I'm afraid I only have metaphorical ones, dear.
I'm not debating anyone else's posts. 'Rubbish' and 'crap' might be "understandable" (yes, we all know what the words mean), but, unless supported by proper critical appraisal, then in terms of posting here that 'X film/book/post is crap', they are as subjective as 'burp' and 'belch' and have no greater meaning.
I would suggest – although I do not know – that Helgi is using 'burp' and 'belch' to show that he/she considers such judgments as "rubbish" and "crap" to be facile and pointless as criticism. Whether they are, in the context of this board, depends on what this board is for in terms of criticism. But that is another question.