Aardvark
New Member
This is a page or two from a story about a time travelling hamster called Bill and a mouse called Fifi who wears a cat suit. It’s intended to be children’s story.
Please let me know what you think
Bill whistled a jolly tune as he worked putting the final touches to the space ship.
With the last piece cellotaped in place, he stood back to admire his handy work.
It was a fine looking craft, not at all bad for a first attempt.
The spaceship looked like a large shoebox with various plastic pots and bits and bobs cellotaped, tied and glued to it, but then it would because that was exactly what it was.
There was a roughly cut hole at on end of the box for a door and other holes covered in clear plastic sweet wrappers for windows along the sides.
Bill stood back to admire his handiwork and gave a nod of satisfaction. The two plastic forks set it all off just right.
With a fweep-ping noise Fifi clambered out of the door only to come to an abrupt halt as the tail on her cat suit snagged on something.
“Ouch, bet that hurt “ said Bill with some concern.
“Durr! Its false silly” Fifi replied sarcastically. Turning to free herself “I’ve got my real tail wrapped around my tummy, I think this one’s got a knot in it”
The cat suit tail had indeed got knotted and Fifi set about undoing it.
“Right, don’t just stand there staring into nowhere, come and have a look inside”
With that, Fifi fweep-pinged and disappeared back through the hole.
Bill followed.
Inside the spaceship seemed somehow more spacious than Bill had expected. Fifi had been busy, there were interesting bits and pieces dotted about all over the place. Before he had a chance to get a better look Fifi pulled him up short.
“Fweep-ping” she said tapping her foot and giving Bill one of those looks
“If you don’t Fweep-ping then all the air will fall out and we’ll stufferkate”
Bill looked confused.
“Durr! The door, you need to shut the door, how many more times?”
Bill wasn’t too sure on stufferkating, it didn’t sound good so he mumble fweep-ping.
“You need to do it louder than that, if I don’t hear you I might think you’ve forgotten and then I’ll fweep-ping an it’ll open and we’ll stufferkate, well maybe not now but when we’re in deep space and, and”
Fifi looked round but Bill was to engrossed looking at all the gadgets and clearly wasn’t listening. Fifi stood behind Bill and kicked him hard, “FWEEP-PING!”
Bill jumped in surprise “what did you do that for?”
Through clenched teeth, Fifi continued, “I said FWEEP-PING, the door, you haven’t shut the door! Now shut it and do it properly”
Bill hung his head “fweeeeep-ping!” he said sullenly and then with a brighter note “can we look round now?”
Bill was amazed; Fifi appeared to have been busier working on the interior of the ship than he had on the outside. There were two adjoining bedrooms each with a cosy bed, , a navigation room, a large store room and best of all the control room.
The control room had the biggest window; it was covered in a bluey purpley coloured crinkled plastic. “That’s to stop solar radiation and ‘cos I liked the colour” explained Fifi
In the middle of the room were two chairs, positioned to face the window.
“The captains seats, you can captain the left one, mines the one on the right” Fifi blurted excitedly, then added “mines got extra cushions”. Noticing Bills frown she continued “Its only because I’m littler than you, I cant see out of the window otherwise”
They both sat in their control chairs and gazed through the window in silence.
Slowly a big grin crept across Bills face, he started to giggle, softly at first. The giggle was infectious and soon the both of them were in fits of laughter.
“It’s a space ship, a real space ship! We’ll visit the stars and do all sorts of exciting stuff” exclaimed Fifi “but so long as you drive it or do most of the steering Bill,” she added.
Bill nodded in agreement, he had no idea how to steer a spaceship, he wasn’t even sure what a space ship was. The only ship he knew of was the one George the goldfish had once told him about. That was only half a ship and didn’t take up too much space by all accounts but Bill felt sure that the two were very similar.
The pair of them sat in the control chairs for a long time talking about all the adventures they were going to go on. Fifi did most of the talking but Bill did more or less all of the agreeing which was just as important. In fact Bill began to wonder how Fifi knew so much about space and was just about to suggest she do all the steering when she suddenly clasped her paws over her face. “Oh no, I forgot, oh bother, bother, bother!”
Bill stopped himself agreeing just in time and managed to say “bother what?”
“Navigator of course, you cant read a map and I don’t know how too” came the reply
There was a long silence and then Fifi stood up “I know, we’ll hold auditions and choose the best one who attends” she said.
