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Rejected children's book titles

...LOL!!!! It's a good thing I didn't have anything in my mouth when I read that, because it would be down my windpipe and all over my computer screen.
 
Erm...

......

I suppose there's always:
What Your Older Brother Knows But Can't Tell You Because Mommy Says that You're Too Young
Things That Go Bump In the Night-XXX Version

I can't think of anything else. I'm sure I will soon.
 
The Pleasures of Your Natural Body
I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours
Anatomy of the Other Gender
The Stork Isn't Real
Antifreeze: The Sweetest Candy
Where Daddy Hides the Alcohol
How to Lie like a Master: The Little Thief Collection, Book One
How to Pick a Lock: The Little Thief Collection, Book Two
How to Hot-Wire a Car: The Little Thief Collection, Book Three
How to Feed a Security Camera a Loop: The Little Thief Collection, Book Four
Free Money; The Little Thief Collection, Book Five
What to Buy with Your New Funds: The Little Thief Collection, Book Six
 
LOL! Way to go!

The Many Wonders of the Neverland Ranch
A Hundred Things You Can Do With A Pencil (oh, the infinite possibilities...)
Throw Rocks at Cars Fun
Why You Should Run At High Speeds Holding Pointy Things
Bad Hygiene is Fun!
 
The Best of the Most Offending Insults
Let's Meet Up!: A Study of the Wonderful Effects of Chat Rooms
Faking Child Abuse for Kids
How to Hide the Car Keys
Playboy for boys; Playgirl for girls
Run Away: Worrying Your Parents
Wailing All Night Long
Temper Tantrums: The Benefits and Procedures
How to Stay Up Later
The Idiot's Guide to Annoying the World
Where the Wild Things Are
Walking In on Mommy and Daddy
 
The next true British best-seller:

Harry Potter and the Anti-Social Behaviour Order

:rolleyes:

Also:

The Toddlers Guide to Atheism
Piñatan Fun! If You Hit it Hard Enough, Everything is Filled with Candy!
Why Daddy is an Evil, Evil Man
Why Eating Play-Doh isn't Dangerous (and of course it's follow-up)
Constipation and You
 
Hee! This thread brings back some strange memories. Like when I was at Villa Duchesne and we went to an orphanage to read to and play with the kids. I let the kids pick what book I'd read to them, and they joyously offered me Everyone Poops. I couldn't believe my eyes. I mean...why the duck? The rest of the things on the cover made sense, at least.

Anyway, here are some more:

How to Become A Pony Girl In Eight Easy Steps!
How To Make Your Room A Fort Against All Parental Influences
Marble Fun!
Larry Flynt's Guide to Being A Fluffer
John Norman's Guide to Turning All Siblings into Slaves
 
Mommy and Daddy had Another Baby Because You Were Weird
How to Perform Satanic Rituals in Your Room
Everyone's Out to Get You
Questions That Scare Your Parents
Let's All Sing Eminem
A Child's Guide to the Nazi Party: Racism Pays
Put Your Baby Sister in the Preheating Oven
Let's Beat Up People Who Are Different
Vengeance: How to Make the Bullies' Heads Explode


Oh, dear. I am scaring myself. :D I do rather wish I had the last one in grade school. Would have done me wonders, it would.
 
Pre-Teen Romance Series Presents: Fido, Peanut Butter and You
Bleach and Ammonia go BOOM!
The Children's Guide to Animal Sacrifice
How to Build a Bong From Everyday Objects
 
Guide to the Gothic Subculture
What are Clothes for Anyways?
Just a Little Tipsy
The Children's Guide to Socialism
The Children's Guide to Satanism
The Children's Guide to Antipathy
I Hate The World: Emos Galore!
Pretty Pictures of a Pretty Body
Radicalism for Pre-Teens: Destroy the House Before You Hit Puberty
Whore-mones
Let's Play Strip Poker
Days in the Bar: Liquor in the Front; Poker in the Back
 
How Cindy Drank Too Much Soda, Got Hyper, and Annoyed Her Parents
Daddy, What Are You Doing to Mommy?
999 Songs That Get On Everybody's Nerves
The Guide to Life by Your Worthless Teenage Delinquent Brother
 
Credit Cards and You: A Head Start in Memorising Numbers
Potty Practice: Shiny Things Go Bye-Bye!
Exploring Nature: Dead Things and You
50 Reasons Why You Will Amount to Nothing
The Toddler's Guide to Wine Tasting

Hopefully none of those have been mentioned, but I can't remember at the moment. :rolleyes:
 
Only the last one is slightly familliar. Those are great! I'm out of ideas, personally. Imagination dried out. You know how it goes.
 
Unfortunately I can only think of a few.

Poking Dead Things With a Stick
The Dictionary of Lethal Weapons
Computer Hacking 101
Why You Should Be A Flunkie!
Of Course, You Can Fly
 
The last one made me snort. The first one you ripped from my T-shirt. Curse you, Vesp, now there's a hole right over a spot I'd rather not display to the public.
 
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