• Welcome to BookAndReader!

    We LOVE books and hope you'll join us in sharing your favorites and experiences along with your love of reading with our community. Registering for our site is free and easy, just CLICK HERE!

    Already a member and forgot your password? Click here.

The secrects of successful marriage..

I think there are many, but my husband and I just really enjoy each others company. We are different but like always hearing what the other has to say or enjoys doing. We do both have a sense of humor and like to just enjoy what's going on. We are often seperated for long lengths of time and write to each other daily, which I think is very romantic and keeps us in that honeymoon phase:)
 
I've been married thirty-five years (i think).:) So I'm probably in a good position to tell you.

Well - no-one knows.:cool: If you expect a happy marriage - obviously it will fail. Life isn't a permanently happy state of affairs - pun intended.;) so why or how can marriage possibly be any different.

Just get on with it and don't expect too much. By the time you you get to my age you'll be glad you stayed with your partner. At least there are shared memories, even bad ones can look funny viewed in long distance.

So many friends, lovers and family move on or die. Old people are far too intolerant and outspoken to make new friends. Keep the ones you can, including your partner.
 
Communication and compromise go along way too. If you can manage to keep talking even when times are bad you can just about get through anything. And compromise plays its part too - and this only works if both partners are willing to compromise. It's a two-way commitment and I don't think it works if only one partner does all the compromising. And it helps if you don't take everything too seriously - you gotta have fun. Having respect for one another - realising that you are both individuals and there will be times when you'll disagree with one another.
 
I have a very happy marriage. Communication, respect, trust, all that stuff is important.

But, there is one thing that overshadows all other factors, in a successful marriage:

Two bathrooms
 
LOL@Libre. I love your sense of humor.:D To me, it how people communicate and choose to disagree. We are very positive and it helps to just deal with the small things. If one of the kids spills all the cheerios, it's just cheerios. Nothing to get too excited about. We know of people who divorced over small annoyances(i.e.-milk on the wrong fridge shelf, the toothpast cap, etc.)I've only been married for seven years. You definitely change a bit with time, no doubt about that.
 
Motokid said:
Two words....

"Yes dear."
Click to expand...

SHUT UP, moto!!!;)


Some have said great things, I say similar things such as respect and trust. Without it, you're done for.
I have been married for over 11 years and we've had our ups and downs just like anyone. If you go into the marriage thinking everything is going to be perfect all the time, then you need to rethink your options.
 
I went to a party once. Everyone who had kids was divorced. Everyone who didn't have kids was still married. I guess it could've been a coincidence.
 
I'm sure it was, considering the number of people just at TBF who are happily married, with kids.

I'm not married quite yet but having been in a serious relationship with my fiance for over three years, I can tell that everything you guys mentioned is important. I think one of the most important things is the ability and willingness to talk things out. If there's love, and you can talk things out, you'll be good to go.:D
 
jaybe said:
.............. If you expect a happy marriage - obviously it will fail. Life isn't a permanently happy state of affairs - pun intended.;) so why or how can marriage possibly be any different.

Just get on with it and don't expect too much.
Click to expand...


how sad that sounds.......


i have been married for 13 years now, i married a wonderful young man, almost half my age at the time, and we have been blissfully content with each other ever since. we have never had a fight, take all as it comes, and support each other through whatever life throws at us.. we have no children by choice. i think the secret is just to love each other. i know it sounds very mushy, but i can't think of what else has kept us together so happily for all this time. also to have more in common than not, in terms of what interests us..
 
Personally i have no clue but i've been translating my great grandmother's diaries. She was married at the age of 13 :eek: and died a few years after her husband at 82.

According to her, marriage can divided into stages:

Stage 1: Intoxication: you love absolutely everything your partner does - even the bad habits aren't noticed. Everything from the lovemaking to the conversation is sweet.

Stage 2: Familiarity: by now you're beginning to understand you partner better, and are able to see their bad habits - but you still have hope and don't let them get to you. At this stage lovemaking and conversation is pretty much routine run of the mill stuff - you're too shy to suggest something different.

Stage 3: Awakening: You're fully awakened in the sense that you understand your partner and realise that no matter what you do they are unlikely to change those bad habits. On the plus side lovemaking and conversation is on the up as you're more comfortable with each and willing to erm..expand your horizons.

Stage 4: Interruption: kids or careers come along and interrupt the marriage, theres more time spent apart and distance creeps in. You are now so comfortable with your partner that you have no qualms in yelling at them for some minor offence. Conversation revolves only around the kids or careers. If your lucky then you get great make-up lovemaking and if your not then you don't even get to spoon in bed.

Stage 5: Rekindling: those who have braved stage 4 get lucky at stage 5. Something, either a family tragedy or some sort of scare or just plain common sense intervenes and suddenly your back in each others arms. Sacrifices are made and compromises achieved. Conversation is stimulating and lovemaking tender.

Stage 6: Understanding; this where you understand that the only way forward is to pretend that your partner is getting their own way. Conversation and lovemaking is great - as both parties are thinking they are getting their own way and are therefore willing to 'make it up' to their partners.

Stage 7: Soulmates; You know your partner inside out & feel lost if they are away for even 24 hours.


Erm, this has turned out to be longer than i expected, sorry:eek:
 
I have been married for 26 years and counting, and I could easily write several pages of thoughts on the subject but I would rather not at this late hour. One thing to ask yourself is why do people have affairs? I would add that while some affairs so involve sex, many are carried out over the internet or over the phone. The answer? Most people enter into affairs not for the sex, but because they find someone that makes them feel good about themselves.
 
Robert said:
I have been married for 26 years and counting, and I could easily write several pages of thoughts on the subject but I would rather not at this late hour. One thing to ask yourself is why do people have affairs? I would add that while some affairs so involve sex, many are carried out over the internet or over the phone. The answer? Most people enter into affairs not for the sex, but because they find someone that makes them feel good about themselves.
Click to expand...

Do you think that is because their partner is taking them for granted? I've noticed with my friends and relatives that have their spouse home with them most of the time that they often start taking that person for granted and disregarding their needs to a certain extent. I never have my husband home long enough to get used to him much less over look him but we always say one of these days probably when he retires out of the military we will take up some mutual hobbies such as hiking, raquet ball, tennis something to do together on a regular basis.
 
Ronny said:
Do you think that is because their partner is taking them for granted? I've noticed with my friends and relatives that have their spouse home with them most of the time that they often start taking that person for granted and disregarding their needs to a certain extent. I never have my husband home long enough to get used to him much less over look him but we always say one of these days probably when he retires out of the military we will take up some mutual hobbies such as hiking, raquet ball, tennis something to do together on a regular basis.
Click to expand...

Sure, that's part of it. Women complain about little things like their husbands getting a drink without offering to get them one. Things liek this can make a person feel ignored. It's not the drink that counts, it's the thought.

Compliments and flirting begin to wane after couples have been together awhile. Consider if you would, what would happen if your husband stopped complimenting you, perhaps had derogatory things to say about your appearance. You run into a guy at work or the suppermarket who compliments you each time he greets you. How would all this make you feel?

Another thing to consider is intimancy. I've heard many women complain about the lack of intimancy in their marriage. Men and women generally have a diffenent definition of intimacy. I'll bet most men define intimacy as sex. To most women, it has nothing to do with sex.

Three more words before I close. Romance, Romance, Romance.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top