Gryphon said:
Brilliant!!
Phil, you're a STAR!!
Note to all: I did request a copy of the reunion scene. LOLOLOLOL I"m in creases here.
But I won't post any spoilers. If anyone wants to read it, click on the link Phil provided and follow the instructions. They will respond immediately. Hehehehe
REUNION SCENE SPOILER
I'm told the above link provided by phil t no longer works and I've been asked for the reply I received from the publisher, so I'm posting it here in its entirety:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Reunion Scene from THE PRINCESS BRIDE
by William Goldman
Dear Reader,
Thank you for sending in, and, no, this is not the reunion scene, because
of a certain roadblock named Kermit Shog.
As soon as bound books were ready, I got a call from my lawyer,
Charley--(you may not remember, but Charley's the one I called from
California to go down in the blizzard and buy THE PRINCESS BRIDE from the
used-book dealer). Anyway, he usually begins with Talmudic humor, wisdom
jokes, only this time he just says, "Bill, I think you better get down
here, "and before I'm even allowed a 'why?' he adds, "Right away if you
can."
Panicked, I zoom down, wondering who could have died, did I flunk my tax
audit, what? His secretary lets me into his office and Charley says,
"This is Mr. Shog, Bill."
And there he is, sitting in the corner, hands on his briefcase, looking
exactly like an oily version of Peter Lorre. I really expected him to
say, "Give me the Falcon, you must, or I'll be forced to keeel you."
"Mr. Shog is a lawyer," Charley goes on. And this next was said
underlined: "_He represents the Morgenstern estate._"
Who knew? Who could have dreamed such a thing existed, an estate
of a man dead at least a million years that no one ever heard of over
here anyway? "Perhaps you will give me the Falcon now, "Mr. Shog
said. That's not true. What he said was, "Perhaps you will like a few
words with your client alone now," and Charley nodded and out he
went, and once he was gone I said, "Charley, my god I never
figured--"and he said, "Did Harcourt?"* and I said, "Not that they ever
mentioned" and he said, "Ooch," the grunting sound lawyers make when
they know they've backed a loser. "What does he want?" I said. "A
meeting with Mr. Jovanovich," Charley answered.
Now, William Jovanovich is a pretty busy fella, but it's amazing when
you're confronted with a potential multibillion-dollar lawsuit how fast
you can wedge in a meeting. We trooped over.
All the Harcourt Brass was there, I'm there, Charley; Mr. Shog, who would
sweat in an igloo he's so swarthy, is streaming. Harcourt's lawyer
started things: "We're terribly terribly sorry, Mr. Shog. It's an
unforgivable oversight, and please accept our sincerest apologies." Mr.
Shog said, "That's a beginning, since all you did was defame and ridicule
the greatest modern master of Florinese prose who also happened to be for
many years a friend of my family." Then the business head of Harcourt
said, "All right, how much do you want?"
Biiiig mistake. _"Money?"_ Mr. Shog cried. "You think this is petty
blackmail that brings us together? _Resurrection_ is the issue, sir.
Morgenstern must be undefiled. You will published the original version."
And now a look at me. "In the _unabridged_ form."
I said, "I'm done with it, I swear. True, there's just the reunion scene
business we printed up, but there's not liable to be a rush on that, so
it's all past as far as I'm concerned." But Mr. Shog wasn't done with me:
"_You, _ who _dared_ to _defame_ a _master'_ characters are going to put
_your_ words in their mouths? Nossir. No. I say." "It's just a little
thing, " I tried; " a couple pages only."
Then Mr. Jovanovich started talking softly. "Bill, I think we might skip
sending out the reunion scene just now, don't you think?" I made a nod.
Then he turned to Mr. Shog. "We'll print the unabridged. You're a man
who is interested in immortality for his client, and there aren't as many
of you around in publishing as there used to be. You're a gentleman,
sir." "Thank you," from Mr. Shog; "I like to think I am, at least on
occasion." For the first time, he smiled. We all smiled. Very buddy-buddy
now. Then, an addendum from Mr. Shog: "Oh. Yes. Your first
printing of the unabridged will be 100,000 copies."
So far, there are thirteen lawsuits, only eleven involving me directly.
Charley promises nothing will come to court and that eventually Harcourt
will publish the unabridged. But legal maneuvering takes time. The
copyright on Morgensterns runs out in early '78, and all of you who wrote
in are having your names put alphabetically on computer, so whichever
happens first, the settlement or the year, you'll get your copy.
The last I was told, Kermit Shog was willing to come down on his first
printing provided Harcourt agreed to published the sequel to THE PRINCESS
BRIDE, which hasn't been translated into English yet, much less published
here. The title of the sequel is:
Buttercup's Baby: S. Morgenstern's
Glorious Examination of Courage Matched Against the Death of the Heart.
I'd never heard of it, naturally, but there's a Ph.D. candidate in
Florinese Lit up at Columbia who's going through it now. I'm kind of
interested in what he has to say.
--William Goldman
P.S. I'm really sorry about this, but you know the story that ends,
"disregard previous wire, letter follows?" Well, you've got to disregard
the business about the Morgenstern copyright running out in '78. That was
a definite boo-boo but Mr. Shog, being Florinese, has trouble, naturally,
with our numbering system. The copyright runs out in '87, not '78.
Worse, he died. Mr. Shog I mean. (Don't ask how could you tell. It was
easy. One morning he just stopped sweating, so there it was.) What makes
it worse that the whole affair is now in the hands of his kid, named--wait
for it--Mandrake Shog. Mandrake moves with all the verve and speed of a
lizard flaked out on a river bank.
The only good thing that's happened in this whole mess is I finally got a
shot at reading BUTTERCUP'S BABY. Up at Columbia they feel it's
definitely superior to THE PRINCESS BRIDE in satirical content.
Personally, I don't have the emotional attachment to it, but it's a
helluva story, no question.
Give it a look-see when you have a chance.
--August, 1978
P.P.S. This is getting humiliating. Have you been reading in the papers
about the trade problems America is having with Japan? Well, maddening as
this may be, since it reflects on the reunion scene, we're also having
trade problems with Florin which, it turns out, is our leading supplier of
Cadminium which, it also turns out, NASA is panting for.
So all Florence-American litigation, which includes the thirteen law
suits, has officially been put on hold.
What this means is that the reunion scene, for now, is caught between our
need for Cadmium and diplomatic relations between the two countries.
But at least the movie got made. Mandrake Shog was shown it, and word
reached me he even smiled once or twice. Hope springs eternal.
--May, 1987
*THE PRINCESS BRIDE was first published in hardcover in 1973 by Harcourt
Brace Jovanovich.
Use of this excerpt from THE PRINCESS BRIDE by William Goldman may
be made only for purposes of promoting the book, with no changes, editing
or additions whatsoever and must be accompanied by the following copyright
notice: copyright (c) 1973 by William Goldman. All Rights Reserved.