“But wont, I mean it will, er don’t you think?” Bill wasn’t at all sure about auditions and navigators but Fifi would have none of it.
Please let me know what you think
Bill whistled a jolly tune as he worked putting the final touches to the space ship.
With the last piece cellotaped in place, he stood back to admire his handy work.
It was a fine looking craft, not at all bad for a first attempt.
The spaceship looked like a large shoebox with various plastic pots and bits and bobs cellotaped, tied and glued to it, but then it would because that was exactly what it was.
There was a roughly cut hole at on end of the box for a door and other holes covered in clear plastic sweet wrappers for windows along the sides.
Bill stood back to admire his handiwork and gave a nod of satisfaction. The two plastic forks set it all off just right.
With a fweep-ping noise Fifi clambered out of the door only to come to an abrupt halt as the tail on her cat suit snagged on something.
“Ouch, bet that hurt “ said Bill with some concern.
“Durr! Its false silly” Fifi replied sarcastically. Turning to free herself “I’ve got my real tail wrapped around my tummy, I think this one’s got a knot in it”
The cat suit tail had indeed got knotted and Fifi set about undoing it.
“Right, don’t just stand there staring into nowhere, come and have a look inside”
With that, Fifi fweep-pinged and disappeared back through the hole.
Bill followed.
Inside the spaceship seemed somehow more spacious than Bill had expected. Fifi had been busy, there were interesting bits and pieces dotted about all over the place. Before he had a chance to get a better look Fifi pulled him up short.
“Fweep-ping” she said tapping her foot and giving Bill one of those looks
“If you don’t Fweep-ping then all the air will fall out and we’ll stufferkate”
Bill looked confused.
“Durr! The door, you need to shut the door, how many more times?”
Bill wasn’t too sure on stufferkating, it didn’t sound good so he mumble fweep-ping.
“You need to do it louder than that, if I don’t hear you I might think you’ve forgotten and then I’ll fweep-ping an it’ll open and we’ll stufferkate, well maybe not now but when we’re in deep space and, and”
Fifi looked round but Bill was to engrossed looking at all the gadgets and clearly wasn’t listening. Fifi stood behind Bill and kicked him hard, “FWEEP-PING!”
Bill jumped in surprise “what did you do that for?”
Through clenched teeth, Fifi continued, “I said FWEEP-PING, the door, you haven’t shut the door! Now shut it and do it properly”
Bill hung his head “fweeeeep-ping!” he said sullenly and then with a brighter note “can we look round now?”
Bill was amazed; Fifi appeared to have been busier working on the interior of the ship than he had on the outside. There were two adjoining bedrooms each with a cosy bed, , a navigation room, a large store room and best of all the control room.
The control room had the biggest window; it was covered in a bluey purpley coloured crinkled plastic. “That’s to stop solar radiation and ‘cos I liked the colour” explained Fifi
In the middle of the room were two chairs, positioned to face the window.
“The captains seats, you can captain the left one, mines the one on the right” Fifi blurted excitedly, then added “mines got extra cushions”. Noticing Bills frown she continued “Its only because I’m littler than you, I cant see out of the window otherwise”
They both sat in their control chairs and gazed through the window in silence.
Slowly a big grin crept across Bills face, he started to giggle, softly at first. The giggle was infectious and soon the both of them were in fits of laughter.
“It’s a space ship, a real space ship! We’ll visit the stars and do all sorts of exciting stuff” exclaimed Fifi “but so long as you drive it or do most of the steering Bill,” she added.
Bill nodded in agreement, he had no idea how to steer a spaceship, he wasn’t even sure what a space ship was. The only ship he knew of was the one George the goldfish had once told him about. That was only half a ship and didn’t take up too much space by all accounts but Bill felt sure that the two were very similar.
The pair of them sat in the control chairs for a long time talking about all the adventures they were going to go on. Fifi did most of the talking but Bill did more or less all of the agreeing which was just as important. In fact Bill began to wonder how Fifi knew so much about space and was just about to suggest she do all the steering when she suddenly clasped her paws over her face. “Oh no, I forgot, oh bother, bother, bother!”
Bill stopped himself agreeing just in time and managed to say “bother what?”
“Navigator of course, you cant read a map and I don’t know how too” came the reply
There was a long silence and then Fifi stood up “I know, we’ll hold auditions and choose the best one who attends” she said.
“But wont, I mean it will, er don’t you think?” Bill wasn’t at all sure about auditions and navigators but Fifi would have none of it.
