Meadow337
Former Moderator
So I'm a watch AND an auction junkie and was, as I periodically do, browsing the auctions for what have you and found this watch description that is a treasure all on its own:
And it's a pretty darn cool watch:
But I have to confess I'd be tempted to buy one just to see if policemen from the Federation Council would turn up to enforce the Temporal Proliferation Treaty of 3012!
Abyss - Waterproof Japanese Style Inspired Blue LED Touchscreen Genuine Leather Wristband Watch
Introducing The Abyss, a minimalist Tron blue and white Japanese inspired LED watch from the last syllable of recorded time which gives its wearer the ability to gaze into the abyss and thereby come face to face with the true nature of his or her own being. What's more, The Abyss allows you to experience reality in four dimensions as The Tralfamadorians do and as a result have total access to past, present, and future; and be able to perceive any point in time at will.
You mean this watch really tells the time? Yes. Even though The Abyss embodies Eye of Sauron style and Nietzschean design with its miasmic blue oyster cult numerals swirling about not a void, but loneliness, like millions of Protoss warrior-priests from Starcraft III battling Beelzebub's black winged minions, this Japanese LED watch does in fact tell the time and does so really efficiently too!
Instead of pressing buttons like other LED watches, The Abyss relays temporal information with a tap of the screen - YES, The Abyss is a touchscreen Japanese LED watch (In some star systems such technology is banned under the Temporal Proliferation Treaty of 3012. Please check with your Federation Council before purchasing). The Abyss stays broodingly dark like Conradian Darkness Heart until you tap its crystal surface upon which the screen explodes with blue and white LED pixies like a thousand baby Bruce Springsteens dancing in the dark against a thousand Billy Idols dancing with themselves in a River Dance to the Death! To adjust the time, keep your finger on The Abyss' crystal surface for a few seconds to enter hour and minute change mode.
In fact, when you start wearing The Abyss you may find yourself getting Facebook friend requests from the greatest wizards of our time like Merlin, Gandalf, and even the great Max Power himself! Yes, Max Power a name [that] sounds good in your ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear! 'Cause his name can be said by anyone! Befriend them all and in doing so you will be the greatest sorcerer ever known and Jo Murray may even write a book about you!
David Hasselhoff and Napolean Dynamite (yes, he was previously fond of his Casio until he saw The Abyss) are said to be Abyss owners, as are James Cameron (Do you have to ask why?), Shaft, Alan Moore, Sigmund Freud, Anne Rice, William Gibson, and Sonny (Cher on the other hand does not wear The Abyss as she prefers The Andromeda). In reality, this watch is perfect for Banned Diggers, Farmville Champions, Rednecks, Socialites, Hippies, Hipsters, Hip Replacement Hipsters, WWF Fans, Vegans, Freegans, Fans of Sara and Tegan, anyone who has watched Matrix 3 more than 10 times (all two of you), anyone who knows the complete lyrics to Na Na Hey Hey by Bananarama, and anyone who is a somebody.
Introducing The Abyss, a minimalist Tron blue and white Japanese inspired LED watch from the last syllable of recorded time which gives its wearer the ability to gaze into the abyss and thereby come face to face with the true nature of his or her own being. What's more, The Abyss allows you to experience reality in four dimensions as The Tralfamadorians do and as a result have total access to past, present, and future; and be able to perceive any point in time at will.
You mean this watch really tells the time? Yes. Even though The Abyss embodies Eye of Sauron style and Nietzschean design with its miasmic blue oyster cult numerals swirling about not a void, but loneliness, like millions of Protoss warrior-priests from Starcraft III battling Beelzebub's black winged minions, this Japanese LED watch does in fact tell the time and does so really efficiently too!
Instead of pressing buttons like other LED watches, The Abyss relays temporal information with a tap of the screen - YES, The Abyss is a touchscreen Japanese LED watch (In some star systems such technology is banned under the Temporal Proliferation Treaty of 3012. Please check with your Federation Council before purchasing). The Abyss stays broodingly dark like Conradian Darkness Heart until you tap its crystal surface upon which the screen explodes with blue and white LED pixies like a thousand baby Bruce Springsteens dancing in the dark against a thousand Billy Idols dancing with themselves in a River Dance to the Death! To adjust the time, keep your finger on The Abyss' crystal surface for a few seconds to enter hour and minute change mode.
In fact, when you start wearing The Abyss you may find yourself getting Facebook friend requests from the greatest wizards of our time like Merlin, Gandalf, and even the great Max Power himself! Yes, Max Power a name [that] sounds good in your ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear! 'Cause his name can be said by anyone! Befriend them all and in doing so you will be the greatest sorcerer ever known and Jo Murray may even write a book about you!
David Hasselhoff and Napolean Dynamite (yes, he was previously fond of his Casio until he saw The Abyss) are said to be Abyss owners, as are James Cameron (Do you have to ask why?), Shaft, Alan Moore, Sigmund Freud, Anne Rice, William Gibson, and Sonny (Cher on the other hand does not wear The Abyss as she prefers The Andromeda). In reality, this watch is perfect for Banned Diggers, Farmville Champions, Rednecks, Socialites, Hippies, Hipsters, Hip Replacement Hipsters, WWF Fans, Vegans, Freegans, Fans of Sara and Tegan, anyone who has watched Matrix 3 more than 10 times (all two of you), anyone who knows the complete lyrics to Na Na Hey Hey by Bananarama, and anyone who is a somebody.
And it's a pretty darn cool watch:
