies in How to Make A Car Bomb for Mommy and Daddy

There's A Monster Under Your Bed and It's Going to Eat You

This Little Piggy Went to the Market and Killed Everyone There

Kama Sutra Jr.
 
10 Reasons Why Mommy Doesn't Love You

The Toddler's Guide to Alcohol

Santa Isn't Real. Get Over It.

Mommy and the Milkman: An Illustrated Storybook

Cindy Was An Accident, You Were Too

Shiny Things Taste Good

:rolleyes:

This is a great thread. :D
 
Drugs R Us catalogue

Mary Had a Little Crack songbook

Having fun painting Easter hand grenades!

Tipping over a hot pan of grease: The easy way.

Juggling sharp knives and chainsaws for kids!
 
Treats for tots: How to make Rat poison lollipops.

Reading Rainsow presents: Setting the cat on fire.

Bribing the teaching with cash brings better grades.

Knocking over grandma makes you special.

Kicking the mailman in the nuts and other stories for kids.

The ice cream man is also the pusher man.

How to kill neighborhood pigeons with a slingshot.

Booger Cookbook: Yummy treats for youngsters

Captain Kangaroo's guide to hardcore pornography

Eating small toys is fun and healthy

Calling your mom a bitch will bring happy, happy feelings.
 
To Kill a Mockingbird: Your BB Gun Manual
Lord of the Flies: Magnifying Glass Fun!
The Good Earth: Tasty Sandbox Treats
Blindness: Masturbation and You
 
101 Ways to Get Yourself Killed
Buildings are Fun to Blow Up
Let's All Play In Traffic!
Venemous Snakes Are Our Friends
How to Mix Harmful Chemicals
Your Guide to Local Stripclubs
Things Your Mother Did That She Didn't Tell You
Billy Didn't Like His Sister So He Fed Her Poison
It's Fun In Jail!
Putting Helpless Animals In Swimming Pools
Squeeze Your Best Friend's Neck and Watch Him Turn Blue

...now the scary thing is, I baby-sit. Reputed to be any good. Don't tell anybody I'm adding to this list! :D
 
Um...has this thread been forgotten? I keep hopping back here, hoping to see more ideas, but I'm sad to see I'm still the last person who posted here. And I need ideas to build the fire before I can think of some more.

So I only have one more to add:

Fire Pretty: How to be a Pyro
 
Drowning As A Sport: Your Friends And Your Options
Disappear: A Guide To Running Away From Home
Oooh, Shiny: What We Love About Sparkly, Sharp, Pointy Things
The Phantom Of The Opera: A Guide On How To Kidnap Your True Love
The Idiot's Guide To Jumping Off Of Tall Things
Everything! : What You're Allowed To Touch At The Museum
Anarchy: Rebel's Best Friend

Happy now? I've got a million!
 
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