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Would you read on?

kcmay

kcmay

New Member
This is the beginning of my current WIP, a science fiction.

If you picked up a book in the bookstore and read this opening, would you put it back on the shelf or take it to the cash register?


Monday, June 5, 2023

Protesters marched up and down the public sidewalk outside the Center for Human Genetic Advancement, chanting, “Free the Reps” and waving their signs: ‘Freedom for all!’ ‘Reps are human, too!’ Several pushed in front of the news camera, shouting concerns. A reporter asked them questions and tilted the microphone toward them.

Katie Marsh got out of her car and hurried toward the building’s front entrance. The enclosed campus, with its twenty-foot brick fence topped with electrified barbed wire, would be a safe haven once she got inside. The reporter spotted her and rushed to intercept her.

“What’s your business here?” he asked, then shoved the microphone at her.

“No comment.”

“Is it true they’re performing experiments on children?”

Katie quickened her pace, one hand up to shield her face from the news camera.

The reporter’s interest caught the protesters' attention. Several swarmed her, jostling one another in an attempt to reach her. A boisterous man grabbed at her elbow, shouting about the cruel imprisonment being forced on the innocent people within those walls.

Katie clutched her purse tightly to her side. Lowering her head, she pressed forward. If they knew who she was, this peaceful demonstration could turn ugly.


Thanks :)
 
I might well indeed read some more before making a buy decision, but I think you might have given away too much of the suspense with the mention of the children. My thought would be to let the reader keep wondering.
 
On the strength of the possibilities of the first page, I'd keep on reading. I would also read more in the middle to get the flavor and see if it kept the tone.

Not sure if I agree with Peder about giving too much away with mention of the children. You have set parameters though, that I'm not sure you want to set that early in the game. I know, sort of the same difference, but marginally different.

Have you finished the book? Or just getting started?
 
Thanks for the replies. I'm about 3/4 of the way through the second draft. So, about half-way done! lol
 
No I wouldn't.

Anything about 'protest'; 'activism' or 'politics' doesn't interest me.
90% of it is opinion; 5% is factual and 5% is left to a mostly often
times - flimsy attempt at being :

'fair to both sides of the argument' so to speak.
 
Yes, I'd read on. A potentially violent protest is a good way to inform the reader that the book is going to be about an emotionally charged issue. You pull the reader into the middle of the story without revealing the entirety of the story.

JohnB
 
Thanks! Good to know it has enough of a hook. :) Hopefully the rest of the story will keep the reader's interest. lol
 
kcmay said:
If you picked up a book in the bookstore and read this opening, would you put it back on the shelf or take it to the cash register?
Click to expand...
If I were to pick it up in a book store then I would rarely read the opening page, but instead do the McLuhan Test on it, which is to say I would read page sixty-nine. The logic behind this is that writers may well put the effort into getting their punchy opening captivating the reader, but the reader would want to know if the quality is sustained through the book, so jumping in at a later point can be a good indicator of this.
 
Interesting! I've never tried that. I'll have to give it a try next time I'm at the bookstore. :)
 
I'm kinda lazy, so I would probably get it from the library. It sounds intriguing though. Actually the theme (exp on children) comes up in the book in my sig.

It's a very interesting sci fi theme these days. Hopefully, there aren't too many books out there yet though:)
Would I read, 9/10 say yes.
 
Hello,
i think It's a very interesting sci fi theme these days. Hopefully, there aren't too many books out there yet though.
 
Well, there are a lot of similar stories in other genres and they still sell, so even if this is similar to other ones, as long as the characters are interesting and the plot resonates with people, it should be fine.
 
Thanks for the comments. Yeah, if you query for Vampire stories... there are a TON! Sparkly, lovable vampires everywhere now-a-days. :) For my current novel, I'm trying to decide whether to start with the scene I posted above, or another, so these comments are helpful!
 
This book is finally FINISHED! Woot! I've posted the first two scenes (the first chapter is quite long) in this forum, under its title, "The Venom of Vipers."
 
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