WriterJohnB
Member
I have already posted this in another thread, but since I'm guessing many have their ignore buttons punched for this person or that, I am also putting it here.
The Law of the Jungle
Once upon a time there was an itty-bitty mouse who, despite his mommy's warnings, ate too much cheese. He had a tummy-ache all night and, in the morning, defecated a huge pile of mousy pellets. When he had finished, he looked at the heap. "My goodnesses," he thought, "those turds look just kind of like bricks." And then he had an idea. It was only a little idea but, then again, he was only a little rodent.
He gathered up a few of the turds and ran to the top of a cliff. Many animals grazed on the plain below. "Look," he shouted. "Has pwoduced these fine bwicks fwom my own wittle ass."
Many of the animals laughed, for the mouse had poor diction and did not speak in coherent sentences. They ignored him. But a few kindly animals approached the cliff and looked at the rodent droppings. "So why did you bring these turds and show them to us?" asked a majestic gazelle.
The little mouse puffed his fur out and tried to look important. "Going to will constwuct a domicile with them," he said. "Who would wike to puwchase the wesidence I is pweparing anticipate to fabwicate?"
A giraffe stretched his neck and looked at the pellets. "Have you ever built anything before?"!
"No," declared the mouse, "but become will be da best house ever!"
A hyena asked. "Why would anyone want to buy a house from a rodent who's never built one before? Besides, those turds do not look like they would make a very nice house."
"Yes," agreed a lion. "And they don't smell very good, either."
The mouse stood tall and called upon his debating prowess. "My shit does no stink," he said firmly. "It comed fwom my vewy own body, and I am cewtain that I is the smawtest and most handsomest mouse what ever once existed."
"I have built a house of twigs and leaves," said a chimpanzee. "And I have experience in these matters. Your house of shit will dissolve in the first rain."
The mouse jumped up and down in anger. "Will not. Will not. Will not," he cried. "You awe a stupid ape and pwobabwy you is pwevawicating about what you accompwished. I am the intelligentest mouse I know, and my shit is the bestest."
"Perhaps you are right," said the hyena. "Bring those turds down here, so that I might have a closer look."
"At last," thought the rodent. "Someone who smart enough to realize my genius, though, of course, not nearly as smart as I is." He scurried down the cliff and stood before the hyena, holding out a turd in his hand. "Would you wike to puwchase dis shit?"
The hyena swiftly swooped down and snatched up the mouse in his jaws. Then he raised his head, swallowed, and looked around at the other animals.
"Tastes like shit," he said. And then he laughed.
The Law of the Jungle
Once upon a time there was an itty-bitty mouse who, despite his mommy's warnings, ate too much cheese. He had a tummy-ache all night and, in the morning, defecated a huge pile of mousy pellets. When he had finished, he looked at the heap. "My goodnesses," he thought, "those turds look just kind of like bricks." And then he had an idea. It was only a little idea but, then again, he was only a little rodent.
He gathered up a few of the turds and ran to the top of a cliff. Many animals grazed on the plain below. "Look," he shouted. "Has pwoduced these fine bwicks fwom my own wittle ass."
Many of the animals laughed, for the mouse had poor diction and did not speak in coherent sentences. They ignored him. But a few kindly animals approached the cliff and looked at the rodent droppings. "So why did you bring these turds and show them to us?" asked a majestic gazelle.
The little mouse puffed his fur out and tried to look important. "Going to will constwuct a domicile with them," he said. "Who would wike to puwchase the wesidence I is pweparing anticipate to fabwicate?"
A giraffe stretched his neck and looked at the pellets. "Have you ever built anything before?"!
"No," declared the mouse, "but become will be da best house ever!"
A hyena asked. "Why would anyone want to buy a house from a rodent who's never built one before? Besides, those turds do not look like they would make a very nice house."
"Yes," agreed a lion. "And they don't smell very good, either."
The mouse stood tall and called upon his debating prowess. "My shit does no stink," he said firmly. "It comed fwom my vewy own body, and I am cewtain that I is the smawtest and most handsomest mouse what ever once existed."
"I have built a house of twigs and leaves," said a chimpanzee. "And I have experience in these matters. Your house of shit will dissolve in the first rain."
The mouse jumped up and down in anger. "Will not. Will not. Will not," he cried. "You awe a stupid ape and pwobabwy you is pwevawicating about what you accompwished. I am the intelligentest mouse I know, and my shit is the bestest."
"Perhaps you are right," said the hyena. "Bring those turds down here, so that I might have a closer look."
"At last," thought the rodent. "Someone who smart enough to realize my genius, though, of course, not nearly as smart as I is." He scurried down the cliff and stood before the hyena, holding out a turd in his hand. "Would you wike to puwchase dis shit?"
The hyena swiftly swooped down and snatched up the mouse in his jaws. Then he raised his head, swallowed, and looked around at the other animals.
"Tastes like shit," he said. And then he laughed.
