Morty said:
Probably anything that doesn't have the author smiling on the cover which reads "10 steps to a better life" or any such crap.
Life is more complex than many of these alleged psychologists make out. But as long as it's simple, like a food recipe, people buy it and believe it.
How endlessly tragic.
Morty, SFG
I can't help chiming in, because this has been a topic of some interest to me for quite a while now also. And I tend to agree that, in a sense, there are no "10 Steps to a Better Life,'' at least in the spirit in which that observation is offered.
In addition, though, I would like to offer two thoughts, because I firmly believe those better lives can be had.
First of all, there are problems and then there are problems. Some have relatively simple solutions like, say, learning how to do time management. Some are almost impossible for most people to solve on their own like, say, cigarette smoking, or dieting, or overcoming shyness or 'stage fright.' But in virtually all cases just reading the book is
not the solution. It is the willingness to do what the book says that leads to the solution. And therein lies the rub.
Dr. Phil, being a professional, is a pretty shrewd and perceptive observer of people's problems. But, as I remember from the few times I have watched him on TV, he doesn't only dispense advice, but often enough sends people off with additional means of followup -- that
he provides -- to help, or even make sure, that they actually do what he has suggested.
My second thought, for when books won't do it, it that people should look for a course or a self-help group where they will find support for their efforts. Almost all self-help requires a change in personal habits, or attitudes, or personality or even life style, and these are very difficult to accomplish on one's own. They are who we are, and most of resist changing them. We tend to believe we are fine the way we are, and we like the way we are.
So, I don't bame the books for being ineffective, nor do I blame people for not accomplishing what they set out to do. People attempting self-help are facing a very difficult task, whether they realize it or not, and if they can't do it on their own, should realize that it takes more than just reading a book to work the magic.
If I were to write a book on "How to Stop Reading," I think everyone here would immediately understand the difficulty in trying to do just that. And everyone would recognize that the difficulty was not with the book, but came from within ourselves. Just so with changing any other aspect of our personal behavior.
So, just to bring this back to topic, I would suggest that a person coming here wanting a self-help book, first find a book on the relvant topic and then browse it carefully to see what it suggests. And then ask themselves, brutally honestly and realistically, whether they are willing to commit themselves to doing what it asks. If yes, then buy the book and give it a shot. If no, then look for a course or some self-help group for a better chance of success. (And some are near 100% effective.) Or do both.
But in all cases I would strongly suggest
not giving up. I firmly believe the personal tragedy rests in not trying.
Peder