i love you. i love you. and not in a friendly way, although i think we are great friends. and not in a misplaced affection puppy dog way, although i'm sure that's what you will call it. i love you, very ,very simple, very truly. you are the epitome of everything i've ever loooked for in another human being, and i know that you think of me as just a friend and that crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. but.....i had to say it , i can't take it any more, i can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. i can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. i can't talk to you without , without wanting to express my love for everything you are. and i know this will probably queer our friendship, no pun intended, but i had to say it, ' cause i've never felt this way before and i don't care. i like who i am because of it. and if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. but, god, i couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot down. and you know, i will accept that, but i know, i know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation then that means that you feel something too. all i ask is that you , please, is that you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell on it for just 10 seconds. there isn't another soul on this planet who has ever made me half the person i am when i'm with you. and i would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau, because it is there between you and me. you can't deny that. even if....even if , you know, we never talk again after tonight, please know that i am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me. which, while i do appreciate it , i'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.
holden mcneil